[ManOfConstantSorrow]

I used to worry about all sorts of worthy causes, was upset at injustice, wanted a better world, got upset by official lying, was suitably disgusted by Boris, but now I just a call all that all-or-nothing thinking, personalisation and catastrophising, and don't care.

I have become a monster.

[unaluna]

Really? The serenity prayer way of being in the world i think would make you more effective at "being the change you want to see in the world." You can waste less energy worrying and expend more energy doing.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

I have always despised the serenity prayer. Now I don't care one way or tother.

[Leah123]

That sounds more like depression or apathy than CBT. Indeed, at first I thought you might be making an ironic joke, but actually, taking it seriously- sometimes therapy does elicit that type of response as we get bogged down by looking at tough things or have a perspective shift that requires rebalancing. I hope you feel better and more balanced soon. Can you talk to your T about this shift?

[Ruminati]

This generation (all of us ) have become materialistic, selfish and corrupt. I know what you mean.. Don't stop caring, don't stop grieving it man of constant sorrows.

If you was a monster you wouldn't take the time to post.

The times they are a changing

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

I am not so sure it is apathy or depression it is just a new way of seeing the world and one that is a little too comfortable. Do I really want to be a smug bastard? I am rather concerned that being a smug bastard is so comfortable.

[ruh roh]

Sounds like more all or nothing thinking to me. Black and White 2.0.

[Chummy]

Why do you think it's because of CBT?

But I have this too. I used to have a strong opinion, I would care about what happens in the world, etc. Now I just don't care. I can't help it. If I see something bad on the news, I have no reaction at all. I do think it's bad, but other than that I don't care, I don't feel anything about it. But I think it's because of the depression.

[Lauliza]

That sounds like something other than CBT to me. The concepts you learn like all or nothing thinking, are to be applied in the proper context to help you cope with whatever is not working for you. Losing passion, not caring about things you once cared about, caring less about others- those are signs of depression.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Originally Posted by ruh roh

Sounds like more all or nothing thinking to me. Black and White 2.0.

Au contraire, it is grey, finely nuanced, nothing is good, bad, it is all what it is, no more no less.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Originally Posted by Chummy

Why do you think it's because of CBT?

But I have this too. I u...t care, I don't feel anything about it. But I think it's because of the depression.

It is not that I don't feel - at one time I would be up in arms about the plight of the migrants at Calais, but now I think, well there it is tough on them, but it their choice, and there are pros and cons, the UK is not what they think, and they would have been wiser to stop home (unless seeking asylum obviously, but there are laws covering that), and on the whole it is best they are excluded.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Originally Posted by Lauliza

That sounds like something other than CBT to me. The concepts you learn like a...ou once cared about, caring less about others- those are signs of depression.

I am less depressed than I have been for years, and less anxious too, finished therapy, running down medication, but of course depression has the trick of sneaking back when you least expect it. I am watching.

Well I care enough to vote for the next Labour party leader, the most quixotic of activities, and won't be for that idiot, Corbyn. He cares about quite unreasonable things, he needs some CBT.

[Leah123]

If you were over-anxious in the past, and now you're able to take a step back and not feel overwhelmed by anxiety about world affairs, you may indeed feel "flat" as you adjust. Because once our brains are used to the hyperactivity of anxiety and settle out, it takes time to set a new baseline, and in the interim it can feel depressing. But that's not the same as not caring about anything. If it's that things that triggered you are being resolved (politics or whatever you were super-passionate about), you'll still find you can make a difference and empathize, but maybe not be consumed by it.

So, if you don't care about anyone or anything and wouldn't help at all, that's apathy. But if you settle into a place of reasonable balance where you can choose your causes but not burn out, and do what you find meaningful, that's what I'd call healthy. Maybe you can talk about it with your T and be patient with yourself and see....

have you been feeling this way long, was it triggered by something suddenly, have you talked about it with your T at all yet?

[ruh roh]

Originally Posted by ManOfConstantSorrow

Au contraire, it is grey, finely nuanced, nothing is good, bad, it is all what it is, no more no less.

Calling yourself a monster is nuanced? m'kay

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

I wonder if it is like what Catholics feel after confession? Sin, confess, move on, sin some more. [My understanding of religion is somewhat shaky.]

[Leah123]

You sound angry to me, actually, more than apathetic, with that post.

Sounds like something in therapy has unsettled you lately?

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Originally Posted by ruh roh

Calling yourself a monster is nuanced? m'kay

Monster is of course a figure of speech, I don't actually believe I have become a real life monster.

[Onward2wards]

It seems to me like pre-CBT, you felt intense upset at understandably upsetting things, and post-CBT you're somehow using these new ways of thinking to invalidate your own feelings and points of view. I don't believe that's the effect CBT is designed to have. This is clearly upsetting you.

I'm not sure what else to say, except that I have sometimes experienced a less intense form of the same thing. It bothers me too, and I have been trying to figure out exactly what's causing it and what to do about it.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

It seems to me like pre-CBT, you felt intense upset at understandably upsetting things, and post-CBT you're somehow using these new ways of thinking to invalidate your own feelings and points of view. I don't believe that's the effect CBT is designed to have. This is clearly upsetting you.

There is something in this. The previous negative bias was I think a more realistic way of seeing the world, but a positive, almost self serving bias is a more comfortable but less accurate perception. I too am sure CBT is not meant to do this, but of course everyone is different and the effect will be different on different personalities.

People's comments and observations here are all helpful in understanding what I feel.

[Lauliza]

Originally Posted by ManOfConstantSorrow

I am less depressed than I have been for years, and less anxious too, finished therapy, running down medication, but of course depression has the trick of sneaking back when you least expect it. I am watching.

Well I care enough to vote for the next Labour party leader, the most quixotic of activities, and won't be for that idiot, Corbyn. He cares about quite unreasonable things, he needs some CBT.

People do tend to mellow with age as well. Young college age adults are famously idealistic. Once you experience the world along with other factors, you see things much less black and white. Its just human nature sometimes.

I don't like the serenity prayer either! I thought I was the only one.

[atisketatasket]

Most people know they should care about something that's wrong. Most people also don't have the energy to do that too much, or to do anything about it.

I admire those who do have the energy, but really, to me, it sounds like you've become typical, not monstrous. (Yes, I know those are not mutually exclusive.)

Oops, I just read the whole thread. I thought you were making a joke when I first read it.

Having maybe stuck my foot in my mouth, I'll say that I get much more upset about world events when I'm depressed (I finally had to stop reading/watching news for a while last summer - I still think it was a particularly awful time, world events-wise.)

When I'm recovering from a depression, much of my energy is focused on that recovery. I've noticed that that seems to leave me less interested in world events and with fewer feelings and opinions to spare for them.

Maybe one of these years I'll hit a happy medium.

Therapy in general seems to have this effect on a lot of people. I think you can go back to being compassionate though.