[ScarletPimpernel]

I know that might not be a big deal to some people, but it is to me.

I emailed her a few weeks ago asking her if it was too soon to ask for a hug. She replied saying that if I have a want or need to always ask. I left it alone... till today. I asked her for a hug. Of course, she wanted to talk about it. She asked me why and what it means to me. I told her that we have been doing so well the past couple months, that I feel our relationship is stable. She asked what stable means to me. I replied that I have more trust in her and that I feel comfortable and safe with her. She told me her boundaries with hugs: only casual hugs like at the end of the session. I told her that's all I wanted (and it is all I really wanted). I told her that the hig would mean that everything is okay. She laughed. She asked me if I would finally stop asking her if everything is okay after each session. I still asked anyways The hug felt so natural. It wasn't awkward at all. Her height didn't make a difference either.

I'm so happy. I feel a sense of peace and stability in my life. She's my T. She will leave one day, but for now she's a part of my life. And my gut tells me that she won't abandon me; not like ex-T did. For the first time since ex-T, I feel safe. I have hope. And everything is going to be okay. I'm happy.

[DelusionsDaily]

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

I know that might not be a big deal to some people, but it is to me.

I emailed her a few weeks ago asking her if it was too soon to ask for a hug. She replied saying that if I have a want or need to always ask. I left it alone... till today. I asked her for a hug. Of course, she wanted to talk about it. She asked me why and what it means to me. I told her that we have been doing so well the past couple months, that I feel our relationship is stable. She asked what stable means to me. I replied that I have more trust in her and that I feel comfortable and safe with her. She told me her boundaries with hugs: only casual hugs like at the end of the session. I told her that's all I wanted (and it is all I really wanted). I told her that the hig would mean that everything is okay. She laughed. She asked me if I would finally stop asking her if everything is okay after each session. I still asked anyways The hug felt so natural. It wasn't awkward at all. Her height didn't make a difference either.

I'm so happy. I feel a sense of peace and stability in my life. She's my T. She will leave one day, but for now she's a part of my life. And my gut tells me that she won't abandon me; not like ex-T did. For the first time since ex-T, I feel safe. I have hope. And everything is going to be okay. I'm happy.

Scarlett, I'm so happy for you!!

[yagr]

Your joy came right off the screen and attacked me! Now I have this perma-grin on. Thank you so much for sharing your joy. I have beyond happy for you.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

I know that might not be a big deal to some people, but it is to me.

I emailed her a few weeks ago asking her if it was too soon to ask for a hug. She replied saying that if I have a want or need to always ask. I left it alone... till today. I asked her for a hug. Of course, she wanted to talk about it. She asked me why and what it means to me. I told her that we have been doing so well the past couple months, that I feel our relationship is stable. She asked what stable means to me. I replied that I have more trust in her and that I feel comfortable and safe with her. She told me her boundaries with hugs: only casual hugs like at the end of the session. I told her that's all I wanted (and it is all I really wanted). I told her that the hig would mean that everything is okay. She laughed. She asked me if I would finally stop asking her if everything is okay after each session. I still asked anyways The hug felt so natural. It wasn't awkward at all. Her height didn't make a difference either.

I'm so happy. I feel a sense of peace and stability in my life. She's my T. She will leave one day, but for now she's a part of my life. And my gut tells me that she won't abandon me; not like ex-T did. For the first time since ex-T, I feel safe. I have hope. And everything is going to be okay. I'm happy.

I am so glad you got your hug! I know how amazing and special a hug with your T is. It is so healing. I am glad you are happy and are at peace.

[Argonautomobile]

Fabulous. So happy for you!

[NowhereUSA]

Yay! That is a big deal.

[brillskep]

I'm really glad to hear this is going so well for you!

When I first hugged my therapist, it was a huge deal for me. The first three times were particularly important for my change in therapy. But somehow, hugging again and again, I've started almost taking it for granted, so thank you for reminding me that it IS a big deal (for me as well).

I hope your therapist continues to be so helpful to you.

[musinglizzy]

Hugs can be SO healing...and definitely a sign to both you and your T that you are trusting of her. That's awesome! I think I took her hugs for granted... I miss them. I still get a hug from her, but they used to be long, close, healing hugs. Now they're short, feel forced. She changed her ways and said "prolonged hugs aren't beneficial" in my therapy. Or something along those lines.

I know how this hug, when it happened, would be a big deal for you....and I'm glad it happened! Here's to many more hugs!!

[ChavInAHat]

So glad you got what you needed from your T and it sounds like something very special to you!

:-)

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

That's great!

[divine1966]

It sounds like you overall doing better not just with your t! So much growth. Congrats and happy holiday season to you

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[junkDNA]

wonderful !!!

Yay for you!!!

[ScarletPimpernel]

In the beginning, I really didn't think the relationship would work out. We were having so many issues. One week would be good, the next week horrible. I even went T shopping at one point! I even told her I did. Part of our problem was that T was kind of forced to be a middleman btwn my ex-T and I. T said it made her feel like a "bad guy". And I think I kept my distance from her hoping to find closure with ex-T.

But a few months ago, we finally gave up trying to get me closure. Ex-T just wanted nothing to do with me, so I filed my grievance and let the board of psychology decide. It's actually a relief to let go of trying to get something that is not possible to get. So for the last couple months, it's just been me and T. I even tested her by revealing my secret to her, but she stayed. And she has stayed with me through all of the drama. She even gave me tips on how to find my next T! But every time I felt like leaving, there she was. She didn't make promises, she didn't try to be something she's not. But she was there for me. Every time I realized she still didn't leave, only encouraged me to keep trying.

So after all of this: abandonment by ex-T, distrust in Ts, T being middleman, me searching for new T, my anger, my depression, my testing, figuring out both of our boundaries, learning how to communicate, learning that both of us need reassurance, etc. After all of this, T is still there. She has been honest, she has put in a lot of effort. I'm so grateful to her. The hug was for both of us. It's was me letting my wall down for her and it was her making our relationship stable and safe for me.

After what I went through with ex-T, I think that everything with T will be okay. There will be bumps and there will be a termination. But I trust that things will be better.

[nervous puppy]

So happy for you! I'm glad things are going well!

thats really awesome we are so happy for you ♥♥♥