Need advice RE: Attachment to T

There have been a number of threads about this, but I want to ask:

At first I felt like my T wasn't very sympathetic. Now that she's getting to know me better I'm feeling more "validated". The problem is I'm getting attached to her. Mostly it happened last session. As I was leaving I wanted to hug her out of affection. It took me by surprise. (I have been known to hug peopłe on occassion.)

The problem is that: 1. She's my T, not my friend. 2. I'm afraid of becoming needy, even if it's only in my head. I know from experience that if I get needy I will be miserable. I will be looking for something she can't provide. I think it will make everything worse, and will be a major distraction. (FYI: She's not a psycoanalytic therapist.)

What are some things I can do to avoid this?

If I can't avoid it, can I make it into a positive thing? I have attachment issues relating to emotional neglect as a child. Getting close to people scares me, but I need it really bad.

I'd suggest talking to your T about. I did. She sees how attached to my ex-T I am, and she knows my history with "mother-figures". She told me to be honest with her if I feel myself getting too attached and she'll help me lessen it without punishing me or taking anything away. It's really important I don't idealize her.

But I also understand that talking about it to the person you feel that way about can be difficult.

I'm really scared of talking about that sort of thing. I'm afraid she will react poorly and suddenly cut me off (personally). Honestly I think and feel that people will always reject that part of me, the part that seeks affection and is vulnerable. I feel like that part is "wrong" or improper, or even perverted, and unacceptable. It's also hard to express affection. Even when I know it's ok to express affection, or even the right thing to do, I'm scared.

Good plan!

OK then, perhaps you could start by talking about your fear of expressing affection.

I can't guess how your T will react, but I just came out and told my T that I thought I was in the middle of transference. The response from my T? "What kind of transference do you think it is?" Almost no reaction at all...just an acceptance of how I was feeling. Transference and attachments are pretty common in therapy. Verbalizing how you feel is more than scary...sometimes it's terrifying! I send you good thoughts and . Do what you feel is right, when you feel ready.

My T is consistently aware of ratcheting up of my attachment feelings well before I ever bring it up. You might be surprised.

I am not sure if you can avoid it. The best thing would be to talk to her about it. I was afraid to talk to my T about my attachment because I thought she would change things but she didn't and she is helping me through the feelings.

Thank you all for the good suggestions. I don't know what I'll do. I guess I'll wait to see how I feel. One hour seems so short!

My life situation right now is rather insecure, and she's really the only one I can talk to. She's also the only one validating my feelings, so I suppose my feelings about her make sense.