[DePressMe]

My blog has been excellent therapy for me. I have started sharing parts of it with my therapist. Below is a post about how much Kung Fu and kickboxing has helped me—I highly suggest it as part of therapy. Sorry this is a long post.

Being a survivor and a warrior…
Believe it or not, I have found Kung Fu and kickboxing to be a good part of my therapy process. A few years back I was consumed by fear, anger and I was stuck in the role of victim. Old feelings kept me shackled to the past. Although I still have issues with feelings, I have done a tremendous amount of healing and found kung fu and kickboxing instrumental in growing and developing into a whole new person.

I moved to this town to get away from my family. I just decided that moving away and getting out of the insaneness was the best thing for me to do. When I moved here, I decided enough was enough—it was time to stop acting like a victim and learn to protect myself. I joined a kung fu and kickboxing club. At first I focused on learning to fight—I practiced on a punching bag every day. Sometimes, I hit and kicked the bag for hours until I was absolutely exhausted. It was through this exhaustion that I began to heal.

At first I imagined the punching bag to be my brother—I beat the hell out of him day after day. The anger in me seemed to pour out. This was much different than before—before I just accepted the abuse as what I deserved for being a woman. When the anger began to waiver, and the exhaustion hit me I would have clear moments of insight—in the first one I realized anger was not the key. Of course, I knew the anger was justified and I needed to express it, but I could not continue to live in a state of anger.

Soon this began to spread to other parts of my life—all the abuse I had experienced started to flood out while I fought with the punching bag. It was like the bag was my demons from the past and I was winning by finally being able to face them, get angry about them and conquer them by beating the crap out of them. The memories began to lose their power over me. Those who had abused me no longer controlled me—I was no longer a victim—I was a warrior.

We began to work on the spiritual and mental side of kung fu. Instead of spending so much time beating up the punching bag, I spent hours working on mediation and forms. Through the forms I learned control over my body, coordination and how to be calm within myself. Soon, I no longer had the desire to find any of the abusers—they became part of my past. Although my past has influenced who I am today, I no longer have to live in it and be controlled by it—I am free to develop a whole new person. I am a survivor and sometimes, today, when I work the punching bag—I am a warrior.

Depressme! What a great uplifting post! Thank you!

[SecretGarden]

This is such an excellent post DePressMe...and so powerful. In this time of stress I have increased my time at the gym and my body knows it. I really think I would like to do the boxing but I hear they have a program that seems more difficult than I physically can at this time. But I have been walking the track and swimming laps and doing water aerobics and walking here at work and and and circles even in the halls at work. I really do think I need a punching bag. Your writing is so eloquent and your victories in your journey so embraceable. You rock!!!

Gosh you are inspiring this morning.

[Perna]

I love finding connections in my real life and my therapy like that. What a great experience for you to "remember" when things are difficult.