[Walking Man]

Does being in therapy make you feel less capable? Or, to put it another way, most people in therapy are there because they need help of some sort. In the same way that going to your regular doctor when you are sick might make you feel even more sick (Like, "I must be really sick because I'm in the doctor's office."), does seeing a therapist undermine your confidence?

I think your T should help you to be more confident, but I'm not sure it always works that way

[AnxiousGirl]

100%. I'm a huge perfectionist so asking for help is definitely not something I do ( parents pretty much made me go to therapy ). I felt so stupid and even now I do. It has gotten better and I have made a lot of progress but in some sessions I just sit there and think like wow why am I here? And it's a huge blow to my confidence.

[Walking Man]

I am a perfectionist too. When I was still in HS my mom took me to a therapist, but she wasn't forthcoming about it. I thought I was going to see a sleep doctor, and I found myself in a psychiatrists office! I found it very threatening. I don't think I went for more than a few weeks. It was actually kind of scary. From time to time I saw a counselor when I was in college, nothing heavy duty. It usually made me depressed (more than I usually was). I think it was the vulnerability, combined with the feeling that there was something deeply wrong with me. Last year I realized that a lot of my problems were because my mom didn't give me the kind of affection and emotional support that I needed growing up. Then I decided to go to therapy for about a month, before I had to move. I still got depressed afterward. I started therapy again this summer.

I'm not getting depressed afterward anymore, but I'm starting to think that there is really something wrong with me. My T hasn't seen me at my best, I've been very depressed. I'm sure she doesn't know how capable I am, or what potential I have. That's only to be expected. However, I'm concerned that she wants me to accept a "lesser" version of myself than I should. Maybe she's right though, I may need to accept that I can't do certain things. She wants me to accept myself for who I am and value my strengths apart from what I accomplish. That seems good, except it implies that I should give up on a lot. Then I look at how hard I've tried, and all the things I have accomplished, and feel like I'm a failure in the end in spite of it all. I just can't accept my current situation. I don't want to feel like a sick, flawed, dependent person for the rest of my life.

[ThingWithFeathers]

Being in T makes me more feel secure. I was so insecure when I started, and had been all my life. I feel more comfortable within myself. I've been taught how to care for myself, how to regulate my emotions, how to find compassion for myself.

So no, I feel more secure than ever before.

[ruh roh]

I feel stronger and better as a result of therapy. And I usually feel better if I get medical treatment for an illness or injury, too. Maybe it's a question of whether or not you identify with the condition that brought you to seek help or whether you identify with your intended outcome.

The only time I have felt worse was when I had to use a mh clinic. The stigma of patients and the way the staff regarded (or disregarded) people was palpable, so in that case it was hard not to take on that identity. I don't use that service anymore, or see a pdoc, so a lot of my problems on that end were solved by not seeking help from those people.

[laxer12]

Originally Posted by ThingWithFeathers

Being in T makes me more feel secure. I was so insecure when I started, and had been all my life. I feel more comfortable within myself. I've been taught how to care for myself, how to regulate my emotions, how to find compassion for myself.

So no, I feel more secure than ever before.

I would definitely agree with this. However, there is still something that makes me feel like something is wrong with me because I go to counseling. I'm not sure what it is...

[Cinnamon_Stick]

Therapy has made me more secure with myself, in my marriage, my choices, my past.

I think earlier on I felt somewhat self-conscious about going to therapy (not that other people knew; it wasn't something I really talked about to others) and that probably felt sort of insecure. But I honestly was probably very insecure in the first place, so I don't really think any insecurity I had was really therapy-related. As I moved forward and gained better insight, stronger and healthier skills, etc. that feeling of insecurity bagan to dissipate.

[missbella]

I found therapy infantilizing and pathologizing, like I was my therapists' inevitable inferior. They reinforced that superiority in myriad subtle ways.

T's are a vessel.
They can't make you feel anyway at all. We do that. The process of engaging in the work is where the confidence is built.

[Walking Man]

Originally Posted by _Mouse

T's are a vessel.
They can't make you feel anyway at all. We do that. The process of engaging in the work is where the confidence is built.

Theoretically no one can make you feel anything, but they do. That's normal. I agree about the work, at least that's the way it should be. I think it's great that most of you feel better from therapy. That's what I want.

I feel very alienated from myself right now. The last year has been terrible. I've lost all sense of normalcy and continuity in my life. Physically I can't do some things I used to. Obviously there are some things I have to accept. I'm not sure though that accepting my failures as a permanent condition is a good idea. Nor am I sure that pathologizing yet another aspect of my person is a good idea. I mean I have been depressed recently, and have struggled with it throughout my life. I know that. But that doesn't mean I should give up. Right now I have reason to be upset. I think I should be able to accept myself and my present situation without giving up on all my hopes and dreams.

My T is certainly partly right that I need to accept some things. In spite of everything, I think maybe I need someone else. I appreciate her personally I just don't agree with her philosophy. As far as therapy goes, I imagine its like a lot of things, it has to be working for you.

With my benign brain tumor, and now with my back, I realize every day that I have limitations. They can't be thought or ignored away. However I won't let them determine my sense of self. Part of your sense of self is what you actually do, and what you want. I know I'll probably never be able to do certain things, or have certain things. "Accepting" my life as it is now doesn't make any sense. I accept I have a brain tumor. I don't accept that it's ok for me to be in the situation I'm in.

[precaryous]

Therapy (with the right therapist) helps me feel more secure.

T is a stabilizing force. I use therapy as part of my broad base of support. I feel the security of her presence....that T is there to help if/when things get rocky for me. T also feels comforting during those times.

She provides good feedback, has excellent ideas I would not thought of on my own, t is calming "normalizing" presence, she helps organize my chaos.

Right now she is helping me grieve my childhood losses, my mother's death...at the same time she is helping me navigate people in my real life who could/would derail or destabilize my life. She is helping me with guilt and shame. T helps me with the emotionally devastating flashbacks of past child and adult traumas.

T is good at helping me making decisions...good at helping me reframe issues...good at helping me look out for my best interest.

T sees me as an equal person...not better than me... I don't feel infantilized by her. She shows me how strong and powerful I am.

T has only as much power as I give her.

[divine1966]

Therapy doesn't change how I feel about myself

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk