T Says She Cannot Help Me

You really think there are no other intellectual introverted men or women in middle age or whatever who would undertake any activity of friendship ever? That's statistically hugely unlikely.

However, you're fixating on the specifics, which is not the point. I would play computer games, but maybe your interests lie more in carpentry, or macrame, or stamp collecting, or tropical fish keeping, or saving stray cats, or fantasy football. There's groups for all those things where sexuality is completely irrelevant and where you could experience the company of other people in a pleasant fashion.

Thank you for calling my suggestions naive though, I don't think I've been accused of that in a while Quite a compliment. (That probably sounds sarcastic, it's not. I really mean that.)

However, putting the naivety aside, I doubt the issue is really a lack of activities. I do have some experience feeling alienated and socially ostracised and whatnot. Good therapy does help, in my experience. So I hope you can get DBT, it sounds like it might be super for you.

Tell me more about your surliness problem . . .

At least she was honest with you.

DH is in his late 50s, geeky, introverted and we have both found our people on various internet communities through our interest in different types of gaming. I'm not saying this is you but once DH stopped acting like a special snowflake and really allowed himself to be open to new experiences without trying to label them or assume he knew better based on limited past situations he found the quality of his interactions improved dramatically. it can be frustrating to deal with someone who wants help (or gives the appearance by seeking it out) but shoots down any suggestion or idea they didn't generate. it's emotionally exhausting and gloomy. frankly it's the kind of thing that makes others want to keep their distance. I say this as a queer woman who has at times identified as asexual. my orientation wasn't off putting but my stridency was.

I wish i could help, but im kinda in the same boat myself. Altho i do have a t who i think can help. I leave every session hopeful but i dont seem to advance much. Optimism is just another word for denial, according to a recent study.

Did you try PFFLAG? I know it is for family and friends but some gays attend just to be in company of others. No one there cares if you have sex.

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I met with the T today. I was referred to this clinic because my prior T thought I needed DBT. However, the interviewer who did my intake deemed that regular therapy would suffice. I disagreed but was powerless.

Today I raised the issue of DBT with the T. She agreed that DBT was the way to go and said she would speak with the director of the clinic about transferring me into their program. I will find out more next week. It could take a while to get into the program.

Thanks for everyone's comments. Since I was forced to give up tennis due to chronic injuries and arthritis (both feet), I have struggled to find new interests. I like to be outdoors but can't be very active. Even cycling bothers my feet. I've never been good at much and have below average social skills, especially conversationally. Making matters worse, my confidence is very low. Another complication: due to epilepsy and dyslexia, I am unable to drive.