Have you ever annoyed your therapist?

iheartjacques · Nov 25, 2015, 01:06 AM

Yes he's like annoyed a couple of times but usually has unconditional positive regard.
One time he did say he'd never be angry at me or be disappointed in me. So I don't know how he really feels most of the time.

Myrto · Nov 25, 2015, 07:54 AM

I've annoyed her multiple times, she has told me so.
It's painful at first but then I realize she hasn't rejected me which is my biggest fear so it has taught me that is possible to annoy someone and not be rejected for it.

NowhereUSA · Nov 25, 2015, 01:37 PM

I know I've annoyed my T. But it's always been on purpose

We have a good relationship. I just wanted to be irritating to see if I could...

Nov 25, 2015, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WanderingBark

During my sessions, T is very cautious about giving me advice or voicing his personal opinion. He'll always help me explore whatever it is I'm trying to work through, but it's more of a guided walk through my emotions/thought process than flat out telling me what's going on. There have been a few instances recently when T has paused and said something to effect of, "I want to give you advice and I'm trying to figure out where this is coming from/why I feel compelled to give you advice". I told him that I would be more than happy to listen to his advice and that I wanted him to give me his outlook, but then he never does.

Well...today he gave me his advice...but I think he did it because he felt annoyed/frustrated with me. I didn't ask him for advice this time, he just launched into this monologue of how I don't separate my feelings from my interactions with people (I'm trying to avoid giving too much detail so sorry if this doesn't make sense) and that I deserve to be treated better by people in my life. At first, it felt like he was annoyed/frustrated that I was repeating a potentially harmful pattern but then it almost felt like he was angry at the people who treated me poorly. I can't figure out if he's frustrated with me or cares enough about me that he doesn't want me hurting...or what. I'm afraid that I'm annoying him....

Have you ever annoyed your T? How did he or she handle it? Any advice or comments are welcomed.

No. That would mean I have power over how she feels. I don't.

Nov 25, 2015, 02:54 PM

Yes, by merely existing I annoy her. Just last week she said I irritated her because I say "I don't know"a lot and "I suppose"

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Nov 25, 2015, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

I get annoyed at therapists who can't seem to help clients talk about what might be important.

YES!!! I get so annoyed when T just stares at me instead of trying to help me talk about what I am feeling. I get they want us to be the ones to bring up what we want to talk about, but when I'm stuck, it'd be awesome to have a little push.

WanderingBark · Nov 25, 2015, 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Salmon77

Not sure. Sometimes I do or say something and he says we'll have to "work on that" which I interpret as meaning I am annoying and need to not say or do whatever it was.

I don't think he's saying you're annoying, I think he's highlighting a behavior you both should be aware of

CantExplain · Nov 25, 2015, 05:12 PM

Annoyed Madame T? You bet!

She might have been a better therapist if she had been able to conceal her annoyance.

Other Ts? Not that I noticed.

WanderingBark · Nov 25, 2015, 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Permacultural

I get annoyed at patients that spend 55 minutes talking about how they found a fun channel to watch on tv, then drop a major bombshell like, "and then I told my boss to go F himself before I left work to come to therapy today..wait, how come you can't cancel your next patient and give me another 30 minutes? I have to deal with my boss tomorrow!"

This gave me a chuckle. Surely there must be subtle ways to change the conversation or is that frowned upon?

WanderingBark · Nov 25, 2015, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

Yes, by merely existing I annoy her. Just last week she said I irritated her because I say "I don't know"a lot and "I suppose"

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If your T is annoyed easily, I would consider changing to a different one. What you describe doesn't sound annoying.

Nov 25, 2015, 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Permacultural

I get annoyed at patients that spend 55 minutes talking about how they found a fun channel to watch on tv, then drop a major bombshell like, "and then I told my boss to go F himself before I left work to come to therapy today..wait, how come you can't cancel your next patient and give me another 30 minutes? I have to deal with my boss tomorrow!"

You know, when that happens, there is a reason for that. It is for you and the client to explore the reasons for doorknob disclosures; it is an opportunity for good work. If you are becoming annoyed at a client for that, you are not doing your job properly.

Ambra · Nov 25, 2015, 05:49 PM

Everytime I think. I tried to get her angry/fed up but she seems to always be on top of things.

Petra5ed · Nov 25, 2015, 05:58 PM

Probably, but I work hard not to annoy or bother anyone, so hopefully not often. I think he is most annoyed when I stay entrenched in an idea he disagrees with, or a behavior he disagrees with.

He annoys me from time to time, being late etc. Going off on some tangent. Not asking me the questions I feel like I need to be asked in order to open up.

CantExplain · Nov 25, 2015, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ambra

Everytime I think. I tried to get her angry/fed up but she seems to always be on top of things.

It might be valuable to talk about that with her.

Nov 25, 2015, 09:32 PM

Oh yes! Just the other day i annoyed my therapist in a huge way. She wrote me a long, angry email. We had a fight. We maded up a few days later, but yes, i made her mad, and she had every right to tell me off.

ScarletPimpernel · Nov 25, 2015, 10:18 PM

My T gets annoyed when I stop the conversation. If I get scared or overwhelmed, I ask her to stop or change the topic. She gets frustrated because it seems like we're doing good, getting into the deep stuff and then I put the breaks on.

1stepatatime · Nov 25, 2015, 11:37 PM

I'm quite sure that I have and admittedly I like it😏

nottrustin · Nov 26, 2015, 06:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

My T gets annoyed when I stop the conversation. If I get scared or overwhelmed, I ask her to stop or change the topic. She gets frustrated because it seems like we're doing good, getting into the deep stuff and then I put the breaks on.

That would really make me angry. If I need to change the subject that is what I need. For a long time I would just continue with the discussion even if it was to painful or. The overwhelming because I thought that was what I was suppose to do. A few of times I left in a horrible space and I contacted her. She kept saying I need to tell her. So there have been a couple of times whet I have told her I need to change the subject as I can't handle it anymore. She thanks me for telling her and we move on.

Nov 26, 2015, 07:10 AM

Only when I caught him on something. He lied about it. I called him on it. He got mad and lied some more. He doesn't like to tell the truth, even when it is blatantly out there. He gets mad when I call him out on his own issues. Someone has to, if they care.

PinkFlamingo99 · Nov 26, 2015, 07:38 AM

My last one was constantly getting annoyed for me for reassurance seeking. Also for certain things I say like "I feel that..." And she would always say "you don't FEEL that, you THINK it." Come to think of it, her always saying that irritated me too.

Nov 26, 2015, 07:49 AM

Probably ...

Chummy · Nov 26, 2015, 02:06 PM

I don't know. I can't imagine I haven't. But current T hasn't showed any annoyance as far as I can remember.
And current Pdoc has also not showed annoyance, even though there were a few times I was a bit of irritating.

There has been previous T's who showed that they were a bit annoyed with me.

WanderingBark · Nov 26, 2015, 09:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PinkFlamingo99

My last one was constantly getting annoyed for me for reassurance seeking. Also for certain things I say like "I feel that..." And she would always say "you don't FEEL that, you THINK it." Come to think of it, her always saying that irritated me too.

Wow, I would've gone off on that therapist. You are capable of feeling and thinking, even feeling and thinking contradictory things at the same time.

WanderingBark · Nov 26, 2015, 09:57 PM

So as an update:

I flat out asked my T if I had annoyed him or if I was annoying him. He said no, not consciously. It led to a very helpful and fun session

Part of me wonders if he is lying...eh, I guess it doesn't matter in the long run as long as it doesn't ruin our therapy.

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