Could you imagine being friends with your therapist outside of sessions?

This made me laugh! I think being friends with my gyno would be a bit weird!!!

I'm in unrelated group with a therapist who I have to see if I want to attend events. I have far more seniority in our group and field, which seemingly made me her target. (She doesn't know about my blog.) She goes out of her way, bounds across the parking lot, to say something reprimanding or obnoxious to me. She's a grandiose braggart, preening her hair, self promoting, while boasting how compassionate she is. She is very glam and had great hair.

I'm envy of no one suffering this overbearing egotistic outside a clinical setting. Though she has great hair.

Or inside a clinical setting.

What kind of comments does she make and how do you respond?

I can easily imagine being friends with my T if we started out in a different context, i.e. not as therapist-client. He is definitely sympathetic as a person, one main reason why I chose him. I can also imagine becoming friends with time in a future where my treatment is done -- I know as fact that sort of thing happened between him and his former therapist(s) as well. But right now I want him as my therapist and maybe mentor in some things, not a friend. I do have fantasies (transference reactions really) crossing boundaries in several ways, but consciously and intentionally I don't want to act them out in ways that would interfere... much more interested in discussing and using those fantasies for the sake of the therapy process.

T is about twice my age, so I think any relationship we might have had would always be 'unequal' in that I'd rely on her and she not on me.

It's a group where members participate as much or as little as they choose. One time she gave me a prissy life lesson about letting go of grudges, which I wasn't even discussing. I told her she wasn't my instructor or my therapist. Another time she sprung across the parking lot, broke into my intense conversation with a friend to scold me about my lack of participation. I answered off topic. I frankly think she's trying to create the opposite effect--to establish her dominance and make me less welcome.

Her "frenemy" interest in me is disconcerting, and I didn't handle the second strike with the firmness it deserved. After two go-rounds, I hope I can tell her to buzz off if she attacks again. Otherwise, I'll just avoid her--best not to escalate or provoke. It's horrifying this immature, competitive specimen is a therapist.

You should lecture her about "boundaries."

I've been to parties where a doctor said "Do you realize I've seen every woman in this room naked?"

That is what keeps me from being friends with my surgeon (who is also a gynecologist, though not my regular one). She's seen or touched me in ways I don't want a friend to have seen or touched me in.

I live in this little town where everybody knows everything about everybody, and the doctors are supposed to not violate Hipa laws, but I never tell anybody anything that I would care if it got blasted all over town.

Also, a couple of my so-called friends are the worst gossips.

I have a bit of confusion about 'what is a friend?' now anyway. I'm married, so my husband is the one I primarily do things with. Occasionally there's a girls only activity. Then there's out to dinner with another couple or a party (rarely). Unfortunately, I've been getting along so badly with my husband that I don't even leave the house and sit here crying every day :-(

Didn't mean to make it about me-- just saying it's good to have a therapist you really like and it's probably best to keep them as someone you can truly confide in.

I have remained friends with my first therapist for 30 years now (distant -- not buddy, buddy -- we live far apart). I can absolutely see remaining friends with my 2nd therapist as we actually were prior to him becoming my therapist. My current therapist and I probably would not be more than maybe friendly acquaintances. We are too different in our interests, etc. to find much interest in each other as friends.

I did imagine it with ex-T because I saw a lot of similarities between us, such as likes/dislikes, sense of humor, and things like that. Now that she's passed away, that can never be, obviously.
With current T, I don't see it happening at all. I could be completely wrong since I know pretty much nothing about her except what university she graduated from and that she practices mindfulness meditation. I like her, I just don't see us even being at the same places like restaurants or shopping.
We do both attend MBSR (mindfulness based stress reduction) classes at the same place, but different days.

While my T was my T, I never have any desire to be her friend. I liked the T/client relationship and didn't want anything different. Moreover, if we had met on the street, I doubt we would have developed a friendship. She is 16 years older than I am, she has 3 kids (I don't have any yet), and she is more natural/hippy than I am. However, because we got to know each other so well and develop such a close bond theoufh therapy, we have come to discover many shared interests, experiences, beliefs, and emotional similarities. So, when my T stopped practicing in November, she offered me the option of staying in touch and developing a friendship. I know it will never be equal and we will never be besties, but I think it is going really well so far and I am looking forward to seeing how our relationship evolves. So far, we have only had lunch or coffee. We have not been to each other's houses or gone out to do an activity. She tells me things about her life, but she has never used me for emotional support. I'm not sure if these things will change over time-- or not. But I'm okay with that, either way. Honestly, I feel very lucky that I get to stay in T's life and am happy about the transition, eventhough it was not something I wanted initially.

