Client/session differences

Thanks for the input....

It's hard to explain.... but my thinking isn't about her liking others more than me. It's more, I think, finding something ELSE to be more critical of myself over....seems I'm always looking for something when I don't even realize it. When I hear laughter and joking, I think "jeez, I wish I could be that way," but I don't think of it as she "likes me less." The other T's office shares a wall with hers. It's like she can read my mind...I don't think I've ever reacted in any way, but when we're in session and I hear a party going on next door, she'll tell me everyone handles pain differently, and just because it sounds like there's a party going on, doesn't mean it's all fun and games. She said if their life was perfect, they wouldn't be here.

The client before me must be funny, because my T is generally laughing with her, though I can never hear actual words or anything. I don't really feel bad about it because I think my T has a good sense of humor, and I've not been in a funny mood since I started seeing her. I am glad that others get the same value and humor out of therapy that I do.

What you hear is the loud parts: the laughing and the shouting. What you don't hear is the whispered fears, the quiet sobbing and the awkward silences.

I have never heard another session going on while in my session or on the waiting area thankfully. I have times in my sessions, although rarely lately, where we have our moments of laughing. But I'm quiet and reserved, so I wouldn't expect anyone to hear anything from one of our sessions.

It can create a situation where the therapist thinks a client laughing with them means something that it does not, leading the therapist to take actions based upon the mistaken belief as to what the activity meant in a larger picture. For example, thinking the laughter meant the client was then vulnerable enough or bonded or attached enough to be willing or able to handle something the client was not or that the therapist thought meant they were closer to the client/understood the client than the client thought or wanted or was true.

Up until a few weeks ago, it was mostly me crying and about 10% joking around, etc. the last two sessions have been me crying 100% and on the verge of hysteria. This went on for 25 mins over time yesterday (I don't pay, public hospital). She was trying to explain things in a way that I coukd leave there less upset but nothing helped.

I don't really worry about how other people are in therapy. I think people are who they are in therapy or outside. I laugh with my t a lot because that's just how I am. I laugh a lot with people and I am very animated in general and I am pretty sure people can hear me in the hallway because I have very loud voice. I
Also cry when sad topic comes up.

But that doesn't mean I have some unique bond etc it is just how I am as a person. If you are in general more quiet or , shy or reserved then that's who you are. I wouldn't worry about others and what they do in therapy. You are there for you. Not for others.

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I can totally relate. Usually when I go there is no one there because it's during the week in the middle of the day. But during the odd times that there is someone before me I hear volume too. I hear laughter and sometimes I hear crying (which scares me lol). Then I think about my sessions which are much quieter. I also feel like it's sort of the age too. I'm 20 and the other clients I see in the office are most probably 25+. So I guess maybe they have an easier time talking with one another and share experiences. But thats just a guess. My sessions have laughter too but I doubt anyone can hear it from the outside !

I've never been able to hear a prior session so I've never had to compare against something else, but I do often worry I'm a bore. I feel like I am a chore to talk to, especially when I am triggered and I turtle up and get mute and weepy but I don't cry... I've lamented that even at $100 an hour no one wants to talk to me. At the same time my T has always said he enjoys talking to me. I don't know. I'm very fragile, that's what I think.

My therapist laughs a lot with me. I'm also sure I annoy him at times too. But I never thought to compare myself with other clients, because really, who gives a toss? We're not in a competition to be America's Next Top Therapy Client.

Some people are more serious than others, some people are dealing with more serious issues than others, and let's face it, if you're on the therapy equivalent of a rack you just won't get off and every session is painful, then why would you be laughing?

I am sure a lot of therapy clients are a boring chore to talk to. I'm sure I'm boring and a chore sometimes too. But that's why you pay them, and that's the job they signed up for. You're allowed to bore them, and you're supposed to be work. That's literally what's happening there. They're at work. It's their job.

It's weird to me that people would waste time caring about how the therapist feels about them, or whether they are fascinating or not, when therapy is only slightly less effective at going through money than just tossing it on a bonfire. The expense and the work of therapy means that frankly, I don't care if the therapist is having an awesome time or not. I'm there to get stuff sorted.

Some people use humour as a cover for pain. So laughing patients aren't necessarily any happier than you.

I think for some people, worrying about how they come across to other people can bring up issues they might feel a need to work on, and sorting that out can be useful.

I don't think it's weird at all that some people care about how their therapist (or anyone else) feels about them. Some people are more sensitive to the feelings of the people who surround them than others. Everyone is different, and everyone is entitled to have space for their own feelings.

I have DID (multiple personalities). My T is different with each one of us- she laughs with some of us, always very serious with some of us, some of us she cuddles with, some of us sit across with her; some of us joke with her a lot.
We get jealous of each other in the same ways everyone mentioned in these posts. Which is kinda silly, because its all "us", but we are separate enough from each other to want what the others have.