[lostmyway21]

I just wanted to say hi to you guys again....its been a longggg time since I was on here. I see a lot of you guys are still on here from when I was. I started to reply to some of your guys posts tonight but tomorrow I'll try to get to a lot more. Hope you guys have been well and happy new year.

I guess I'll leave with my own question. Those of you that have been with there T for more than 3/4 years, was there ever a time you felt like your T betrayed your trust? (My T has been a rockstar over the years so I'm like really pissed off at him) Or a time that your T compared you to any of their other clients to try and make an example of what could happen to you? We recently had a bad disagreement, and I don't feel like I've taken it out of proration in any way. I feel like he was wrong and after 4 years with my T if he doesn't base my therapy on my actions instead of what others have done, I have a legitimate gripe about it. Am I just angry and off base here?

I have emailed him since telling him how I felt and he said he didn't mean for it to be taken that way but for some reason screwing up my trust like that is just not good enough. I don't trust like anyone.

[ilikecats]

I would be totally pissed off if my T started comparing me to other clients. That seems really rude and invalidating. Maybe even breaking confidentiality for the other client? I don't blame you for being angry, and I don't think you're off base at all for feeling that way.

[Elkino]

I hate it when my T does that. It feels as if you're not being seen as an individual person.
But I also tried to see it from a T's point of view. Sometimes they may not know what to say or how to react or what to do...
And then I guess it's easy (doesn't justify it of course, but...) to look back at another example and start comparing it. It's just the way we learn, by seeing examples of good and bas stuff and then eventually learning about values and ...
So I wouldn't be as angry as I would have been before anymore, if it would happen (again). If my T would still keep my situation and my personality into account of course.

Could it be that your T was a little bit stuck? Or really wanted to make some point clear and found the only option was to work with an example?
If he/she did still see that you are you and not that other person, I'd try to talk about it and ask about how T is seeing things, until you understand and your anger may fade.
If your T really treats you as if you're the exact same person, I'd be angry too, yes. And I believe you should be too. Nobody should be treated that way.
Since you say your T has been amazing through all those years... I really hope it's a misunderstanding between you both.

[magno11789]

The second T I had I saw her on and off for 3 or 4 years. There were several times when she would compare my situation with one of her other clients who was in a similar situation that I was in at the time. However, it didn't bother me. She really wasn't comparing me to the other client. She was trying to give me other examples of things that might work for me. This was helpful for when I was stuck. She wouldn't do it all the time just a couple of times.

[lostmyway21]

I guess I should have been a little more specific about the topic.

Trigger warning :suicide

Somehow the talk about suicide came up. Not totally unusual because my step-dad killed himself when I was 19. BUT this time the conversation was directed towards me, he basically patronized me about suicide and that he's heard the things I've said before with other patients and there not here anymore. I've been so mad since, like he's basing our four years of therapy off of what some of his previous patients did? I've been to hell and back these last few years, and I don't understand why he just doesn't let my actions represent me. Im having a lot of trouble trusting him now. He wants to explain himself next session but I feel like that will just piss me off more.

[Elkino]

What do you mean with 'they're not there anymore'? You mean the things they were saying... or those people?
So were you actually telling your therapist that you think about suicide?
Sorry for the questions, just making sure I'm getting this right.

Originally Posted by lostmyway21

Somehow the talk about suicide came up. Not totally unusual because my step-dad killed himself when I was 19. BUT this time the conversation was directed towards me, he basically patronized me about suicide and that he's heard the things I've said before with other patients and there not here anymore. I've been so mad since, like he's basing our four years of therapy off of what some of his previous patients did? I've been to hell and back these last few years, and I don't understand why he just doesn't let my actions represent me. Im having a lot of trouble trusting him now. He wants to explain himself next session but I feel like that will just piss me off more.

Doesn't sound patronizing. Sounds like your therapist is seriously concerned about your safety and is trying to help you see that you may need to do things differently. He seems to have lost some clients in the past to suicide and sees a similar pattern in you. I'm not sure how that is a betrayal. Sound like concern because he knows how difficult things are for you.