[ThingWithFeathers]

In a few weeks, maybe months, I will be sharing an incredibly detailed written account of my csa with my t. I mentioned to her that I thought I might share it and she said she'd happily (perhaps not quite the right word, but hey) read it. She actually seemed quite eager to see it and said it would help her understand my experiences better. I'm glad she is okay, even glad, that I would share it.

It's a really detailed and explicit document. It's currently 8 pages long, and I think it will end up being around 11 - 12 pages by the time I finish getting EVERYTHING I can remember out.

I'm sooo nervous about having her actually read it - I can't read through it yet myself. But I'm also glad that she willingly accepted the idea. I need this out and sharing it with her will help, I think!

I think you're very brave.

[granite1]

i think this is so brave of you to do . im sure your T will treat it with the respect it deserves

[RedSun]

I wrote everything down for T about four weeks ago. It was only three sides of paper though! It was my third attempt after burning one, and eating the second.
I think I feel better now....it was a bit of an anti climax somehow. But at least she knows what I'm on about now, and there was some stuff that needed clarifying because I get in a muddle if I talk about it...

I hope your sharing will be really helpful to you, I'm sure your T will be respectful of how hard it has been for you.

[divine1966]

Good job . You are so courageous. We are all here for you

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[ThingWithFeathers]

Thanks for the support, everyone. Now I've just got to finish it. It's grossly explicit, so I will be so ashamed when she reads it

[Bill3]

You have so much courage.

(((((ThingWithFeathers)))))

[monkeybrains21]

You shouldn't be ashamed. U didn't do it it was done to u. I did the same a bit ago and I was so anxious. At that time I was seein T every other week. Well I had to leave it with her and I was a mess of anxiety and had panic attacks. They lessened the longer she had it. But when I finally got it back I felt some relief. We hadn't had time to speak of any of it for I quit with T. Nothing to do with my "story" but send said something that angered me and u couldn't get past it. I tried for weeks and I was just so far gone I ended it.

Don't let it frighten u. U can stick it out and the two of u will speak about it probably a bit at a time to let u work it through. Depending on how often u see each other maybe a pg every month or two.

[ThingWithFeathers]

Well, I handed the document to t today and she will read it before our next session. I'm nervous!

[RedSun]

Wow, well done TWF, good luck for next session xxx

Well done!

[Bill3]

Great job!

[ThingWithFeathers]

Should I be prepared for her to bring it up next session? Will she say anything about it? I don't know what to expect next session, I guess that makes me nervous - what will she say, if anything?

[ruh roh]

How does she usually interact with you during sessions, does she bring things up or do you? Mine pretty much doesn't bring things up, but waits for me to do that. It doesn't meant she thinks it's unimportant, though. I think it's an approach to therapy that some have (and in only this one case, with this therapist, does that work for me).

I'm guessing she'd act the same way with this information as she has with you in general. If you have a hard time finding your way back into it, and she is waiting for you to say something, all you have to do is ask her for her thoughts on what you wrote, that it's hard for you to bring up so you're handing the ball to her to get things started.

[Bill3]

Hi ThingWithFeathers, I was just wondering how your weekend is shaping up.

[ThingWithFeathers]

Originally Posted by ruh roh

How does she usually interact with you during sessions, does she bring things up or do you? Mine pretty much doesn't bring things up, but waits for me to do that. It doesn't meant she thinks it's unimportant, though. I think it's an approach to therapy that some have (and in only this one case, with this therapist, does that work for me).

I'm guessing she'd act the same way with this information as she has with you in general. If you have a hard time finding your way back into it, and she is waiting for you to say something, all you have to do is ask her for her thoughts on what you wrote, that it's hard for you to bring up so you're handing the ball to her to get things started.

Thanks for your feedback!

She comfortably takes the lead and I comfortably follow. I'm very shy and find it hard to talk (I am getting a lot better). She brings stuff up, and so do I now (sometimes). So ... maybe she'll bring it up.

[ThingWithFeathers]

Originally Posted by Bill3

Hi ThingWithFeathers, I was just wondering how your weekend is shaping up.

Hi Bill, you're kind to ask. I'm surprisingly good all things considered. Had a very emotionally draining week, with my statement finished and all I had to do yesterday. I'm coping pretty well. Having said that I did start drinking and smoking cannabis at 2pm to get rid of this wired feeling.

I'm very glad to have my statement finished, now I can focus on one thing at a time. How is your weekend, Bill?

[ThingWithFeathers]

*Never mind*