[atisketatasket]

I go for "okay" or "fine" and a stony look daring them to ask more. I hate the question in general, unless it's asked by a friend or family member, who might actually want to know the answer.

I get the feeling they expect me to answer as a way to start off the session, or something.

[stopdog]

"The same as usual" or "Fine" - thankfully she quit asking it after a couple of years. I was being honest.

I just answer it honestly.... although she didn't have to ask the question today I'm pretty sure it was written all over my face how happy I was to see her again.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

I hate when she asks me that. I always say 'Ok but struggling". I feel like she is just trying to start the session off. Id rather do it myself.

[ruh roh]

I don't think she has asked me this. I think she sometimes asks what's been happening or what's been going on because there's usually a lot going on. Mostly though, I think I just start talking. I don't think I even say I'm fine when a person in real life asks. I'll answer with how I'm feeling, or (typically) that I have no idea.

[Leah123]

I tell her honestly how I feel.

[ScarletPimpernel]

If she asks in the hallway, I'll say "good", "fine", "okay", or "wonderful" sarcastically. I've already asked her whether it's a serious question or small talk in the hallway, and she said small talk. And she does know that if I say "wonderful" it's sarcastic (because I'll probably never feel wonderful).

When we get in the room, I'll say the truth either vague or descriptively. Might be something simple as "I'm struggling" or "not good". Or it could lead directly into a specific problem.

[ThingWithFeathers]

I say "I'm okay, I guess" She can usually tell by the tone and my facial expressions how I am.

[Chummy]

I usually say okay. Then she asks what does okay mean. I don't like the question. I often don't really know how I feel. Whenever I'm asked that question outside of therapy, I say fine. I want to say that to T too, but she isn't satisfied with that answer. I know okay doesn't really answer the question, but ugh.

[SkyscraperMeow]

I answer the question and say what is on my mind. I don't go to therapy to have a therapist pry things out of me, or to guess at my reasons for being there, or my feelings that day. Therapy is damn expensive. I can't afford to be less than open. It's only my time and money I'd be wasting.

I answer "tired" i always answer that, i say that to everyone/anyone who asks i hate the question it is never genuine people never actually want to know how you are.

He never asks me because he knows that when we sit down I will tell him.
Side note - a therapist once told me that 'fine' stands for f***ed up, insecure, neurotic and emotional.

[stopdog]

Sometimes one can just be fine. I don't see it as hiding, lying or waiting for the therapist to drag something out. It is a bad question - but fine is a reasonable response. I am often not having any great emotion one way or the other. My life is not a constant crisis. Some of the situation in my life is not about me but the health of another - so while she may be quite ill - I am not and am therefore fine. For me, the range is that sometimes I am somewhat less than fine, or sometimes finer, but fine itself is the usual.

When my T asks this, it isn't just a courtesy or informality; he really wants to know. Generally we start my sessions by getting an overview of my mood level, so "how are you" means "what is your mood level?", "what is your depression level?", "are you sleeping?", etc. Sometimes my answer really is "good" or "fine," (which is awesome), and I expand on why I answer the way I do.

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by SkyscraperMeow

I answer the question and say what is on my mind. I don't go to therapy to have a therapist pry things out of me, or to guess at my reasons for being there, or my feelings that day. Therapy is damn expensive. I can't afford to be less than open. It's only my time and money I'd be wasting.

Mmmm...I usually go in with a specific topic in mind that I want to get right to (given that I have so much trouble verbalizing in there) and when they insist on asking how I am, that's the waste of time. Also discombobulating. I'll tell them if they need to know how I am.

And often I am in fact fine.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[stopdog]

Indeed - if I am not fine and if I determine they need to know that I am not fine in the area that is affected, I tell them. It also happens that, should I be unfine, I can be unfine but in some way completely unrelated to why I am at the appointment.

I think it is a stupid and meaningless and frustrating question for a THERAPIST to ask. Kind of weird actually.

[musinglizzy]

She actually doesn't usually ask me that. She may say something similar in a more specific way. But if she does, I usually say "ok." Just my standard answer for such a loaded question.

[AncientMelody]

It's not a loaded question....I tell her how I am. Whether I am good, bad, tired, giddy, or off-kilter. Then I go into detail about why I think I'm feeling that way. Pretty much leads right into the session

[AncientMelody]

Originally Posted by puzzle_bug1987

I think it is a stupid and meaningless and frustrating question for a THERAPIST to ask. Kind of weird actually.

See I don't really get this. Yes I understand that you don't like therapy, and I can certainly see why with the experiences you've had to endure. But what the heck is meaningless about it? I think it's a very sensible question to ask, and if my psychiatrist DIDN'T ask that I'd find it odd.

[rainbow8]

I usually say "I don't know" and then start talking about how I really am. But my T doesn't usually ask me. She starts out by having me settle in, look around the room, then close my eyes, go inside, and find a place I want to start.

[catnip123]

I usually say "I don't know", because that is very often the case. I'm not always really aware of exactly what I'm feeling or not able to easily explain it.

I had to smile a bit after reading all the different responses to this post.
I don't often feel sorry for therapists because I figure that they knew what they were getting into when they took the job, but when you realize how individualized and how differently people react to this one simple question (ie. how we all interpret it and how we respond to it), you have to recognize that sometimes therapists have a tough row to hoe when figuring out what a client does or doesn't want them to say or do LOL Pretty funny actually!

[AncientMelody]

Originally Posted by eden1515

I answer "tired" i always answer that, i say that to everyone/anyone who asks i hate the question it is never genuine people never actually want to know how you are.

Yes, never. Nobody EVER gives a damn about anyone else. I'm sorrry, very sorry, if that has been your experience in life. But there are genuine people out in the world.

[EricVannes]

My , therapist knows how I'm doing just by looking at me , so rather than ask she greets me differently each time we meet .