I was chatting to T about something recently and T said, depends how comfortable you were with mess.

That sentence has stuck in my mind. T's been away so not been able to continue it. But I'm seeing that topic everywhere at the moment. With me, and with others I have visited.

Someone I recently visited even had they're fridge magnets or lined up neat & tidy which made me think this person isn't comfortable with mess.

I'm sort of middle ground with it. Fairly tidy, laziness stopping me from being really tidy. But I realise in not comfortable with mess and want to be. I also feel very aware of being judged on my mess by those who are also uncomfortable with it, but perhaps lack the insight therapy can some on the topic

Hurry up back T! I want to talk about mess :-)

[ScarletPimpernel]

I'm not very comfortable with mess either. I am a perfectionist and try to keep everything in order, looking clean and organized. Even myself. I guess this is similar to the "window of tolerance"? My tolerance for mess is low, and I need to learn to widen my window.

[LonesomeTonight]

I'm a perfectionist in many areas of my life, but keeping a neat, organized house is definitely not one of them. Our place is a total mess right now. When I work in an office, my desk is always messy. Clearly I'm very tolerant of mess :-)

However, oddly, I have OCD that mainly centers around fears of contamination (my T said it's a weird combination--that usually people with that type of OCD keep their places very neat and tidy). So I wash my hands all the time. I keep the kitchen and bathrooms generally sanitary. But there's clutter everywhere! Our 4-year-old certainly contributes to that, but it was messy before we had her. And I only rarely do things like dusting.

And I worry about being judged on my mess. No drop-in visitors allowed!

[AllHeart]

I used to be a neat freak. Organized to a "t". Never late, always early. **** retentive in all aspects of living, if you will. When I started my slow descent into this black hole of depression h*** 10 years ago, I started getting messy. Housework started piling up slowly but surely, organization was lacking, and never would I arrive anywhere early. Fast forward to now -- I'm the exact opposite. My house is nasty! Organization? What is that? And rest assured, if I need to be somewhere at a certain time, I'll be late. Everything in my life has become a mess, including me. Argh!!!

[AllHeart]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

And I only rarely do things like dusting.

Haven't done it for so long, I completely forgot about even having to dust! It is so time for me to hire a cleaner!!

[Cinnamon_Stick]

I have OCD. I have always been a neat freak though. My house is always clean and spotless. I hate cleaning but I can't function if my house is a mess. My husband is a neat freak as well so our place is always spotless. You could eat off our floor.

[Shaly78]

Pull out the statistics on everyone who is a mess, get clarification on the statement let her know how it was un called for then move on. Decide what is a deal breaker when it comes to changing T then move on.

My mess stresses me. At times of stress I chuck things out so I have less stuff. I wish it was all neat. Despite that wish, when I have free time I do yoga or go jogging, tidying is a low priority.

[PinkFlamingo99]

I have a big problem in the other direction. I am living in a state that's so bad there's only one room I will use for me and the dogs. The rest is unsanitary to areally bad degree, some rooms I have not entered in 8 months. I'm surprised I am not sick from how bad it is.

Just as an example

Possible trigger:

my bathroom isn't one of the worst rooms and obviously I have to use it, but it's covered in bloody towels and tshirts that have been lying on the floor and attracting bugs. The blood from self harm episodes. They are damp from getting in and out of the shower

Pdoc and T say it's just another example of neglecting and hurting myself. I don't treat myself like I have any value. I told T that I am lazy and disgusting, and she said it's a sign of serious mental illness and I need to start telling myself I'm sick, not disgusting. She keeps saying I can learn to take care of myself but sometimes it just seems hopeless.

[neverending]

I used to be messy now I pretty much keep things in order but have a hard time actually cleaning. I find myself feeling more depressed if my house is messy.