[UglyDucky]

Does anyone feel, at times, that they're too old to be going through therapy? Maybe sometimes feeling you should have dealt with your issues earlier or that you should be able to deal with them alone? Or that you're wasting your therapist's time because your therapy is going to be a long process (due to your issues) and you may not live to see the fruits of all this hard work? I'm trying to understand the transference I'm going through right now and this age thing keeps echoing around in my brain. (BTW, I'm a young 60 with childhood traumas...)

[unaluna]

I think its an attitude or mindset that doesnt really correlate to age. Like either youre a pet person or youre not. Youre a t person or youre not. Youre a vegetarian or youre not or you go thru phases of eating meat or eggs.

Definitely feel "too old" to be in therapy . . . Often and with anger and regret!

Like you, I never dealt with my childhood trauma, kept it deep inside, close to my chest, and allowed it to fester and harden, until I felt as though I'd burst from the inside out. I realize now that if I'd been able to get the help I needed earlier in life, my adulthood might have been significantly different . . .I'm not talking about my professional/work life, as that has been positive and satisfying. But my personal/relationship life has been sadly lacking in the area of connection, loving and intimate relationships. If I could have a do over, things might be different.

Although I know that I will never be able to make significant and lasting personality changes (something that I personally feel is more possible if a person gets therapy early in life), I do accept that I can use therapy to get a better understanding of what trauma did to me and to develop better coping skills. Therapy can also help me have a place to vent when things seem to be coming apart at the seams and that venting time, allows me to be heard, to take a deep breath, to examine my options with a person I respect and then go back out into the world, happy that I didn't act impulsively and make a mess. I don't view therapy as a waste of time . . . not today anyway. Ask me again tomorrow and I might respond differently . . . that's my flawed and damaged way of looking at the world that isn't so good at changing due to my "old age" entrenched way of thinking LOL

**I did want to add that I know many other older people that aren't as set in their ways as I am. They seem to be able to turn their thinking on its ear and see things from a different angle with ease. I respect that and wish it was me, but it's not. I can only hope to make tiny changes and continue to accept and learn from my mistakes.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

I did have me doubts (59) but I was wrong.

I was 41 when I begun. I remember when I first realised how long this work was going to take, that I'd be to old to even benefit from the work.

I'm 53 now. Still in T. And realise it is the journey, not the destination. Little & big things have changed along the way. Taking it in small bites had been my experience. Well worth it. No matter anyone's age. And to be fair, I think being older in therapy is actually more beneficial.
When younger I didn't have enough experience of 'me'. I do now.

[UglyDucky]

Originally Posted by unaluna

I think its an attitude or mindset that doesnt really correlate to age. Like either youre a pet person or youre not. Youre a t person or youre not. Youre a vegetarian or youre not or you go thru phases of eating meat or eggs.

Thanks, Una...I like thinking of therapy in the way you describe - it's helpful.

[Argonautomobile]

I don't think there's a "too anything" to be in Therapy. Try not to feel bad about it.

That said, I do sometimes feel too young to be in therapy (like all of my 'issues' are really just normal twenty-something crap I'm over-reacting to). I imagine sometimes that T has short-hand descriptions of his clients in his head (like, "Oh, Court-Ordered is coming in today, right after Dissociative Dan") and I'm "Quarter-Life Crisis."

Or maybe "What's-Her-Tits."

[justdesserts]

I'm 39 and I regret not starting earlier. I'm also terrified of what my life will be like if I'm not able to make big changes. I know I don't want to keep living this way for another 40 years.

[UglyDucky]

Originally Posted by Jaybird57

Definitely feel "too old" to be in therapy . . . Often and with anger and regret!

Like you, I never dealt with my childhood trauma, kept it deep inside, close to my chest, and allowed it to fester and harden, until I felt as though I'd burst from the inside out. I realize now that if I'd been able to get the help I needed earlier in life, my adulthood might have been significantly different . . .I'm not talking about my professional/work life, as that has been positive and satisfying. But my personal/relationship life has been sadly lacking in the area of connection, loving and intimate relationships. If I could have a do over, things might be different.

Although I know that I will never be able to make significant and lasting personality changes (something that I personally feel is more possible if a person gets therapy early in life), I do accept that I can use therapy to get a better understanding of what trauma did to me and to develop better coping skills. Therapy can also help me have a place to vent when things seem to be coming apart at the seams and that venting time, allows me to be heard, to take a deep breath, to examine my options with a person I respect and then go back out into the world, happy that I didn't act impulsively and make a mess. I don't view therapy as a waste of time . . . not today anyway. Ask me again tomorrow and I might respond differently . . . that's my flawed and damaged way of looking at the world that isn't so good at changing due to my "old age" entrenched way of thinking LOL

**I did want to add that I know many other older people that aren't as set in their ways as I am. They seem to be able to turn their thinking on its ear and see things from a different angle with ease. I respect that and wish it was me, but it's not. I can only hope to make tiny changes and continue to accept and learn from my mistakes.

