[Suraya]

I thought about making this a poll but I think that would limit the responses and there's probably a multitude of different reactions based on each T and different experiences.

I'm really curious how other peoples Ts respond when you cry in therapy, whether it's just a slight tearing up or full blown crying. Lately I seem to cry in every session the past few months. I never used to cry, and if my eyes got watery, she'd ask me why and prod me. Now, she basically ignores it, whether it's a little teary or a lot of tears. Maybe she's tired of me crying each time, I don't know. She doesn't try to console me. She doesn't even offer me a tissue or tell me if there are any. Actually, I don't even know if she has any in her office. I'm sure she has to. I should no by now to bring my own - lol! I stupidly wipe my eyes constantly with my sleeves or hands.

I know that it's good practice to not interrupt someone when they're crying because it shuts them down, but shouldn't she at least offer a tissue?

My T rarely offers me tissue. Once, she took out a box and put it beside me on the table.

Usually, I have to stand up and walk over to the paper towel dispenser (clinical consulting room) and get paper towels to blow my nose or wipe my eyes.

She looks at me when I cry, whether it's a little tears or full blown crying, though I'm usually too ashamed to see what expression she has on her face.

Your T's practice seems pretty cold to me.

I've only sort of cried twice. Once was a few tears fell before i stopped them and he said something about honouring the tears and the second time the crying was a bit more heavy but still not really crying and i was apologising and saying its stupid and he said these are messages we are given. If anymore was said I forget.

She ask me why what she's/I'm saying makes me sad. Usually it's up to me to find or ask for a tissue, but yesterday she handed me some.

[precaryous]

Asks me, gently, "What are the tears about?"

[Argonautomobile]

T just sort of sits there. It's not unpleasant. Once he offered tissue. I resented the hell out of that, for some reason. He hasn't done it again.

[Chummy]

She asks what's making me cry. Sometimes I just stay quiet and she just keep looking at me and waits for me to start talking. There's a box of tissues on the table.
I hate it that T's just keep looking at you while you cry. That's why I always cover my face with my hands. My T has said a few times that I don't have to hide it.

[nervous puppy]

Ex-T used to say "tissues are right over there" and point to them. They were always out of reach and I was afraid to move.
Current T always has the tissues on the coffee table between us, so they are visible and reachable. Often as soon as she sees water starting to well up she reaches to the shelf underneath and pops them on top of the table. Then asks what the tears are about.
Once, I was crying uncontrollably and she had to tell me to breathe and get me to calm down. All with her voice. It worked.

[HALLIEBETH87]

My newbt just sort of keeps talking with me. My previous one did breathing exercise with me to help me calm down. I was totally ugly crying then.

I've cried in therapy, but it's never a sobbing, gulping cry. I fear the "ugly cry" and attempt to avoid it at all costs. I usually just leak tears and let them fall down my cheeks if it gets really leaky. I bring my own tissues or just use my sleeve. Crying really frustrates me because I want to talk, not cry and crying makes talking harder. I also hate when the therapist just stares at me so I look away and try to continue talking.

[stopdog]

I have never cried in front of the therapist but when the woman was pushing for it I did ask what she would do. She's given different descriptions over the years and how she reacts when a client cries, and the descriptions are so conflicting, I believe she was just make **** up at the moment. Her descriptions range from nothing to coming over and sitting next to them on the couch to sending her dog over to stop them crying.

I always end up with kleenex. I think sometimes I grab it; other times he hands it to me (I don't remember for sure; how I get the kleenex is really not important to me).

He isn't one to try to comfort me. I'm glad for that. I suspect it would have the effect of causing me to stop crying, and as much as I hate crying, if I'm doing it, I probably need to.

It's more a matter of him just being there while I cry. Sometimes he says nothing. More often he asks me what the tears are about and gets me to talk about whatever it is that caused that reaction if it isn't obvious.

I don't think it is nearly as big a deal to therapists for the most part as it is to us. I suspect they see a lot of tears. For them it isn't about the tears so much as it is about what is behind the tears.

[Sawyerr]

She asks if I want her to come closer, so she comes sit on my couch. then she holds me and wipes my tears with a tissue. she is extra warm when I cry.

[NowhereUSA]

He sits there. He looks empathetic but there's no active consoling. The tissues are already within reach. I've just had a few tears and I've sobbed uncontrollably.

I used to feel awkward about it but I don't anymore.

[rainbow8]

I've never cried in therapy. The closest I've come is recently when I could feel tears forming but they didn't come down. My T asked what would the tears be saying. She promised me that if ever do cry she won't comment on it or make a fuss because I told her I'd be self conscious .

