[stopdog]

What sorts of things do you fear, if you do, from the therapist? Is it different from the therapist than with other people?

I can't say I've ever had a fear of a therapist in any way. There were times I was afraid of what I needed to discuss.

I don't guess I'm generally afraid of people now that I think about it, not unless I perceive a very definite threat (yelling, cursing, odd behavior, physical aggression) -- not things I've ever encountered in therapy.

[AllHeart]

I fear all of those things listed, but, most of all I fear being a bother to my T. This whole allowing myself to be needy and attached to another adult is a whole new experience to me so I don't always "get it." I think if I found out I were a bother to my T that would cause humiliation, rejection, and feelings of not being cared for so that would be the ultimate fear for me. I think I would feel the same with others in that situation. Good poll.

[JaneTennison1]

This is a really good question. I guess I fear not being heard, when I was growing up I tried to let everyone know I wasn't ok but people mostly ignored me. So to be explaining something to a T who didn;t understand or didn't hear me would be the worst thing I could imagine in T

Up until recently I have feared him judging me in the sense of thinking I wouldn't make a good therapist (as I'm training to be one) because I do respect him, but this has diminished since I've grown more confident in my own abilities and also I've come to value my tutor's opinion on that more.
I got a weird inexplicable fear of rejection last week, and we just worked out it is probably related to him asking to move my session time. I think now I have worked it out it will pass too.

[nottrustin]

great question...There is one side of me that wants to say I do not fear anything about T. Intellectually I know she always acts in my best interest, is there for me whenever I need her, she will never judge me other than knowing how strong I am and how much I have overcome, etc, etc. However, there is also that psychological part of me always fears being hurt and abandoned by people...also being a bother and too needy for her. She has repeatedly told me over the years none of this is true and that I am never a bother and if she were to have issues she would tell me. I have this issue with everybody in my life even with hubby at times after 21 years of marriage.

Being triggered, being told things (mostly trauma) aren't real/aren't the way I experienced them, and my T telling stuff to my parents.

[ruh roh]

I am, at times, concerned about all of those, but I wouldn't say they rise to the level of fear. A fear would be that she terminates through moving or other reason, which seems to happen to me pretty regularly. It's harder and harder each time to start over. I think I also fear (or maybe, worry) about what kinds of things she thinks but doesn't say.

[velcro003]

Originally Posted by stopdog

What sorts of things do you fear, if you do, from the therapist? Is it different from the therapist than with other people?

I put other. My T has been really good at telling me it's ok to call or e-mail her, but I always worry that I will push that boundary too far one day and I will come in and she'll have "the talk" with me about abusing e-mail privileges. She said if I e-mailed every day that it wouldn't be "bad," but maybe that I would need more care than she could give. Luckily I do not think I would ever email her that much. So far, at my worst, I e-mailed about 2-3 times in a week.

That being said, my anxiety is not nearly so bad with this T than any previous ones, and I think it is because I "click" much better with her than the others, and she is so open herself; it makes it so I don't have to guess at what she is feeling.

This is sort of unique to the T relationship in a way, but also I do have a lot of anxiety that at any little thing that goes wrong that I certainly will be fired, or evicted from my apartment, and at school I was always convinced I failed every test even though I never did.

[velcro003]

I also HATE feeling needy. I tell my T all the time that I wish I had no needs whatsoever, and I definitely fight it.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I fear being abandoned or rejected by my T.

[junkDNA]

abandoned, him calling the police on me again, that he doesnt care and feels stuck with me and doesnt know how to tell me to go away

[pbutton]

Being a bother. Being too needy, pushy, annoying, overwhelming, dependent, and/or cloying. This fear indicates little about my actual therapy relationship and much about about my childhood development and family situation.

Rationally, I know that this is not a realistic fear in therapy. But my feelings are not yet aligned with the facts.

[Fuzzybear]

Abandoned (and judged)
(it isn't their "place" to judge, that isn't what we pay them for Enough judging from the "family" of origin )

[Cinnamon_Stick]

I am afraid of being to dependent, needy. That my needs are to much for her. That she will die or move away and I wont have her as my T again. That I used to contact her to much.

[stopdog]

I am a bit surprised humiliation is not a more popular fear.
I am also chagrined I forgot to make abandonment a choice - probably because it is not mine but I tried to add ones people seemed to talk about a lot here.

[vonmoxie]

I can't really call this a fear.. technically I don't have fears regarding my therapist -- but my biggest apprehension is not being taken seriously in therapy.

It is different than with other people, only because in real life people almost unilaterally do take me seriously, and don't look at everything I say as a possible delusion. My ability to assess reality is pretty self-evident. Having it questioned so much still ends up being demeaning though.

[Pennster]

I'm afraid my therapist will die. He's only in his 40s and hale and hearty, but my parents died young and it scarred me.

[atisketatasket]

Other - I am not afraid of either therapist. Why not? a) I don't care what they think of me, and b) I don't physically fear them, and for some reason that is important to me.

[junkDNA]

Originally Posted by Pennster

I'm afraid my therapist will die. He's only in his 40s and hale and hearty, but my parents died young and it scarred me.

thissssssss is my big one . i get pretty preoccupied with wondering if my t is dead or not. my dad died young, so that def had an impact. my T is only 38, but sometimes i text him to ask him if hes alive or dead.

[divine1966]

When I first started seeing my t I worried ( fear probably too strong of feeling here) that she would be judging of anything I had to share. That concern went away after first few months

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[divine1966]

Originally Posted by junkDNA

thissssssss is my big one . i get pretty preoccupied with wondering if my t is dead or not. my dad died young, so that def had an impact. my T is only 38, but sometimes i text him to ask him if hes alive or dead.

I developed this fear of people dying last two years. I lost a lot of people last two years, various causes of death. I am now mortified everyone is going to die unexpectedly. I get on people's nerves with this.

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[junkDNA]

Originally Posted by divine1966

I developed this fear of people dying last two years. I lost a lot of people last two years, various causes of death. I am now mortified everyone is going to die unexpectedly. I get on people's nerves with this.

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i am the same... i mostly do it with my T and my mom though... im sure i get o my ts nerves asking him if hes dead all the time. usually he texts me back that he is dead and now hes a zombie. stuff like that. im trying to work on it

[JaneTennison1]

I lost a lot of people when I was young and I always have a fear of people dying. It's not something I really want to fix. I just feel with so many issues then caring for someone's wellbeing is the least of my worries

[Pennster]

Originally Posted by JaneTennison1

I lost a lot of people when I was young and I always have a fear of people dying. It's not something I really want to fix. I just feel with so many issues then caring for someone's wellbeing is the least of my worries

I'm sorry you lost many people as well. For me it's not so much about caring for people's well-being (which I feel like I probably do at an average level) as it is about a big fear of loss, which has caused me so much anxiety and pain. I feel like my life would be better if I could put my anxiety about other people's demise (and my fear of being overwhelmed by grief) on the back burner.