[FranzJosef]

When the patient first starts therapy, he is likely to be angry, scared and probably has some growing up to do. (Yes that's me.) So it is appropraite for the T relationship to emphasise boundaries and consistency.

But assuming the patient starts to improve, these constrainst become ... constraining. Should the T become more flexible and the relationship more equal? I think so, but what do you think?

[stopdog]

I have never had a therapist who stressed those things. I have stressed those things to make sure the therapist knows to stay back and in their place. I can't say anything has grown - a few times the therapist has seemed to think it has but I have had to assure her it has not.

[Lauliza]

I've never felt constrained by therapy so I'm not sure what you mean. What you describe sounds more like how friendships might evolve. Clients aren't less than equal to a T when they begin, it's just that they just go to therapists needing something from them. Once a client begins needing less from their T, visits becomes less frequent or the relationship often ends.

[divine1966]

I wasn't angry or scared. Yes i had growing to do in regards to my relationship with men and finances. That's why I started therapy. I know I showed growth over the year. My t says growth starts with awareness. I am very much aware why I had specific issues.

My t is flexible. She doesn't need to be more flexible. My relationship with her didn't change. I don't see how and why it would or why it has to.

My therapy has nothing to do with boundaries and consistency. My therapy is about me discussing issues with my t and learning to stop attracting unavailable men and fixing my finances.

She never emphasized any boundaries. It was never brought up. I am not sure what you mean by consistency.

I am almost 50 year old professional woman, not a child, I can't imagine crossing any boundaries with my t. Like what? What could it be?

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[boundaries8]

Originally Posted by FranzJosef

When the patient first starts therapy, he is likely to be angry, scared and probably has some growing up to do. (Yes that's me.) So it is appropraite for the T relationship to emphasise boundaries and consistency.

But assuming the patient starts to improve, these constrainst become ... constraining. Should the T become more flexible and the relationship more equal? I think so, but what do you think?

I know with my T our boundaries have become more relaxed but that's just my experience. Good luck.

[feralkittymom]

I think if the needs brought to therapy are developmental, then the psychological boundaries do change to be better attuned to the stages of development. It's a parental model. But I don't really like the term "boundaries" as it implies control more than a way of meeting needs.

I'm not sure what you mean by boundaries - do you mean in terms of out of session contact or sharing personal stuff? I wouldn't expect some boundaries to change, but I have kind of expected that my T might speak her own thoughts more and maybe say some personal stuff as time went on.

[SkyscraperMeow]

I think that the notion that client and therapist aren't equal is a distortion to begin with. You're absolutely equal with your therapist anyway.

Now, in terms of boundaries, the only ones I can think of are ones around contact? If you're asking if therapists are likely to relax rules around phone, email, text, out of session contact, then no. But that's just a matter of logistics. If a therapist had 20 clients, all of whom wanted contact whenever they liked, that would be a nightmare.

If you're talking about other boundaries, then I'm not sure what the answer is, but I suspect it is probably no. The therapeutic framework is there to keep the client in a safe place and give the therapist much needed breathing room outside of the therapy relationship.