[CopperStar]

I've seen a handful of therapists throughout my life. I never got anything out of any of those experiences (as far as working on issues). It was like I was just expected to blather into the wind for an hour while the therapist occasionally gave me a sign of life. But there was no guidance, no methods, no change. I talk to myself a LOT and always have since I was a child, so simply talking doesn't do anything for me. Everything I've told a therapist, I've told a wall at least a dozen (if not hundreds) of times before. I did like one of my therapists, she an older woman with a great personality, and I really enjoyed just talking with her in general, our conversations were interesting and flowed well. But in the end I was paying for a surrogate friend, ya know? I wasn't making any progress with symptoms or QoL. I just really liked that lady, probably would have wanted to hang out with her as friends if she wasn't over twice my age and also my therapist.

So is anyone willing to share how their therapy experiences have been differentfrom this? Like different from just yakking away for an hour with no direction or improvement. What do you actually do in therapy that improves your life?

Trying to figure out if my former therapists were duds, or if therapy just isn't right for me.

I never thought of my sessions as just sitting with a person/friend and talking. If that was all I was getting, I wouldn't have continued.

My therapy was always pretty directed towards fairly specific goals. They weren't written down and formal, but it was always clear what we were working toward and why we were discussing certain things.

My therapists taught me skills for coping with depression and anxiety that I use to this day -- skills I had not been able to put into action on my own even in cases where I understood cognitively what I needed to do but couldn't actually utilize them due to factors I simply didn't understand about myself. In therapy, we processed through significant trauma that had left me dissociative, depressed, passive, and hopeless -- factors that had me stuck and quite ill actually.

Through that combination of skills and processing through my past, I was able to emerge from therapy in a much healthier place than I started.

[RedSun]

Copperstar your experience sounds more like counselling than therapy?

Mine is less goal directed than yours sounds Lolagrace. My T is very relational, and some of the enactments through my transference have been very revealing.

I've also been able to discover and, very slowly, talk about historical issues and T takes an active role in supporting me and making me feel safe.

[ChavInAHat]

For me, I don't have many friends or much family.
T is a sounding board for me as well as helping with my previous 'trauma'.
I can talk to her and get a response. I can work things out with someone who knows what they are talking about and I can vent how challenging it is to bring up my child with complex additional needs- because in the special needs community you are supposed to be able to walk on water and crap and be perfect at dealing with your kid.
I've made mistakes (not abusive ones) but have learnt from them.

I suppose to a degree I do pay T as a surrogate friend as well as someone to help me with my past.

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[Pennster]

Therapy has really helped me - I had a few tough experiences when I was a child and I never really understood the effects of them or how to deal with those effects. My first round of therapy just gave me an understanding of the impact of earlier trauma, but really didn't give me any way of coping better. My current therapist is much better at actually helping - he has kind of a 'program' involving meditation, mindfulness, self-compassion etc that has really helped me develop the notion that there are so many things that I can do to take care of myself. I've also taken up yoga and ramped up my exercise, which has also helped. I do better at taking care of myself now, feel less depressed, and am better at keeping my head together and not zoning out as much as I used to.

I still feel like I have a lot of work to do, but my dark days are less frequent and less dark now. I have faith both that he is willing and able to help me, and that I have a whole set of things I can do to help myself.

To me the biggest difference between my therapist and my friends is that my therapist is actually helpful! I have great, supportive friends, but I need someone with skills and knowledge that can actually help me. I would be kind of reluctant to drag my friends through the kinds of feelings I have when I am gripped by post-traumatic distress, so being able to share that with my therapist and have him show me ways out of that kind of thinking feels like such a gift. I am really grateful for him and his style of therapy.

[Tearinyourhand]

therapy has helped me become more assertive, direct and honest about my needs without concerning myself with other people's opinions. it's helped me challenge the instrusive, pushy controlling women I encounter in a way that enables me redirect their unsolicited advice, their gas lighting and entitlement of my time, experiences and attention. it's taught me nobody is entitled to anything from me and it's up to THEM to understand that rather than the burden being on me to explain it. as a survivor of abuse this has been very healing and empowering for me.