I'm not sure what "old age" is now, but I think changing one's personality is not necessarily the purpose of therapy; being able to recognize behavioral flaws and being willing to try to change how one interacts with others may be more useful. Thanks, Jaybird57...your thoughts make sense to me. I'll try not to beat myself up by setting unattainable goals.

[UglyDucky]

Originally Posted by ManOfConstantSorrow

I did have me doubts (59) but I was wrong.

Glad to hear it (if you're saying you're not too old?)!! I wish you the best on your journey if you're still walking that road!!

[UglyDucky]

Originally Posted by _Mouse

I was 41 when I begun. I remember when I first realised how long this work was going to take, that I'd be to old to even benefit from the work.

I'm 53 now. Still in T. And realise it is the journey, not the destination. Little & big things have changed along the way. Taking it in small bites had been my experience. Well worth it. No matter anyone's age. And to be fair, I think being older in therapy is actually more beneficial.
When younger I didn't have enough experience of 'me'. I do now.

Thanks, Mouse. I think I fall into the category of not having been "ready" to benefit from therapy when younger. I had two Ts when I was in my 20s, but I (and they) didn't come close to touching on what I needed to deal with to make therapy a success.

I'm 52 and finished up therapy about 2 years ago. Honestly, I think I was able to make more headway and progress as I got older, as I gained better perspective of the world and of priorities, as I finally grew into my adulthood and stopped feeling like a kid all the time. When I was younger, I just wasn't in that place yet and my progress was very slow and very little. Age helped, at least for me.

[PinkFlamingo99]

I feel very "old" dealing with severe self-harm issues at 33.

[msxyz]

No, but I feel too old to be having some of the issues that I have.

[Ellahmae]

Originally Posted by PinkFlamingo99

I feel very "old" dealing with severe self-harm issues at 33.

Just want to say, you're not alone with that subject or that age.

I don't feel too old to have therapy - and my god do I wish my 67 mother would get therapy! But I do feel too old to be having the issues that I have, and I do wish someone had told me how insane I was (I had no idea) a lot earlier. My life could have been so different.

I'm in my early 30s. I wish I had started dealing with my issues a long time ago. Feel like I've wasted time I can't get back.

[peaches100]

It is clear to me now, looking back at my childhood, that I needed therapy as a young girl in grade school. However, I was in my mid-30's before I finally suffered a severe clinical depression and entered therapy. I am 51 now, and yes, I do feel too old to be in therapy. But when everything you've stuffed down for decades suddenly explodes, and there is no pushing it back in, what choice do you have? I take meds, but it doesn't make it all go away. It only helps keep me stable enough to "do life" (go to work, meet my obligations).

[Cinnamon_Stick]

I don't think there is any age to be in therapy or to still be in therapy. If you need it then age shouldn't matter.

[Mygrandjourney]

Sometimes people have crises around transitions in their lives at which time they can benefit from support and guidance. This can include empty nest, retirement, loss, etc. The choice is basically to continue living with the status quo or to try to make changes that may lead to more satisfaction and happiness for you.

[AnaWhitney]

Originally Posted by Argonautomobile

I don't think there's a "too anything" to be in Therapy. Try not to feel bad about it.

That said, I do sometimes feel too young to be in therapy (like all of my 'issues' are really just normal twenty-something crap I'm over-reacting to). I imagine sometimes that T has short-hand descriptions of his clients in his head (like, "Oh, Court-Ordered is coming in today, right after Dissociative Dan") and I'm "Quarter-Life Crisis."

Or maybe "What's-Her-Tits."

I've had these thoughts too, like T might prefer clients with more life experience, like my young people problems are annoying! That said, I know that if I was older I would probably have the thoughts that the OP and others on this forum have. So either way I'm going to be worried about it so I should just get on with it and be thankful I can get myself the help I need, no matter what stage of life I'm in.
And your short hand descriptions are hilarious.. whats-her-tits

[ruh roh]

I don't feel too old for therapy, so much as I feel a loss over what I could have had if my first attempt at therapy had been with a good therapist and if I had not been swayed into taking medication.

It is harder to find therapists who can keep up, but it's also a much richer experience if you can find one who does.

[PinkFlamingo99]

Originally Posted by Ellahmae

Just want to say, you're not alone with that subject or that age.

Last time I had stitches, the nurse actually said something to the effect of "by your age, most people have found better ways of coping with their feelings."

[Ellahmae]

Originally Posted by PinkFlamingo99

Last time I had stitches, the nurse actually said something to the effect of "by your age, most people have found better ways of coping with their feelings."

Awful of her. I'm so sorry she said that to you. She doesn't understand or get it.

Originally Posted by PinkFlamingo99

Last time I had stitches, the nurse actually said something to the effect of "by your age, most people have found better ways of coping with their feelings."

And at her age and level of education/medical we could only wish that she could have paid attention and learned more about self-harm and emotional dysregulation. Sorry you had to put up with her bigotry and ignorance, PF.