I got dismissed

If the therapist admits it was her, then no problem as I would see it. But if the therapist gets all defensive or *****y - then there is a problem - regardless of human or not (and being human is not really an excuse for a therapist - I avoid all other forms of western medicine so if someone who is in that area claims human as an excuse at least I won't hear it about my own person. It does infuriate me when they do it at my sick person. And I don't buy it then either). I don't get the reasoning to let those people (see human) treat clients in any which way they choose and expect clients to take it.

Your therapist is being super uncool and not at all therapisty. If someone I pay to do therapy things spoke to me that way and then ignored me I'd be a Vesuvius of indignant rage.

Therapy is expensive because therapists are expected to master their 'human' feelings for the whole fifty minutes the client is in the room. They can have all the feelings they want, but they can't take them out on the client.

I would have lost my temper by this stage in fairly spectacular fashion, trainsets would have been thrown. I think you're doing really well to be pretty chill about it.

Thank you for your response. I have much respect for those in the nursing profession. I have had enough surgeries to know that it is the nurses who carry out the doctors orders and endure patients that might not be very personable. I am a professional as well, a teacher. I don't expect perfection from the children. I do however expect respect, and I have earned their respect. Like you, I work very hard. I try to teach empathy to the children, to care, to recognize that somebody might be having an off day. If I make a mistake I own it... and I will apologize when I should. I have taught my own children to recognize when they make a mistake, hurt someone's feelings or whatever the case may be... Humility.
My therapist has told me on more than one occasion that the therapy is about me not her. She has told me to say whatever is in my mind, regardless of who or what it is about. I am not without empathy and understanding... Countless times I ask her how is she, that she looks tired ... She appreciates my concern but certainly doesn't expect it.
As her client I expect professionalism and most of the time that is what I get. But what I got last time was less. No, she's not perfect, yes perhaps she was having an off day . But it's hard to "step back" when the therapist keeps the client before you 5 minutes into your session but tells you it's time to go.
I have no problem with someone staying a few minutes into my session because they may need it but I expect to be treated with respect.

Thanks , stopdog.. I have a lot of respect for my therapist but sometimes I think that they think they are superior to us. I guess they get that savior complex... I don't know but I do know that I didn't like being dismissed. Thanks again!

Lol... Yes sometimes I think I am too chill! That's what concerns me... What if I wasn't, would she have reacted differently? Would she have answered my email? I guess I won't know until I meet with her next time. Thanks again for your support 😊

How much time until her next patient when you left?

Almost ten minutes , she admits she is not good about ending sessions on time.. Something she is working on. I totally get that . My issue is if you are going to end on time then end on time with all of your clients . Having said that I understand that there may be occasions where someone is upset and needs a little more time, I would expect that.

Maybe you are overreacting, maybe not but really how hard is it to say " dear 1stepatatime, thanks for your thoughts about last session, certainly not my intention to make you feel dismissed. Let's discuss this next week? T"

Or something similar. Yeah T's and everyone else are human and make missteps or don't respond perfectly but taking ownership is really not that hard.

Good luck for next session.

Thank you, I feel the same. A simple response would have been sufficient , just to acknowledge me. To not acknowledge my email feels invalidating. Thanks again

My counselor ended our session early last time b/c I wasn't talking enough. It actually felt kind of traumatizing, as now I will feel more pressure to talk which is already hard enough.

Wow, that would really upset me. Your hour is your hour, you paid for it. In my opinion your therapist shouldn't have ended early. I have had more than a few sessions where it was uncomfortably quiet but we never ended before my time was up. Can you discuss this with your therapist? Good luck😊

True, and if they do fail, then repair the rupture. And do it with some urgency. Ignoring a client's distress signal following a rupture or putting it off till next session, seems to indicate a therapist who is either clueless about this basic process, or whose own ego and defenses are blocking appropriate response.

I know some theorists say that the rupture/repair cycle is critical. It can either echo traumatic early life misattunment and disregulation when botched, or it can counteract it when properly handled.

Agreed. I'm not certain why my T didn't email me back to hopefully mend the rupture but I do know that she is very knowledgable of this process and usually on point . I hate to say it but I think she let her ego cloud her judgement and/or she didn't want to deal with any therapy stuff since its Thsnksgiving week and she's not seeing clients ..that feels like an ego thing as well. Whatever the case may be it doesn't feel very good. I have a life outside of therapy but she is the one person that I like to think gets me , does not judge me, has no bad feelings about me but right now I'm not sure.

ps: After my ex T cut me off and left me in a deadly tailspin, I consulted with another T who specializes in helping both clients and Ts with impasses and ruptures.

He said that I was "missing the point that she (T) is a human being, not a therapy machine who will always say and do right thing -- focusing on this will help you move on."

I later became enraged by this statement. It is an absurd double standard. Therapists say trust us we're experts, but when they fail they say hey we're only human. How convenient.

My therapist told me from the get go that she will screw up sometimes and as uncomfortable as that made me feel I get it . What I don't get is the not admitting when they screw up, to own it. They are supposed to be supportive, they are trained to deal with ruptures so for the sake of the relationship why not reach out and say "hey, let's talk about this, I know that I upset you,"etc.
Sometimes I think therapy is a mind fu**. I've been with my therapist for almost three years. It's taken me a long long time to feel comfortable , to trust. Just when I start trusting a little more she'll switch things up a bit, reel in the boundaries a tad. It's almost like they have a long string with your favorite candy on it... you almost get to it then they take it away ..it's how it feels at times. I have wondered if this latest incident was intentional just to piss me off.
I would have been thoroughly pissed too if a therapist told me what you were told ... Sorry that you had to hear that!

Being human means you make mistakes, but it also means you admit your mistakes and do your best to work through them with the other person and try to make things right.

Anything else is kind of inhuman.

This is quite similar to what happened between me and my former T. In my case it was about her not reading a couple of e-mails I sent her although she promised to and when I e-mailed her about that she became dismissive.

It was a classical case of a T not taking responsibility for her actions and she didn´t show enough empathy and understanding and that led to us ending therapy.

In your case it could have been something "simple" like she felt ill or that she was expecting an urgent call and realised you had to leave in a hurry. I´m not defending her at all but I know when you feel pressure of some kind, you can became harsh without meaning anything bad by that.

When it comes to the e-mails I think this has to do with some kind of "policy" that exists among many T:s, that they don´t open up some kind of discussion or disagreement by mail because this could make it worse. If you earlier on have e-mailed her more "neutral" stuff, I think she now thought this "dispute" has to be dealt with in session.

Have you solved this with your T or are you still waiting to meet with her?

My therapist and I have been working together for almost three years. We have always corresponded via email, even if there was an issue or as they say in the therapy world "rupture". Naturally we wouldn't do therapy through email but she has always responded , especially if she knew I was upset about something. The way she abruptly told me " it's time to go, *****" and then didn't respond to my email is extremely concerning to me. I have all kinds of thoughts swimming around in my head... One minute I'm like oh screw this, it's stupid and not worth my time, I'm over her and this mind f*** thing called therapy . The next minute I worry what will happen when we meet next week. Honestly, I am confused... I sometimes wonder if therapy is making me worse . Having said that there are times I walk into that office SO skeptical but I walk out of there SO thankful that I have my therapist. Very uncertain right now