What does your at do when you cry?

But the therapist is only human. Even humans get caught off guard occasionally.

I think her explaining why she cried (and it wasn't proper crying but a few drops at most), actually helped me in a weird way.

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I do hate crying because I want to talk and my voice gets all warbly. I just haven't been able to stop lately. Thankfully it's not the sobbing ugly crying. She is very empathetic and just sits there and listens - doesn't try to stop me. I always look away so I don't know if she's looking at me or what her expression is.

When I was in therapy my therapist held me in her arms as long as it took to cry it out, and then she would use her breathing to help me regulate my breathing. I can conjure up the image and feelings if I'm distressed to sooth me, but it's rarely needed, now. When the words were difficult she used a psychodrama technique called doubling, and only a few tears came she would hold my hand and wipe those few tears away. I was always held afterwards. I never felt her actions interrupted my process of crying it out. I needed, and appreciated a shoulder to cry on. The process was ALWAYS soothing.

It was always my biggest fear when I was starting therapy that if I could never hold the tears back, I didn't like the thought of her just sitting there watching me cry. It hadn't happened yet, but that was my fear. It took me awhile to finally open up and cry.....and when I did, she would come sit on the couch beside me.....it helped me feel so safe. She would put her hand on my knee, or put her arm around me and let me cry on her shoulder. I was able to let the feelings out and feel safe and comforted at the same time. It was amazing. But, it didn't last. She said she did it to help me feel safe, help me trust her, and after 5 months of that (not every session), she stopped. No warning, no discussion. For good. I've never recovered from that, even 9 months later. I dream about how I would be right now if we hadn't had that rupture. It still breaks my heart. Now she just sits there and watches me. But sometimes she will cover me up with a blanket.

It is this which hurts me so badly now. To be that type of T, then just change the rules very abruptly. I agree, her breathing helped my breathing...so I could calm down and TALK about my feelings rather than just cry and shut down. Sometimes, I'd hear her heartbeat, and that, too, helped me calm down enough to start talking again. All that stuff is dead in the water now. It was my belief, too, that if given to me, and help me feel safe, I would come to the point of not needing it anymore. She didn't give me that chance.

I don't cry often. It's hard for me to do. I consider it a bit of a victory when I do cry.

When it happens, my T encourages me, "it's okay"... usually because I'm apologizing for being emotional but she's also encourages me to just 'have my feelings' and get it out.

She's set kleenex by me if it's out of reach.

The other day I started crying in therapy when my mom and me were arguing. I put my hands over my face and said that I wanted to stop. T said "It will be over in a minute" very sympathetically and continued talking to my mom, who she was talking to at the time. I'm suprised she didn't offer tissues. I feel like I've seen them in her room before and she probably just was distracted.

I teared a bit once in former t's office. She looked at me also sympathetically and either placed the tissues within my reach or said where they were. I can't remember. I didn't like her and didn't want her to see my cry so I fought it.

I full on ugly cried in former pdoc's office. He had no tissues so I awkardly wiped away my tears with my scarf and sleeves. He gave me his sympathetic look, but he's not a super warm and fuzzy person.

I bet current pdoc would be super caring if I did cry, although I haven't as I've only seen him twice. Today I was telling him about how I was worried about my weight, he told me I was beautiful. Idk it just made me smile.

I've also left my therapist shirt a bit wet from my tears and drivel, after a good cry. The nicest part is I wasn't made to feel self conscious about dripping boogies on her shirt. It happened several times and her responses were always ones of acceptance. I had issues with body functions.

I really don't understand T's who don't have tissues in an easily accessible place in their office. It just seems like an obvious thing to me. Like, if I was a T, I'd have boxes in multiple locations, just to make things less awkward, so no one would have to ask for one.

I haven't really cried in therapy, but there was one time when my eyes got kinda watery. It was in my first session with her, which made me feel even more uncomfortable. I haven't even gotten close to crying since then, which I think is weird because I usually cry pretty easily. When my eyes were getting watery my T waited for a couple of moments and asked if I was okay to keep talking. Or she said something like that. If I ever started to cry a lot or sob or something I'd feel pretty uncomfortable. I'm a mess when I cry, and my makeup isn't waterproof so it'd go everywhere. I'd have to use like 20 tissues, and sometimes she has them on the table, but sometimes I don't see them there. So I don't know what I'd do if they weren't there and I needed them. Gosh I hope I never have to sob in front of her.

