[Eleny]

It may be narrow minded, but when looking for a new T I always judge them based on their picture (along with their experience obviously) Does anyone else do this?

[newday2020]

Originally Posted by Eleny

It may be narrow minded, but when looking for a new T I always judge them based on their picture (along with their experience obviously) Does anyone else do this?

I did this today. I wonder how accurate doing this is........maybe not so,
One seemed too young and pretty........2 others were possibilities but weren't available. the 3rd one I made an appt. with. She looked a little harsh hope it was a mis-judgment. I feel pretty nervous about going..I keep rehearsing what I am going to say. I have to wait 12 days till the appt. I hope I can relax and distract myself but I probably will be doing too much thinking........what will she think of me??? will she feel sorry for me??

[AnaWhitney]

Haha yes I did this. I guess I need to see a picture to know if I'm going to be comfortable with this person. I didn't want any nasty surprises when I walked in for my first session. It does seem judgemental even though I know it has very little to do with how attractive the T is, it's more about what my gut tells me when I look at their photo.

[stopdog]

I look at their pictures to make sure they are not perky looking and to make sure they are older than I am

[newday2020]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I look at their pictures to make sure they are not perky looking and to make sure they are older than I am

LOL......that was funny. I know what you mean about being too perky.

Older could mean more experienced.

[wotchermuggle]

Definitely, but I tried someone I was totally against mentally, and it was actually the best choice. Go figure.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by susanemily

LOL......that was funny. I know what you mean about being too perky.

Older could mean more experienced.

It could -but it is more, for me, that I would simply not deal well with one younger than I am.

[Suraya]

I would if I could, but none of the therapists in my health plan have websites or pictures online. It was frustrating to have to pick one just by name only.

Even years ago, my t did not look anything in person like the photo on her website. In the photo she looks really fancy and sort of snobby. In real like she is so sweet and friendly, and down to earth.

[laxer12]

I definitely do. My therapist is part of a practice and based on the pictures on the website, I would probably only talk to 3 out the 15ish. My T doesn't have the best picture on there but it is professional and doesn't look like a profile picture...

[ruh roh]

Yes. Absolutely. I don't want anyone who wears a lot of make up or has a phony smile. Also, someone older than I am. Pictures are deceiving, but I can rule certain things out right away that I wouldn't be able to deal with. Mine has several pictures, all with a great, natural smile. Same as in real life.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

Yes, I have. I need to be comfortable with someone.

[missbella]

I'm in a real life group with a therapist, one of the vainglorious, condescending, delusional human beings I've ever met. She literally tells you how compassionate she is--then snipes and swaggers. Her photo makes it appear that she spends hours on her daily grooming. It's fair warning in this case.

[iheartjacques]

If I'd seen their picture beforehand, it would've been nice. But whatever. I get along with most people.

[nervous puppy]

I absolutely do this and do this everywhere! I try to determine their personality from their faces. I rule out people (women) who look like they had their picture taken by "Glamour Shots" or spend way too much time (and money) on hair and make-up. I'm convinced that someone "like that" just won't "get" me. Or, at least that's what I've always told myself, so I believe it.
Stereotypes are wrong, but it's a hard habit to break.

[newday2020]

Originally Posted by wotchermuggle

Definitely, but I tried someone I was totally against mentally, and it was actually the best choice. Go figure.

Isn't that interesting..........so glad it is working out for you!!

[newday2020]

Originally Posted by missbella

I'm in a real life group with a therapist, one of the vainglorious, condescending, delusional human beings I've ever met. She literally tells you how compassionate she is--then snipes and swaggers. Her photo makes it appear that she spends hours on her daily grooming. It's fair warning in this case.

OMG I guess you are getting a real education on that one.LOL

I've come to recognize that people's posed headshots rarely, if ever, tell the whole story (I'm not sure they tell any of the story actually). They may be old photos. They are posed. They generally aren't the way they dress each day to actually work. They are stilted, one-dimensional depictions of very three-dimensional individuals. They don't depict personality, voice, mannerisms . . . I've never had photos to look at before I chose my therapists, and when I did see their "official" photo at a later date, quite honestly, they didn't look like themselves to me at all. So I'm glad I was allowed to really get to know the flesh and blood therapists rather than having judged them and perhaps excluded them based on a photo. I would have missed out on several fantastic therapists.

[newday2020]

Originally Posted by laxer12

I definitely do. My therapist is part of a practice and based on the pictures on the website, I would probably only talk to 3 out the 15ish. My T doesn't have the best picture on there but it is professional and doesn't look like a profile picture...

The T i made an appointment with looks professional and I associate her with the clinic I go to for my regular dr. I've had good experience with her.
She will probably be a nice person.....not fancy but down to earth...

Isn't it interesting how we get impressions on people.

[newday2020]

I'm enjoying this thread.

[Aviza]

I look at pictures, I like to go for experience looking people, but they have to have a kind, knowledgeable look about them. Right now my therapist was someone picked by insurance, a pretty, young woman. But so far I really like her. I at least know she went to school and studied something I didn't. Up front she's like if we aren't meshing I won't be hurt if you find a different one. She's cool, because she removed the guilt. But I'm staying, at least for now.

[peaches100]

Yes, I need them to look a certain way, but I don't know why. In scanning through pictures of about 100 t's once, I only saw 3 that I felt somehow I might click with. That's not how I got my t though. I originally picked a t out of a list with no pictures. Then, when she quit taking my insurance, she referred me to my current t. Funny thing, though, if her picture had been in that list of 100 pictures, I think I would have selected her as one of the three potential "clickers."

It's amazing how good I am at judging how well I will get along with someone just by looking at their pic. I looked for a male T who was older than me, but not way older. He was also smiling in his pic. Just seemed to be a warm, caring person.

[RedSun]

Yes, definitely.
My first (very brief) T had no pic, big mistake, didn't click for lots of reasons and as soon as I saw her i knew she wasn't right for me.
So I looked at lots of Ts after that, and only ones with a photo on the website. I choose my T cos things about her photo suggested we would have some similarity. It was the right choice but, interestingly, she doesn't look like her photo! When I met her, I was like 'well who the **** are you?'

I helped a couple of friends look for Ts recently and we found the website/nice photo/good hair combo works well.

[SkyscraperMeow]

I stay away from older ladies with blonde bob haircuts or very short or perhaps curly dyed psuedo red hair (not bright enough to be vibrant, sort of dark and browny, it's like they wanted to be edgy, but didn't want to go all the way.)

Those are very specific looks, but I've found 9/10 times it's predictive of someone who is going to snap at me about something I'll find mystifying. My shoes will be tied incorrectly, or I'll be a few minutes too early for an appointment, or maybe I'll have accidentally driven over the planter box they thought would be a good idea for the parking lot. (It wasn't! If there's one thing we don't need when trying to park a Mitsubishi Behemoth it's more random obstacles designed to fit neatly into blind spots!)

I'm not great with older women in roles of any kind of power in general. I tend to bring out the worst in them and vice versa. I find men safer and more predictable in general.