[gayleggg]

Sometimes my thinking gets all muddled up. I find it hard to decipher the from fiction. My therapist has away of helping me find the truth and balance.

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[Cinnamon_Stick]

Therapy (my T really) has saved my life a few times. When I am in the right mind set it has changed my ways of thinking, its has improved my other relationships, it has given me strength I didn't know I had. So yes, therapy has improved my quality of life.

[here today]

I’m 68, had anorexia nervosa when I was 15 -17. Hospitalization and Freudian therapy, all that was available back then, probably saved my life. Met my late husband when I was 27. Had 24 good years. We were both “off the beaten path” but maybe that’s one reason it worked. Then he died. . . I knew I would need some help, thought it would be “no sweat” since I was certainly willing to acknowledge I needed help – but for what, exactly? Didn’t get whatever it was I needed and fell apart. Super bad QoL.

5 and a half years ago I lucked into seeing a therapist who specializes in trauma. I think that had that type of therapy been available 50 years ago I might have gotten my psyche put together and healthy going forward. It’s sort of attachment theory + trauma + psychodynamic therapy and has improved my stability and sense of self. Main problem for QoL currently is that I was never very well socialized so that even though I’m somewhat stable and whole now it’s kind of late to build a life. Nevertheless, what are the options. Maybe if you ask again in a few years?

[Argonautomobile]

Therapy has helped me change the thinking and cope with the symptoms that make me want to die.

[Permacultural]

My therapist is sharp. He interrupts me if I'm going on about something that doesn't have therapeutic value (I.e. related to treatment goals that I made in the 2nd session). And instead of interrupting me and redirecting me to talk about something else, he politely interrupts and brings up content from the last few sessions, ties it all together and presents to me patterns that I was totally unaware of. Stuff that makes me better at being independent and sociable, because I have a thing about paranoia and trust.

[AllHeart]

I've seen a few therapists over my 2-1/2 decades as an adult. My labels are MDD, PTSD, CSA, and attachment disorder. My current therapist is the only one that has ever helped me change successfully. I've been seeing t for about a year and a half. We do IFS (parts) work, and talk a lot. She really put me through the ringer! I guess I really put her through the ringer too!

One of the most effective things for me was to grieve. Did a lot of grieving over lost childhood, sh***y parents, good career, relationships, etc. I hated grieving, but I can see now where that is finally paying off.

More than anything, my t worked with me on matters of the heart. We share a healthy attachment with each other now. The loving relationship we have has been the most effective medicine for me. I am finally coming out on the other side and I am doing it without medication no less (I had been on an anti depressant for over 20 years). Still have lots more work to do, but the worst is over.

[Miswimmy1]

My therapy has always been very unstructured. But I would barely say that it was paid friendship. My therapy provided me a safe place to begin to even figure out what my issues were. I entered therapy so broken and so confused that I was just trying to keep my head above water. A lot of my healing has come from using my therapist a sounding board to think out loud. My personality is also such that I need to fully understand a problem and be able to see the benefits of a potential solution before I feel comfortable taking any action. Talking freely with my therapist has allowed me to think about my issues from multiple angles and then the therapist has helped guide me towards the solution by giving me feedback. My therapy has always been very client directed. This style has worked well for me.

It's not finished yet. But the talking to someone with the skill to understand and help you understand helped my brain widen.
There's loads of things happening in the just being there too. It's an inner experience that I find hard to explain. Until I had this experience, I had no idea of what it should be like. How would I.

[magno11789]

It has helped with feeling supported. Before my coping strategy was through binging and purging. Now I binge and purge less due to coping and grounding skills that I have learned.

[stopdog]

It has had no bearing on my quality of life. I have found a use for it, but my life is pretty much the same and there have been no changes I would attribute to therapy.

[justdesserts]

I've seen previous therapists without having it make any lasting change in my life. Since I've been working with current therapist, I've seen major changes. I'm able to set better boundaries, address abusive elements in marriage that I never have before, and discuss things I've never talked about. But it's not just talking about the things, it's processing them and understanding how they affect me currently and feeling like I have the power to make changes, which is something I've not experienced with any other therapist.