Do talking about Ts feelings is boundary crossing?

I think it's okay and even good and helpful if T says what he feels like attachment, that he thinks of client, cares for client etc. I think its also good if T says that client made him sad or hurt or mad.

But I'm wondering if T says he thinks about kissing and finds client attractive is it boundary crossing or not if he would never act on it?

What your T said about his/her feelings for you?

P.S. I'm just very confused because now my T says he can't tell me anything because it's boundary crossing and he says that he never said anything like this but he said, maybe his feelings has changed or maybe he lied to me when he said he thinks of me that way or maybe he simply forgot it.

Talking about the therapist's feelings is a boundary crossing in my opinion. I am not saying a therapist cannot express a feeling, but talking about their feelings should not then become the focus of the session. If a therapist says s/he cares, I wouldn't say that's a boundary crossing if there is a therapeutic purpose to it.

If either of my therapists told me they thought about kissing me or find me attractive, I would be out of there like a bat out of hell. Doesn't matter if they would act on it or not. I'm not in therapy to meet new friends and potential lovers.

It sounds to me like your therapist is either playing games or has belatedly realized he made some mistakes. (I don't know your full story.)

My t told me of his feelings for me; I kept a (long) list of things he shouldnt have said to me; if you want to know; you can pm me.

A couple of comments: "You are in my heart and in my head." "If I were not married, I would probably go for it."

A tricky one.

On the whole, a T should not volunteer feelings. And yet I sometimes felt that silence as rejection.

Anything sexual is boundary crossing. It has no place within the therapeutic framework. There are rules and guidelines for a reason and any T who crosses this line is simply not ethical.

Lunatic soul, I agree with what others have written (I am a straight man and my clinical psychologist is a straight woman).

If she ever expressed a sexual interest in me (jumping across a major relationship boundary - she never has), I would sack her on the spot.

Counter-transference is never a basis for a productive therapeutic relationship.

A therapist verbalizing their feelings for you in a personal, romantic, sexual way is a boundary crossing and possibly even a boundary violation. In the U.S. a T can be reported for talking like this to a client.

Thinks about kissing a client? That is very much a boundary crossing. As others have said, any sexual remarks directed to or about the client is highly unethical.

Thanks for opinions.
I was better when he expressed his feelings for me but now Im wondering did he lied to me to save me when he said all of those sweet words because I was suicidal or did he said true but changed his mind or maybe realized he did wrong or maybe didn't like me anymore.
I know it doesnt matter because he wants only therapy with me.

But it does matter. If he crosses a boundary, even once, it's easier for him to do it again.

As for why he said the things he did, I have no idea, but I can't imagine it's good therapeutic practice to say anything emotionally extreme to someone in severe crisis.

It doesn't what the justification might be. It was wrong.

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This is exactly why a T should not cross the boundary lines (one of the reasons anyway). It brings about doubt and confusion to the client, causing more undue distress.

Did he lie? Should he do this? How do I feel about his feelings towards me?

All of these are giant distractions from the work on your life that you came into therapy to do.

And it is an entertainment for your T, for which you are paying him.

In my view, this will end in tears.

Just my opinion.

Your therapist defiantly crossed a boundary with you. I would be running away fast. Therapy is not for the therapist to share there sexual feelings.

That is plain horrible. He is out of his mind.

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I liked when he crossed them, I have read here that Ts have different boundaries.
I felt so good when he hugged me and told me what he feels and now I feel so rejected but he says its because of boundaries. I think if the line is already crossed then its not okay to rebuild these walls. It makes me think that he doesnt feel these warms feelings for me and lies that its because of boundaries.
Thats the problem. I think it would be better if we stayed friends

If you've read about different boundaries on here, then you also know it's the therapists with looser boundaries that usually cause clients the most pain. And who usually get complaints filed against them.

What your therapist did was offer you short-term comfort with no boundaries instead of long-term support behind a good set of boundaries. I don't know if he's lying, and I understand it is painful when a therapist suddenly discovers boundaries, but the lines you mention - especially sexual comments - should not have been crossed in the first place.

The fact that it feels good when therapist crosses boundaries such as offers inappropriate physical contact or makes sexual and romantic comments doesn't make it ok. They are professionals and it's their job to remain professionals no matter how clients feel (clients feelings are important but just because client wants to inappropriately hug or kiss or make sexual suggestions it doesn't mean therapist needs to go for it).

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It is unfortunate you have to go through this. If this T admits to wanting to kiss you, what has he not admitted to? Do you really think he just wants to kiss you? I'm sure he's had plenty more on his mind and that is why he can no longer hug you, period. Afterall, hugging you might put him at risk for stirring up his sexual feelings towards you.

Your T has crossed all kinds of lines he can't uncross. And he did it all at your expense. As hard as it is, you might want to consider dropping this T like hotcakes and finding a new T that practices and holds ethical boundaries.