My two previous therapists (#1 retired & #2 I moved to the opposite side of the country) both gave me their phone numbers and emails and asked me to feel free to call and/or write "anytime". I called the first one shortly after I started with her partner (the therapist she referred me to following her retirement and move away), to discuss how things weren't working out for me with her former partner. She gave me some pointers/suggestions, I thanked her and proceeded to quit with the other therapist and started a search for a new one (that wasn't her suggestion but I realized after speaking with her that her former partner really wasn't the right person for me). I haven't spoken to her again, but I do think of her fondly every once in a while. I really liked her; in fact, my current (3rd. therapist) is very very similar to her and I believe that this was the factor that helped me stay with her.

My 2nd. therapist emailed me a few times and I emailed her a few times. We talked about me doing Skype therapy with her when I was struggling to find a new therapist, but I hung in with the search and finally found my 3rd therapist.

I don't think I'd ever want to be friends with any of the therapists I've seen. All three of them are great people and I truly respect them and have many things in common with them. Perhaps if they weren't my therapist, we might very well develop a friendship, but I have to admit that it skeeves me out to think that the person I'm sitting and having coffee with knows all my intimate secrets and I know none of theirs . . . even if I learned them over time I wouldn't be able to get over the vulnerability issue in the beginning. I don't even want to EVER run into one of my therapists outside their office. I get it that they don't live in their office, but since I deposit my "ugliness" in their offices and I want it to stay there and not run around coming face-to-face with me at unexpected moments, I don't want to see them outside their offices!

Nope, I can't imagine or want to be friends with my therapist.

By the way, my mother is close friends with the woman who used to be our old foster system social worker.

My gyno goes to my church and everytime we shake hands or "pass the peace" I havr to try not to laugh wondering where his hand has been in the congregation (off-topic, sorry).

I don't know, I don't really know the real T. I just know the role she plays in the session. From the session I like her, but I highly doubt this is a representative set of behavior and thoughts. So I truly could not tell. The only information I really have is that this person was interested enough about human behavior to go into this line of work, but even that is not enough for me.

I often imagine what it would be like to know my therapist in "real life".
I tend to think I know her but ultimately I don't. I'm fascinated by every aspect of her life but this is the transference talking.
She's 25 years older than me so the only suitable role I put her in would be a sort of mentor. But would she be up for that? Wouldn't her sharing information about her life shatter the illusion that she knows best?
I don't know. It's probably very unlikely we'll ever be friends but I'm still gonna ask anyway at the end.

Not social friends as we come from different worlds and have few interests in common, but I feel like we would work well together as colleagues or something, and get on well.

My T is about 15 years older than me (I'm in my 20s) so it would be weird if we were friends. If anything, I think we could maybe have a mentor/mentee-type relationship but that's probably it.

I used to sometimes wish I met mine in some other context so that we could have been friends. Lots of similar interest and just a guy I really like talking to. Of course, it'll never work that way now.

That being said, finally finding a therapist I like and is constantly on the same page I'm on is also priceless. Probably still more valuable to me this way than as a friend.

I often used to think about being friends with my therapist. It always confused me because I felt that my t offered me a lot of the things that I think friends do - understanding, humor, kindness, loyalty (although I know that there is a difference between loyalty and confidentiality). I wasn't sure exactly what set my therapy relationship apart from any of the other friend relationships in my life, except for the fact that 'your doctor can't be your friend'. I still wonder about this. So they can do all the things that a friend could/should/would do but just because you pay them, they can't be a friend, even if they feel like one?

I feel the same way. A therapist is doing all of the stuff that a friend would do and the relationship feels deeper than some friendships yet they are not a friend.

Although I'm somewhat intrigued by what my therapists life outside of our session might be like I don't think I could be friends with her. It would be really weird!! She knows me too intimately (emotionally) for us to ever be friends. Even if I wanted a friendship, she has all these boundaries in place,some necessary, some a little ridiculous in my opinion. ( won't tell me if she has kids, if she is gay... Which I'm almost positive she is). Anyways... Friends with my therapist would be a negative!

Friends...not so much. Acquaintences meeting up once a year, having coffee, catching up on life...yeah.

I actually have that with my counselor from a board and care I lived at. I meet her about once a year for coffee and to catch up on everything.

I would have loved it with ex-T I would probably like it with current T after the therapeutic relationship is over.