[ShantheArtist23]

Hey guys!
So... The past couple months have been kind of rough. Went inpatient 3 times and then went into residential care for OCD (which the OCD is pretty well taken care of after the month I was there). My problem is that there's one thing I always seem to run in to...
I go through periods where I'm totally fine, nobody would suspect a thing wrong about me. But then, quite more often, I've been going through periods where I feel like I'm invincible, I don't need any sleep, and I feel like I have powers, and sometimes at night I'll hear voices and I'll see visions in my head. Now, in the past 3 or 4 years they've been treating me (or trying to) for Depression, Anxiety, and now OCD. But... Can you hear voices with OCD? I know there's intrusive thoughts, which I do get and have, but what about the part about the powers, voices and impulsivity? I feel like I could fly and jump in front of cars and be fine. The other day I thought there were aliens around me and clowns were coming to get me. It's not like I thought it though, I knew it. I knew there were aliens and clowns coming to get me. I still think there's aliens around me kind of. I keep fading in and out of reality, and sometimes I get butterflies in my stomach because I think that I'm gonna walk out of the house and go show people my powers. This has been racking my brain for the past couple of days, but before I would hear the voices at night, and after I started this new medication, when I would listen to music I would hear voices, like mumbling in the background and there were no people around me, and one voice I could make out would say "Help me" over and over again. The spirits were communicating to me through song or something.
What is wrong with me?? Or have I done this damage to myself... nobody believes me, despite all the hospital stays and residential for a month, I'm still ready to jump in front of a car just to show people I'm not kidding. Doctors tell me it's intrusive thoughts, but... I don't know. Sorry for the long lost, I just dontknow how to tell people this stuff. Thanks...

[Stava]

I have some ideas to share. I'd like to preface it by saying that you know yourself better than anyone and if what I say doesn't feel right please disregard.

I've studied core shamanism for around a decade and it's possible that the voices and sensing clowns and such could be you sensing things that really are there.

To get them to stop, if you'd like to try it you can ask that your loving, compassionate guardian angels to protect you from anything that isn't for your highest good. You can start talking to your guardian angels instead of listening to the unpleasant beings. Ask your guardians for healing often.

State the intention that you only allow helpful, compassionate, loving beings near you.

As far as the feeling of having powers it's possible that an unhelpful ghost or earth bound spirit is talking you into believing these things.

The good news is that these experiences could be trying to show you that you're a healer and you can do a lot of good in this world.

I'm happy to share resources and more ideas if you think it would be helpful. I'm sorry you're going through a difficult time.

[divine1966]

Not wanting to sleep and thinking you have superpowers sound like mania symptoms. I do not know enough about voices and hallucination. I am shocked doctors can't properly diagnose you. Keep insisting they diagnose you correctly.

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[LonesomeTonight]

I was also thinking mania, so maybe bipolar? I think there's such a thing as bipolar with psychotic symptoms, which could include hearing voices. Maybe try asking on the Bipolar subforum? If doctors can't get your diagnosis right, then you're probably not getting the right treatment. Could you try getting another opinion?

Also, I have OCD, though my biggest issue is generalized anxiety and panic disorder, plus some depressive episodes. My T and p-doc will sometimes try to pin things on the OCD that I don't think are really it, though there is a lot of overlap between anxiety and OCD. I think sometimes once they think you have a diagnosis, they try to pin everything on that, rather than considering it could be something else instead of or in addition to your primary diagnosis. Which is why it might help to see someone new.

[ruh roh]

If these things started happening after the medication, I would want to know if any of it is from meds. The invincibility does sound like mania, which can happen from anti depressants for those who are sensitive to it (happened to me), then they call it bipolar II, but who knows. I would talk to a prescriber or get a second opinion.

[ShantheArtist23]

It's just crazy because teah, you'd think a doctor would have told me something by now. They always just would say "Mood disorder unspecified" because of all the crap that my mom would tell them. I swear, one of the best things about turning 18 in the mental health world is that I don't have to be forced to give consent for anybody! But I believe in and out that I have to go on either a mission or adventure (feels more like mission) and I have to grab something out of a street lamp/light. I told my dogs today that the government was gonna get us. "Hear that, guys? The governments gonna get us, we're all gonna die" I think I told them. I saw something online about something called Schiz OCD, and it's where you're so afraid of becoming schizophrenic that you read all the symptoms on the Internet and then believe your starting to have them. I'm not afraid I have it, to me it's the only thing that makes sense. I looked up Bipolar and it didn't feel like me. I'm like freaking paranoid to the point where I'm about to stab people because they're gonna hurt me. I went out the other day believing my life was a wide screen movie and everyone was watching me. But then the fact that I'm schizophrenic most likely means that I'm not... Doctors are screwing me up.

[ShantheArtist23]

I'm not even afraid of people hurting me, I think people are poisoning me with something. They're all glaring at me and everybody is literally just out to get me.

[NowhereUSA]

Just going off of here and not being a doctor at all, maybe look at schizoaffective disorder (different from schizophrenia). I have a friend that was being treated for bipolar for years only to finally get a schizoaffective disorder diagnosis and thus far treatment seems to be helping.

From NAMI: https://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Ment...ctive-Disorder

[Bipolar Warrior]

I agree that it sounds like schizoaffective disorder, because there are parts of your description that definitely sound like mania, but I think the way you're describing your psychosis rules out bipolar disorder. And the mood swings suggest that it's not schizophrenia.

I really hope you can find a competent doctor to help you figure this out and treat it accordingly. It sounds like a really scary thing you're going through! It's frustrating, but sometimes we have to do the work ourselves and then explain it to those who are supposed to be the experts. I have experienced this myself.

Don't give up until someone listens to you and takes you seriously.

[Suraya]

I was also thinking mania, so maybe bipolar? I think there's such a thing as bipolar with psychotic symptoms, which could include hearing voices. Maybe try asking on the Bipolar subforum? If doctors can't get your diagnosis right, then you're probably not getting the right treatment. Could you try getting another opinion?

That was my thought too.