Couch 104 - The Couch Without A Catchy Title

Recently I diagnosed a client's stallion with testicular cancer. In horses this is readily curable with castration as metastatic cancer is very very rare in horses. They did not like my answer that the horse needed surgery because the culture the husband comes from has strong feelings about manhood. He said castration is the same as slitting the horse's throat ( wtf the horse has NEVER in His whole life been allowed to breed . he is constantly frustrated and upset during breeding season. Personally I think he'd be happier gelded...) I set up a second opinion at an equine specialist hospital for them.
Instead they go to their dog vet and ask their advice
Testicular cancer in dogs metastasizes rapidly.she told them the horse was probably already littered with cancer. Wtf???a dog vet???I would NEVER advise a client about their dog's cancer.
If they didn't trust the specialist I selected there are two other equine specialist hospitals within a 90,minute drive they could go to.for a second opinion
Their dog vet told them just wait and hell get depressed and let you know when it is time.
No he wont. He will be in lots of pain because he has a 10 lb testicle. He will be skin and bones and hyper because he is making WAY too much testosterone. And he could stay in that painful depleted state for YEARS!!!!
I am so angry I want to punch something.

I do not have the stamina for long drives anymore. At seven hours I had to quit and find a motel. It's an OK motel, but it is next to a Waffle House, and I love Waffle House.

After the fall I had medically, I am completely disinclined to deal with doctors myself.

I woke up this morning in a panic. I was still fighting whatever was in my dream annd have bruised my arms somehow.

Respecting expertise and going along blindly are two different things.

I expect to be heard when I go to an expert. I expect to be treated with respect. I expect to be considered an intelligent human being. However, at the same time, I consider it the height of arrogance to think that without any formal training I can understand the nuances that come with specialty training in any field.

But I also have really down to earth docs who are pretty fun people in general My family doc cracks me up and my pdoc has a general quirkiness about him.

I like modern medicine. I think it's cool. But I'm a nerd that way.

I have had some really bad vets (one managed to totally botch a neutering and my pup almost died - I kept taking him back in and she kept saying it was fine until I rushed him to the emergency vet - who was horrified) and some good vets. For all of my disdain towards mds, I do use dvms for the pets because when they are sick or in pain - I don't trust my herbal world expertise when it comes to them. I think I have put the specialty vet's children through private school and possibly bought him a boat over the years - sometimes my pets don't get normal stuff wrong with them.
Sorry to hear about the horse.

I suppose I am nerdy about my herbs and tinctures - It is kind of fun making them and applying them and so forth. I think I would like being better at it.

Ok- couch opinion needed.

Most of you know that T's kids go to the same school as my kids, our girls dance at the same studio, so I have a friendly relationship with T's wife. We speak when we see each other at school, and dance. I got together with her once this past summer to talk homeschooling as I was thinking about it for my son and they homeschooled for a number of years. So, anyways.. She sent me a friend request on FB this evening. T and I have talked about FB and being friends. He has said that he is not friends with any of his clients on FB.. Though he has sent me a couple of links via FB of articles for me to read concerning subjects we have talked about. So, I know his FB is locked down.. BUT- is it wrong for me to be friends with his wife? I could, accept the request and leave it at that, I could email t and ask before I accept, or I could accept and tell T in two weeks when I see him again. I would love to hear the couch would handle this. To be clear... I am friends with her and wouldn't mind interacting with her on FB.

I think the wife is her own agent and if she wants to be friends, it's her call. I'd more be inclined to ask how you feel about it. Would you want to be FB friends with her? Do you think it might color your picture of your T differently? There are people that I like well enough in real life and then I get on FB and it's like, "Here are 10 reasons the government is secretly controlled by reptilian overlords!" And I'm like... crap. CRAP. CRRAAAAAAAP.

It's like a local business that I frequented for several years before the owner one day decided to go off on conspiracy theories that were borderline anti-semitic (if you can be borderline in that topic). I have not shopped there since.

I'd accept-t wife is not t. But I would probably mention it to t at next visit.

I am happy not to be on facebook. It sounds like a lot of pressure. I don't think it would bother me to read what people I liked thought - I have a lot of friends with beliefs I don't share (some are therapists and mds even) but it all sounds like too much stress just to engage with it.

I am totally good with seeing what she posts.. I don't know for sure, but I highly doubt she posts anything to controversial. I think I am just more worried about T thinking I am rubbing up against some kind of boundary. T and I have many mutual friends on FB and I can see when he comments on things, and I am sure he has seen some of my comments.. SO, I don't think it will be any different than that. Though, what if she post something about a family member illness or something that T doesn't what is clients to know? Those are the kinds of things I worry about.

I thought you were starting to ease off therapy - does that make a difference?

I'm of the mindset that he can set boundaries for himself but his wife gets to set her own. I don't know for sure how their marriage is in general, but I know that my husband, for example, does have a similar situation to a T - there are boundaries and whatnot. If I'm going to send a friend request to someone or if I'm going to do something that relates to his job in a more social situation, I talk with him first.

Basically, it's likely she had a conversation with him before sending the friend request. Not a guarantee, but a strong possibility.

That what I was hoping! They probably had a conversation about this and got the ok..

SD- I am moving down to every other week, do I am not sure if it makes a difference to t.

Would they have had a conversation about this? Does the wife know you're a client? (I'm not clear on this.). I would ask before accepting myself.

Yes.. The more his wife and I started to talk the more I wanted to make she knew I was a client. Again- it was because I didn't want her to say something that t didn't want his client to know.

Sooo.. I just shot a quick email off.. Something along the lines of: hey t your wife just friend requested me, are you all good with that? Didn't know if this was pushing a boundary? Or, I could be overthinking things.

Short and straight to the point.

I think I have a bad vet and need a new one but I don't even know where to start to find one... 😕

Depends how seriously you take it. I look at my friends from school/college kids etc and seeing my horse friends riding pictures. I like to share fun pics of my own animals ( our terriers go on vet calls with us and they get into some funny situations). Network for people to go trail riding with. Maybe 5 minutes a day tops. Some people. Get really deep in FB though. My only problem is people messaging me with " I know I haven't talked to you in x years but I have a question about my pet"

I have no problems with answering questions or people researching on their own to be more fully aware of all of their options. What I have an issue with is when I try to explain the law to someone, and they respond with doubt or outright disagreement based on what they read online. One client tried to correct the way I cited a case and I had to say, "I'm looking at the blue book [the handbook on legal citations], page 46, but perhaps you have a more current addition. What page are you looking at?" She had to admit that she was just looking at some legal blog.

So very proud of the eight year old this evening. Her father is being a douche about parenting time - he only wants to see her, not her brother. She told him in no uncertain terms this evening that she wanted her brother to come too. And it all came from her. I've been very careful to keep my own anger about it under wraps. So proud of my baby

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yeah, the people I'm talking about consider their internet research the equivalent of what biotech companies spend millions on. I'm all for being an educated consumer, and the internet makes it easy, but there is a huge difference between knowing enough not to just take everything the professionals tell you at face value and being a qualified professional yourself.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I admit that I used facebook to send my vet photos of a horse's injury in an emergency. I could not get texts to go through, but used a friend's computer to post the photo. I did check with him first.

My motel room pillows are much too fat to be comfortable.

Ditch the pillows and go to the Waffle House

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk