[Tongalee]

I've found myself in a real dilemma... I've had some issues lately and have been in a tough place. To top it all off, there's a realization beginning to head that I might not be able to attend therapy in the way I would like to very soon. I've moved up in frequency quite a bit in the last year, from once a week to three times a week. This worries me, I feel like I'm getting too attached to her, which is just validated by my high level of anxiety of dropping down to two or one session a week, or worse, having to stop all together.

I have session tomorrow with her and have been looking forward to it all day. I can't stop thinking about sitting with her next to me. I want to put my head on her shoulder, or rest it on her chest. What the heck is going on?? Why do I want this and feel like I need it to get through this difficult time? Is this transference, or am I just plain going crazy?!?

Please, anyone, help me understand this.

For me it was like that in the beginning. Considering my history it would be surprising If I hadn't felt that way. For me I was still searching for the mother we all deserve and need.
As the therapy has progressed and the work is done that feeling changes.
If the feelings are there, then it's best to expose them. Stuffing them down doesn't work and doesn't heal.

[Bayblue]

Hi Tongalee,

It's such an intense set of feelings you are describing. Not only that things in life aren't going great, but you are also making changes around therapy. Not easy to process both of these things at once.

I wonder if you can give yourself some space in not making too many changes to your therapy process until things settle down a bit? Can you commit or guarantee at least two sessions for a set period of time, to give yourself a sense of security and time to adjust?

I don't have a lot of experience, but my sense is having feelings or thoughts of seeking reassurance, comfort, safety or closeness with your T are a normal part of the process, and there will be times when they are intense and other times when they aren't. It's an extremely difficult thing to do, especially when you feel strongly -but if you can somehow acknowledge this with your T, raise it in a gentle or simple way, or ask a question about it - 'Is the fact that I look forward to seeing you a problem' or something like that, can mean that at least its in the room between you.

If there are things you can do for yourself - simple thing that are reassuring, then I'd turn the volume up on these too - take care,

[iheartjacques]

My T won't see me more than once a fortnight, or extra only during a really bad time. He says it creates dependency and I have to do the work in between sessions.
I guess the real test will be when I stop seeing him. I haven't had a good ending to any T yet. the only other good one I had suddenly stopped after two years. I was so hurt for a while but eventually got used to not seeing her every week. I still think about her sometimes and remember things she said. That was 9 years ago

Creates dependency? That's a rather blinkers statement. Sounds like someone had their own issues around that.

[BayBrony]

That honestly sounds pretty normal if you are dealing with childhood issues at least.
Lately my T and I have been discussing in depth how much I miss her in between sessions. It's OK. It's normal. I still need to be an adult and live my adult life and all but that doesn't make it wrong to feel that way