The Couch 102, Buckle My Shoe!

Over here we have 2 tv vets one is Dr Harry and the other is just Chris. Dr Harry is a twit. Chris isn't. Dr Harry operates on goldfish, Chris is a bit more realistic. Glad to see you back.

Yeah, I'm back from Africa. It was absolutely amazing. Trying to stay off PC. Thank you for thinking of me.

So good to hear from you Mastodon!! Glad you had an amazing trip. Maybe if we keep your spot warm you'll come back soon. . .

The puppy thinks running through piles of leaves is the best thing ever.

Hey couch. I woke up this morning with a monster of a headache, along with the distinct impression that it's because i am somehow shutting down my own dream system. If that's even possible. I'm angry at or about t and i don't want dream insights or something. Maybe I'm just weird... I don't know. I want to cancel t tomorrow but know i shouldn't. Meh. I need to just get over myself. Have a good day/night couch!

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Hey everyone.

I had a meeting this afternoon with my T, family T, my pdoc and my parents. We managed to agree on a few goals and how we are going to try and reach them. Next meeting like this is in a month. Wasn't an easy meeting, T said some stuff I'd rather she not say but it's usually like that.
I was fairly touched - T came in on her day off and my pdoc came to my T's (and the family T's) office location, which is a 45 minute drive from where he holds practice.

And we (parents and I) went out for dinner afterwards. Which was pleasant.

Things with my T are so intense right now. I lurk but can't say much.

Just pop in every once in a while so we can give you a hug!

Sounds like it went well, even though difficult.

Yeah, it was. Thanks for the hug.

I'm still mad at myself for not accepting that moment with my T last week. :'( It felt like a knife when she said it won't come back and it's in the past and I just need to be okay with that. I can't be okay with it. I want to hear. I want the moment back. It hurts still to know that I threw it away. I couldn't listen and I missed out. I want to run around like a 5 year old and scream and shout and throw a fit, only because I'm mad at myself. Oh, well I guess. Such is life. She's right that exact moment won't ever be able to be replicated but I so desperately wish it could be......

((((((Ellahmae)))))) It sounds like you're grieving, could that be right?
I'd beg you not to be mad at yourself, but I know that isn't something you can just turn on and off, so I won't. But please don't allow the feeling to turn into destructive behaviour. That'd be a waste of YOU. Because you don't deserve that.

Can you grieve for a brief moment in time that just happened? I just want that moment in time back. I want to do it differently. It's stupid. I didn't let her say what she wanted to say in that moment, and I realize therapy is for me and not her but I needed to hear it and I stupidly said no. I asked her if she would tell me what she was going to say and she said that moment is now gone. It hurts. It hurts badly. It's confusing. I'm an adult. It shouldn't matter. I wish it was something one could just turn off, I really do maybe if I keep going I'll learn how.

((EllahMae))

That moment won't come back, but there will be other moments. And next time you'll be ready.

Sure you can.

Well, my crazy soda addiction has been replaced by a crazy coffee addiction. Black coffee has to be better than all the crap they put in soda that I was drinking...errrr thats what I am telling myself.
Anyway it is nap time! Yay!
Hope everyone is having a decent day.

I missed what happened but honestly, I would find such a reply from my T patronizing. Sometimes you're not ready to hear something. "The moment" what are we, in a Julia Roberts rom-com?

Maybe it's my childhood with frequent moves and whatnot but I've found that we can generate our own moments - it's about accepting the moment as it is whether it's the "perfect rom-com-eque" moment or it's the "I'm ready right now and there are semi's honking in the background" moment.

I'd probably call my T a twatwaffle if he said something like that to me.

*coats foot something sugary so as to be ready to put foot in mouth because she doesn't know the situation*

She's in the camp of your response, we make our own moments, "you weren't ready and what happened happened it's okay, don't cling to that lost bit of time, there will be others". However, to me it's not okay and I can't move past the cliche "movie moment" which I need to and another one will be created and will be genuine. It wouldn't be genuine if she just "recreated it because I think I now I feel ready" when in reality I'm probably not. She's the least patronizing person I've ever met.

Excedrin migraine and mountain dew.... The headache is a dull throb for now. Maybe its not dream suppression somuch as having to act all extroverted this week working w the new hires. I dunno.

Hugs to all who want them.

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Is this just after you have raked them up?

DD1 says her T made her cry today, told her she's ready to let go of the victim mentality and begin living a real life now.

If I'd said that it would have been WWIII so it's good T said it. We'll wait and see what becomes of it.

Good night couch!

Me too!

There's a lot of puppy inside me.

There is probably a lot of older cat in me.

Well that's good to know. Movie moments require an insane amount of make up, lighting, and an entire crew I'm glad she's not really patronizing.

I'm 're-living' some old stuff because of all that's going on now with the stbx and, well, everything else...
I'm missing previous T again. I feel like I've gone through a breakup but with no memories of 'good times' - the sweetness of a relationship, to counter the pain. (Hell, I even have good memories of the stbx, and he was the king of duds...)
Ugh. It wasn't real. It was just ET, all in my head. Why does it feel so real?