Just wondering if people expect a lot more from their therapist/psychologist than they do most other people reading a lot of the threads on here it seems like people expect A LOT from them.

[Leah123]

Nah, I expect perfection from everyone.

[stopdog]

No - I do not. I pay they to stay back and to keep their feelings to themselves for 50 minutes a week.
Plus - they set the game up and fail to adequately explain what is supposed to be going on, they do not have any set guidelines other than don't have sex with a client, they try to change horses midstream, and they label and blame clients.

Originally Posted by stopdog

No - I do not. I pay they to stay back and to keep their feelings to themselves for 50 minutes a week.
Plus - they set the game up and fail to adequately explain what is supposed to be going on, they do not have any set guidelines other than don't have sex with a client, they try to change horses midstream, and they label and blame clients.

I am sorry what do you mean by stay back?

[Leah123]

Reasonably high and high in an appropriate way sound similar to me. Would "reasonably high" mean a little too high?

Originally Posted by Leah123

Nah, I expect perfection from everyone.

That must be disappointing I try and keep my expectations low for everyone.

Originally Posted by Leah123

Reasonably high and high in an appropriate way sound similar to me. Would "reasonably high" mean a little too high?

Yeah reasonably high is kind of like you expect a fair amount but you aren't all professional about it. It is more casual than high in an appropriate way if that makes any sense.

Appropriately high. There are things I expect from my therapist and pdoc that are very specific to their role which I do not particularly expect from others. I expect they know how to maintain and respect appropriate boundaries consistently; I may wish that from others, but I don't necessarily expect it. I expect my T/pdoc to handle the information I give them supportively, confidentially, and helpful; again, I may wish that from others, but I don't necessarily have the expectation that they'll always be able to do so. I expect my T/pdoc to handle any crisis situation I am in with professionalism, calm, assistance, and support; again, I might wish that from others, but they may not necessarily have the skills to follow through each and every time.

All of the above are aspects of their role as the professionals I pay to do so, so yes, those are very appropriate expectations that are higher of them than would be of they other "lay" people in my life.

[ruh roh]

Of course I expect more. I am paying quite a lot of money to expect certain things.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by eden1515

I am sorry what do you mean by stay back?

I mean they don't contact me outside of appointments other than for change of time - no checking up on me in any way, they don't get physically near me, they don't tell me about themselves, and they don't talk when I tell them I don't want them to - they keep themselves away from me

[scorpiosis37]

I think my expectations are appropriately high, but they keep failing to meet them. I expect them to show up on time, let me know if they are going to cancel, give me a referral if they are no longer going to be available, and follow through on X if they say they are going to do X. Lately, that seems absolutely impossible to find. Hence, I do not currently have a T.

[atisketatasket]

Appropriately high. Basically, what lolagrace said.

Not sure this is a question anyone will answer "too high" on.

Well maybe no one would answer too high about themselves but i do wonder if peoples therapist/psychologist would think they had too high expectations for them as practitioners.

1) They market themselves as professionals.

2) They advertise their degrees and education (wall plaques, internet).

3) They brag about the clients they have saved/helped.

Hey, if you're going to toot your own horn, don't tell me after you've messed up that you're just like another kid on the block trying to make ends meet.

Originally Posted by Sizzling

1) They market themselves as professionals.

2) They advertise their degrees and education (wall plaques, internet).

3) They brag about the clients they have saved/helped.

Hey, if you're going to toot your own horn, don't tell me after you've messed up that you're just like another kid on the block trying to make ends meet.

Not all of them do that

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by eden1515

Well maybe no one would answer too high about themselves but i do wonder if peoples therapist/psychologist would think they had too high expectations for them as practitioners.

I believe the first one I see would say I think too little of them, not to too much.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

I think I expect a lot. My T goes beyond my expectations though.

[aetheorist]

Yes to what I think is an appropriate degree but only for our interaction...if I find a therapist effective and continue to see him/her, they don't really get to behave like a "person" for the duration of the session. They have to be a clinician and I have my own standards for that....they listen to me, respect my values, focus on my stuff, etc...they don't get to complain about their life or just excuse themselves if they'd rather go somewhere else... I don't apply these standards to my friends, family, etc. when we interact. So I at least have different expectations for our interaction. Outside the session? Not at all, just another person.

what about when the therapist/psychologist has an emergency (personal or with another client) do you still have the same expectations in regard to time and attendance and possibly other things you can think of.

[stopdog]

I would not have an emergency that the therapist would be a part of. I cannot conceive of such a thing for me.
If the therapist had an emergency with another client - and I guess cancelled or was late for my appointment - I could deal with it. I would expect a call to prevent me from showing up or an apology if a call was not possible. Other than canceling the appointment I had, I am not sure how an emergency with another client would possibly have anything to do with me.

[aetheorist]

we would have to define personal emergency, that could mean a lot of things. if it's an emergency with another client and my therapist is the clinician who must respond then that takes priority over my need for a routine session and the therapist would hopefully make up the time when able.

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by eden1515

what about when the therapist/psychologist has an emergency (personal or with another client) do you still have the same expectations in regard to time and attendance and possibly other things you can think of.

I think I'd think less of a therapist who didn't prioritize a personal or clinical emergency over my normal ol' session. I'm not likely to have an emergency that involves one of them, so they should direct their resources where needed, when needed.

[atisketatasket]

Also if I did have an emergency in which they were needed, I'd like to know that that took priority over their 2:30 pm appointment.

Originally Posted by eden1515

Just wondering if people expect a lot more from their therapist/psychologist than they do most other people reading a lot of the threads on here it seems like people expect A LOT from them.

That's part of the therapy.

Originally Posted by eden1515

what about when the therapist/psychologist has an emergency (personal or with another client) do you still have the same expectations in regard to time and attendance and possibly other things you can think of.

The expectation that my T and pdoc will manage their work with other clients with the same amount of support and professionalism as me applies. I have strong faith that they would prioritize emergencies and their own self-care as needed.

There are those occasions when my pdoc may be running a bit late because he's had to work with a patient in crisis. That is completely understandable and is going to happen from time to time. My T has had occasions where he has been quite ill or there has been a family emergency where he had to reschedule on short notice. It doesn't happen often, but I completely understand when it does.

The opposite has held true. My pdoc has found ways to see me on very little notice when I was in crisis. My T is available to talk or get me in under the same circumstances. That is part of their job. Again, these aren't common incidents, but when they occur, my pdoc and T have always met that level of support and professionalism.

Those aren't too high expectations. That is what they do as part of their profession. But I do absolutely expect that level of care from my therapist and pdoc, as well as other medical professionals I see. I do not stay with them if they do not have an efficient way for handling emergencies -- theirs or mine or my family's.

But they are very professionally and appropriately boundaried. Our expectations for each other are apparent and respected on both ends. That makes a huge difference in our working relationship.