Yeah, I'm not sure why I even bother wearing eye makeup to see T (or MC)! I tend to dab at my eyes, which I think makes the eye makeup less of a mess...

I have not cried in therapy. I am afraid to. I have told my T this. I am afraid of getting to upset and then having to leave. There have been a few times where I can feel the tears coming and I change the subject and gain my composure. My parents raised me to think that crying is weakness and no one should see you like that. Crying also wasn't aloud when I was growing up. My T is a very safe person and her therapy room is a very safe room. I feel like its safe to cry there. My T has teared up a couple times and I talked to her about it and she said it was a blessing we could be emotionally connected like that and that I wasn't the only one vulnerable in the room. There is a tissue box on the table next to my chair. I fear the ugly cry as well. I also know I cant talk when I am crying and that would waste the session. I have cried on the phone with my T. I don't know if she knew but it was easy as she could not see me.

When I found out my mom passed away, I cried (very much unexpected) as I was leaving a voicemail for her because she told me to call her with updates. It was turning into an "ugly cry," so I just hung up halfway through my voicemail. It was really late at night, like after midnight, and my t called me back after a couple minutes. She was really sweet and gentle and just talked while I tried to calm down, which was exatly what I needed. And somehow she got me to focus enough to schedule an extra session for the next day. I have yet to cry in her office though. I'm convinced that it's impossible for me. Crying resulted in severe consequences when I was a kid, so I stopped at a really young age. It's almost as if I've forgotten how to cry. The last time I remember crying was when I called my t about my mom, which was almost 4 months ago I believe.

I used to get severe consequences too if I cried when I was a kid, so I never did in front of people as an adult. I also can't talk when I cry. Then my life had several crises happen this past June and I fell apart and into a deep depression. Since then, I cry all the time. I hate it. I wonder if I'll ever stop. T says it's the PTSD that causes little things to trigger me. Next week I'm going to look before our session begins and see if she has a box of tissues anywhere - lol!

I have not cried in therapy yet. But I very rarely cry in real life. I think I cried twice in 2015 and that's a lot for me. I'm just not a cryer.
If I cried I'm sure my therapist would just sit there in silence and look at me, which is a horrifying prospect and one of the reasons I haven't cried in therapy.

I have never really cried in therapy. I teared-up once and T asked what I was feeling. He knows I'm not ok with crying. He makes it a point to let me know he has tissues if I need them. Like that changes how I feel about crying in front of people.

I've only recently been able to cry. He adopts a soft, soothing voice, and hands me tissue. How I'm gonna miss that man. <3

She does absolutely nothing, which I like. Even in the middle of my sobbing, we just carry on per usual.

Possibly the way she responds has to do with the personality of the client?

Perhaps - but that is not the answer she gave - the answer she gave to my request to stay back was that she did not touch clients.

I cried once and she handed me a tissue.

musinglizzy, your therapist BLEW IT — BIG TIME. She had so many chances to get it right these past months. I am so sorry this happened to you.

Thank you for this. I had a session today....and I cried harder than I've ever cried in therapy before. Just too much crap in my life right now. She still is kind.... she doesn't offer me tissues anymore because for some crazy reason I'm not sure of, I WON'T take them. But she covered me with a blanket when I was sobbing....which was nice (although I kinda kicked it off...I was already hot in there). She also let me stay an extra half hour. I was her last client "of the year," she was leaving after me. But she had some things to do before she left the office...so she let me just "be" on her couch during that time, where I could regroup. I fell asleep.

I really hope you can work through the damage this T caused you with the new T that you are seeing. You deserve to heal and be happy. Falling asleep on her couch does sound nice though. I have fantasied about doing that because my T's office is so safe and comfortable but it would never happen.

I never thought I'd feel comfortable enough to actually fall asleep in her office...but I have twice now in less than a month. It's been an incredibly hard month...

Thank you for your thoughts!