Couch 104 - The Couch Without A Catchy Title

Im sorry! I love it sooooooooo much! I wont use it on your posts then :Pout:

Better thanks to some lint-covered excedrin i fished out of my purse. Thx for asking!😺

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Are you sure it was the Excedrin and not the lint that did it?

He picked up some emotional cue from you, no doubt.

Haha! My T met my dog once and said she was beautiful (T said the dog was beautiful). Big fat fib

Had anyone read 'living two lives?' About married (heterosexual marriage) women who are attracted to women? Can you see where I'm going with this? hope I'm not offending anyone but honestly I feel like this is too too much to think about argh help wine pavlova whatever

Powerful stuff, lint...

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my T said again she doesn't believe me. that i am pretending

I need to read that i think....

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Wow! Just slept for 14 hours straight. But I feel better than before. Hopefully it was just catch-up sleep and not look-out-depression-on-its-way sleep.

Had a ketamine treatment today. I'm terrible with my emotions - the ketamine exacerbates anything I'm feeling... or rather it's like it strips away my defenses. I started crying and couldn't stop until I went and looked up a funny video on YouTube I knew would make me laugh. :-/

I think my T was right and I've been under an inordinate amount of stress the last few weeks. Well. Not just my T. Also my husband. And my best friend.

I should probably listen to people.

Does anyone know how to cut and paste a tweet? Is it at all possible? Its alright down the bottom there is an option for copy a link to tweet.

Isn't it stupid how you worry yourself into a state of agitation, when a simple email sorts thiings out perfectly well. It's just getting over that anxiety of sending a email, which says to me "I so totally suck at managing my life, i am an idiot" but in reality the person receiving them gets probably a couple of dozen a day.

((Red))

I don't think anyone on the couch will be offended, and indeed, many couchketeers are or have been in the same position.

Speaking solely for myself, my solution has been to stick with my wife and live my gay side out through fantasy alone.

((Granite))

I don't know exactly what happened because I wasn't there. But it sounds like she challenges you too much and supports you too little.

I am sooo paranoid.

Big hugs, granite. She may not believe you when you say things are your fault, maybe?

I am trying to get an answer out of my ex as to what is happening for Christmas as he has the girls that week. He doesn't know! Its about 2 weeks to Christmas! They might be going to his parents place or they may not...

Ya think?! Like when i joked that my divorce lawyer gives me group rates! It could be the couch's - if not PC's - BOMC selection. Now theres an "acronomious" blast from the past!

I guess that was kinda the understatement of the century, eh? you made me giggle. we need a giggle emoticon!!

oh! and i have my lap top back! yay!

Evening, couch.

I am home from CVS and caught up on the couch. I didn't feel like cooking when I got home and I already had fast food last night, so I just ate some peanuts before logging on. Protein.

I also ate a couple chocolate covered cherries. The best kind (in my opinion)...liquid center and dark chocolate. I'm not a fan of milk chocolate and creamy centers.

I applied for 6th grade position at a local elementary school today. Now to wait and see if I can get an interview. Keeping my fingers crossed. If I worked at an elem. school I would get out of work earlier and be able to make it to CVS earlier. I would have to wake up earlier too, but that wouldn't be that bad...just take some adjustment time.

Friday is the Winter Festival at school. I am running the hot cocoa table/station. Hopefully, the kids will be calm near the hot beverages.

I am supposed to have my homebound student tomorrow, but I may need to cancel on them...I got an email earlier tonight that there is a finalizing plans for the winter festival meeting tomorrow after school. Hey, they cancel on me quite often...I'm entitled to cancel on them too if something comes up. Tomorrow was just some of the make-up hours he is owed from before I was his teacher anyways.

I have T on Thursday...no clue what will surface this session. Maybe my college delusions and early teaching jobs before I started to see a psychiatrist. Or even my childhood hallucinations...which I attribute more to an active imagination based on overly religious beliefs that were ingrained into me by my mother. I remember honestly believing I saw demons and angels attached to people and sometimes fighting wars against each other. I remember telling my mom these things when I was a kid and her getting excited and telling me that I was dedicated to God if he let me see those things. Hmmm...I guess that is (as T would put it) another "wack-a-doodle" trait of my mother.

Wow, the garbage I was put through and exposed to as a child/teen.

Maybe this is why I have difficulty forming any type of friendship or relationship with anyone. Hermit Squirrel it is. Or shall I say Hermit Squirrel the Nomad (with how often I move).

Well, I should be getting to bed...it is almost midnight here. Night, couch.

OK my behaviour regarding my T is getting worse and I don't know what to do. My thoughts have gone all screwy too. I know I only have 11 days to wait and thats what my T will say. But it is distressing me.

Can you contact your psychiatrist?

No I see psychiatrists throughthe public mental health service who take forever to do anything. They are hopeless anyway