[Victoria'smom]

I cried in therapy. We continued talking while tears ran down my face. When I apologized he said it's the body's natural reaction when emotions well up. He did keep repeating that I look so sad.

[BayBrony]

If its just tears flowing she'll gently asked questions about how I am feeling.

If its full blown sobbing, can't breathe, howling crying she will hold me

[LonesomeTonight]

There's a box of tissues next to where I sit in box T and marriage counselor's offices. So I don't have to ask for them...except a few times when I used them up. (I actually figured out that when there's only a few tissues left, the tissues are a different color--which neither of them had realized until I brought it up!)

I cry pretty often in therapy (particularly with T), so they're used to it. When I cry, they just tend to look at me in a caring way, sometimes continuing the conversation, sometimes waiting for me to continue. (For some reason, I tend to apologize to MC if I'm crying a bunch, and he'll say it's OK.) Occasionally, lately, I've noticed that T has some tears in her eyes, too, when I'm crying, particularly with certain topics. I find this to be very touching because she's clearly emotionally invested in me (but I also feel bad making her cry). A couple times, MC has taken off his glasses and rubbed his eyes when I've been crying--could have just been his eyes bothering him or maybe he was trying to hide tears, not sure.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by Jaybird57

I've cried in therapy, but it's never a sobbing, gulping cry. I fear the "ugly cry" and attempt to avoid it at all costs. I usually just leak tears and let them fall down my cheeks if it gets really leaky. I bring my own tissues or just use my sleeve. Crying really frustrates me because I want to talk, not cry and crying makes talking harder. I also hate when the therapist just stares at me so I look away and try to continue talking.

Oh, I've done my share of "ugly crying" in there...

[Pennster]

My therapist usually has the box of tissues at the ready, except for a few times early on when he'd forgot he'd run out. I cry a lot, so we don't get too hung up on it. He might ask me some questions or he might be quiet and we'll just see what bubbles up next. He has cried along with me sometimes - he seems to be a rather soft-hearted person, which I relate to. I just generally feel a bit of gratitude for his compassionate presence, on top of the grief or whatever it is that is making me weepy.

I am surprised to read that there are therapists who don't supply tissues! That sounds like it would be difficult.

[magno11789]

I've never cried in therapy, so I do not know how she would respond. I have a feeling she would probably wan to explore it in the beginning. I assume she would also at least offer a tissue.

[spring2014]

Originally Posted by Suraya

I thought about making this a poll but I think that would limit the responses and there's probably a multitude of different reactions based on each T and different experiences.

I'm really curious how other peoples Ts respond when you cry in therapy, whether it's just a slight tearing up or full blown crying. Lately I seem to cry in every session the past few months. I never used to cry, and if my eyes got watery, she'd ask me why and prod me. Now, she basically ignores it, whether it's a little teary or a lot of tears. Maybe she's tired of me crying each time, I don't know. She doesn't try to console me. She doesn't even offer me a tissue or tell me if there are any. Actually, I don't even know if she has any in her office. I'm sure she has to. I should no by now to bring my own - lol! I stupidly wipe my eyes constantly with my sleeves or hands.

I know that it's good practice to not interrupt someone when they're crying because it shuts them down, but shouldn't she at least offer a tissue?

hi surya,
my therapist has tissue boxes in her office and whenever I start to cry she would put the waste paper basket close by whenever I have my cry feast in front of her. then after the session she would give me hug to make me feel better . she did that to me when I first started seeing her as my counselor last year .







Diagnosis: Anxiety and depression
meds : Cymbalta 60 mgs at night
Vistrail 2 25 mgs daily for anxiety prn
50 mgs at night for insomnia with an additional 25 mgs= 75 mgs at night when up past 1:00 in the morning

[nottrustin]

I cry very little and when I do it s a few tears running down. The first time it happened she got up and offered me a tissue which were beside me I didn't realize it. Since then she doesn't I think because when she did I stopped crying. She knows I hate to cry and fight it but she tells me I should let it out. So she doesn't want to cause me to stop because of something she did. I have noticed when I do cry she tends to clear her throat a lot. I think it is because when I cry it is something very painful and she fights her emotions...course I could be completely wrong.

[ChavInAHat]

I haven't cried but she has apologised for shedding tears in 2 of our sessions. I didn't even notice the first time as I don't really do eye contact, but the second time as she had to grab a tissue.

Personally I was a little taken aback and she explained why she had that reaction. After all she is only human.

I don't know how she would react if I did cry, but I do know that if I did, she would be kind about it.

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[stopdog]

I would leave if the therapist started crying. I expect them to be in better control of themselves than that.
I also carry a handkerchief so I would never need rely upon the therapist for tissue should anything untoward, such as me crying, occur.