[atisketatasket]

A companion to SD's poll.

Have you lied to your therapist and if so could they tell? What did they do?

I don't mean lying in the sense of deliberate deception, i.e., big whoppers (since that would seem to defeat the purpose of therapy). I mean more the pretending you're fine, your marriage is fine, you are not in crisis, etc. Misrepresentation if you like. Fibbing. White lies.

I have done those things a few times - No. 1 seems to miss them, but not No. 2.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

No I have never lied to my T. That would not help my therapy and I respect her to much.

[Inner_Firefly]

Other: I aim to tell the truth completely, the only times I cannot is when I've been lying to myself so I didn't realize I was lying until I realized I have been tricked by myself.

[PinkFlamingo99]

I've been very tempted to lie about deep cutting a few times, but I never have.

[ilikecats]

I lie by omission somewhat often. Sometimes it's because I can't say things because I'm too nervous, or because I don't think it's relevant or important. Other times I just feel too uncomfortable or embarrassed. But I don't think I've ever done a super direct lie, and I don't intend to. I have broken promises though, so maybe when I promised originally I was lying? But at the time I think I did intend to keep it, so maybe it wasn't quite a lie. I think my T sometimes can tell when I'm withholding something or not telling her something. But other times she can't tell or at least doesn't say anything.

[stopdog]

No - but the first one has accused me of doing so. I had to set her straight. The second one asks and does not assume she knows.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I lie by omission too. And I lie by exaggerated sarcasm (i.e. "How are you today?" "Wonderful!"). She knows it's a lie.

[ThisWayOut]

I picked "other"

I've lied intentionally and unintentionally about how I am doing. Sometimes a T was able to see through it, other times I had to bring a T's attention to it. I have trouble with feeling like I need to live up to expectations, and often times those expectations are purely my own, but I ascribe them to others. With my previous T, I was deliberately hiding how I was really feeling for a while because of agency restrictions around who could be in treatment. She started to pick up on it, and we ended up talking about it. I was refered out shortly after b/c of my increasing depression.

I think that was the only time I deliberately lied to someone I had worked with. Other lies only happened to crisis workers or minimizing certain aspects of my struggles at the start of therapy to avoid unnecessary hospitalizations.

With current T, I feel like I'm lying about the more recent memories we've addressed, but T says she believes me. I think she would be able to see through any lie I may tell her. I'm not sure she would confront me right away, but I'm fairly confident she would pick up on it. She lets me "fake it" as long as it is serving me positively to keep faking competence or functioning. Once it stops being helpful though, she points it out. I think if I out-right lied about symptoms or what I was experiencing, she would take it in stride and address it as necessary (if I told her something had happened that did not actually happen, she would probably use it to help inform treatment... It's what she is doing with my denial of the abuse memories that came up)...

I think this is very common in therapy.
After all. Therapy is there to help us understand what it is we don't understand and perhaps not able to tell it as it is.

Oh yes, particularly when I was very unstable and not able to think very rationally, and yes, he was always pretty aware that I was not being truthful. So was pdoc.

[nervous puppy]

I've omitted details that I didn't think were relevant, but maybe they were? I don't know and I don't think T knew either. Ex-T called me out once or twice, but we both new I was lying at the time and I was being sarcastic - she hated that.
I've really tried hard with current T to be honest about what I do tell her. Some things are just difficult for me to verbalize and she knows I struggle with that. I don't know if that's lying or dishonest. I think it's avoidance.

I told my T a little white lie in an email a couple weeks ago. I've always been completely honest with him about everything. He has never questioned if I have told him the truth or not.

[junkDNA]

yes, i would lie about not taking my meds and/or if i was hearing voices, but he could always figure it out anyway cause that sort of thing is hard to hide. i dont do that anymore, though.

[divine1966]

I didn't lie but omitted things

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[RedSun]

Yes, I agreed ( with myself sort of) not to lie in T. But, inevitably I say 'it's fine' and I know it's not, T knows I know it's not. Bigger lies too, but not now, in the beginning.

I lied when I first started seeing him about the depth of the depression I was in. I knew he would likely be obligated to hospitalize me if he knew how bad it was. He did not know me well enough to realize I was lying. Actually, even people who knew me very well did not realize I was lying about my emotional state. I have not deliberately lied to him since then.

[vonmoxie]

I've never lied outright to the guy. What omissions I have are as much to protect him as to protect me (any information that specifically has the potential to significantly compromise the quality of care I receive or that he is able to provide). I'm at peace with those omissions (not haunted or trapped by them), and an absolute open book besides: honest to a fault. Unfortunately he has that common therapists' habit of wanting to find a hidden or alternate meaning in everything, which is pretty counterproductive when I'm self-aware and unguarded.

I can see why people would lie in therapy. My honesty hasn't gotten me very far, and it becomes exhausting to keep putting myself out there in the way that I do without even acknowledgement for its existence.

[Septembersrain]

I have never been honest to a therapist after I grew older. Which is why I don't try to go to them. I was honest only once when I was younger, this led to me being put on a cocktail of medicine and locked up in a troubled youth home. From then on, I've worked my way through my symptoms. I do see a psychiatrist who prescribes me anti-anxiety medication. I'm also on a mild anti-depressant for IBS-D. Also taking a beta blocker for POTS.

I've managed to get myself a combination of medicine that's slowly normalizing my life. All this without baring my soul and risking being institutionalized again or drugged out of my mind.

My situation isn't normal, a lot of people get great help from a therapist. As for me, well, I'll keep reading up and helping myself.

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To pdoc mostly. When I'm not doing well I say I'm doing better and then list all the things that went well, even when I feel like crap. Because just for those few minutes, I can pretend I'm doing better than I am.

[Favorite Jeans]

I have misrepresented things to her--both deliberately and unconsciously. I sometimes feel like the shame of other difficult feelings associated with an incident are too much and I tell the story in a way that feels less threatening to me. Sometimes I go back and revise it later. If she suspects that something is up with my story she certainly doesn't let on.

[UglyDucky]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

A companion to SD's poll.

Have you lied to your therapist and if so could they tell? What did they do?

I don't mean lying in the sense of deliberate deception, i.e., big whoppers (since that would seem to defeat the purpose of therapy). I mean more the pretending you're fine, your marriage is fine, you are not in crisis, etc. Misrepresentation if you like. Fibbing. White lies.

I have done those things a few times - No. 1 seems to miss them, but not No. 2.

I chose 'Other' before knowing the qualifications of lying...I sometimes tell my T I'm 'good' when I'm not; I hate always being in some state of depression or other negative emotion.