Anyone feel they're "too old" to be in therapy?

I am sorry. That is horrible of her to say. I can't stand it when people make comments and don't get having a mental illness. I feel for you. Please don't listen to her.

Dreadful. I'm so sorry you experienced this.

She actually gave me a disgusted look when she asked how long I've been doing this, and I said 18 yrs.

I know a therapist who works a lot with people who are dying. Like everyone else, her clients talk about whatever they feel the need to. They also have this major transition looming large which can feel scary and daunting. They need to talk about how that feels. They need to talk about how to discuss dying with the people close to them etc.

I think this can be tremendously important work even right at the end of life. I wish my mom had had a safe place to address her feelings about dying. I think it would have made her death less traumatic for all concerned. It would have been a very lovely legacy.

Sure it would be great if we all reached some very enlightened state by a certain age. But that's not how it works. If you think it's beneficial to you, it doesn't much matter if you're twenty or fifty or eighty. All you have to work with is now. You can't get into a time machine and start therapy twenty years ago. So your choice is take care of yourself now or don't take care of yourself.

Of course I am not too old. 50. I am not too old for anything including therapy

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Yes, my meaning exactly, but the T period is over and I am able to cope without her help, as long as I exercise vigilance/care and attempt insight.

I chose a T who was a similar age to me and who had a similar outlook, and worked with her as a partner in my therapy.

I was in therapy for depression in my early 20's only for a short time. just long enough to get thru a crisis. Not realizing how important therapy and treatment would be in my life. didn't get back into therapy until a major crash in my late 40's now 10 years later still on my journey trying to find a balance of medication and skill to survive at 58.

There's an elderly lady that sees my T. She's been there as long as I have been - 2.5 years.

no way. you're never too old to deal with your scars.

Hi UD ,and all,
I'm also in my 6th decade and almost mirror what your going thru and for why.
When I was in the first grade they called my mother in. My teacher said she thought I was smart but that I was a "dreamer". Truer words have never been said. My whole life has been like a dream because I never seemed to have control over it. I tried to bury my childhood PSTD by developing addiction as a coping mechanism.

It started in my early teens. A time where you are still developing your personality. It started with Alcohol, cigarettes, sex , etc........
Now I never said willfully that I was going to become addicted to anything.
So they , ( by they I mean family , society ), blamed my misbehavior on the addictions. BUT beneath all that which was missed until my late 20's was major depression , extreme unresolved anger , self-hate ,suicidal ideations and risky behavior.

It wasn't until I stopped some of this behavior that people took a closer look. I finally wound up with a therapist in my 30's. Now I've wound up with some good and some bad T's over the years because it never stopped.

I had issues and acted out. NOBODY in my family or society could understand why I was the way I was except my T.( BTW : I got married at 22 in the middle of this raging storm going on in my head , bad decision ).

Now at 60 I'm still paying someone to talk to me because nobody else will.
I've been abandoned by everyone I know because they have moved on while I'm still that little boy who "dreams" too much. They REALLY got upset with me when I tried to point out their shortcomings and character defects. That's one of the reasons I'm still in therapy because I speak the truth and it sure hurts if the shoe fits.

To me, after being in therapy for 40+ years, I've discovered that you won't get better until your ready to get better. I mean were talking about changing nuero- pathway's here !

So in the end I think , up to this point , therapists have somehow managed to keep me alive , if nothing else. I'll probably keep going to the end because I will always want to learn something about myself, and there is no CURE for
what ails me.

The best to you all,
CB

I'm in my mid-40's. Been in and out of therapy for years. This last round that I started 1.5 years ago is the first time I've been able to delve into my hard core issues and really work to heal. So therapy later in life has been most beneficial to me.

Ya know, there is beauty in aging. There is beauty in healing. Therefore, us "oldies" in therapy are some of the most gorgeous people on the planet!

Agree WHOLEHEARTLY !

Your response is comforting to me. I think age has given me the perspective I need to address the "real" issues affecting my life/relationships. Unfortunately, I'm very hard on myself and continue to feel I should have been in this place 30 years ago.

I'm going to go out on a limb, here, and say that I think self-harm has more to do with being sufficiently armed to deal with the emotions you're facing now than age. I self-harmed in my 20s, worked it out, then found myself facing it again last year, at 59. I hope you find your balance, soon, so that you won't feel the need to self-harm.

Yup, me, too, which is my problem.

Me, too. I guess there's no age at which we become wise to our own issues. I didn't, at least...

I feel the same way, but don't know how to tell my T that.

You're right that age shouldn't matter, but in my mind, I'm still running the script that I should have dealt with my issues a long time ago. If I could just turn that darned script off...!!! Too, many people look at age as a time that one is wiser, happier, ready to let go of life whenever that time might come...After reading all of the responses I've received, I'm sad so many of us have regrets and wish we were in a different place at whatever age we are.

Thanks, for putting it so succinctly. I don't think I would feel I'm too old to be in therapy if the issues I'm struggling with didn't go back to my childhood.

If I can continue with therapy as gracefully as you've revealed your story, I will be proud. Thank you for all you shared.

I don't feel too old, but rather - I feel that I've been going for way too LONG. I was a kid when I started. I've got crap I just can't shake.

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The Skeezyks IS too old to be in therapy...

I've never felt to old for therapy. I finishe therapy at 53, but would not hesitate to consult with a therapist on a short term bases if I needed it until the day I die.

Great frame of mind! Wish I could get there.

I know this would probably sound really stupid but I do feel old to be in therapy even though im 20. I dont know why though because when I go to my T's office I usually see people in their 30's or older. I guess I compare myself to my friends and stuff and base it off that. Sorry if this didn't really help though.