Few questions about crying in therapy?

I like the part where you say that it changed your relationship. I also feel that if I do cry, my T will have seen me at my lowest and that would make our relationship stronger. I'm actually curious to see how my T will react if I do cry because of how out of the ordinary it will be. I know it's weird, but I just want to be able to cry at least once before I stop therapy just to see how things change and if I will feel better and get more out of sessions.

I guess only time will tell !

Update:

I had my session today and I couldn't hold it in anymore. My T asked if anything came up during the week and I said yes but that I wanted to avoid talking about it or thinking about it. My T offered that we do a written exercise together in session about it and it turned into such a bonding moment between us. At one point, I think my T was about to cry because I heard sniffles and saw red eyes. I barely made eye contact as I was doodling on my paper because when I spoke I looked at my paper the entire time. Although I didn't fully talk about my fears and everything, it was a start because now my T knows how escalated my health anxiety is. It felt really nice and calming to talk about it, even though I was really nervous at some points. We are obviously going to talk about it more as the weeks go on but I'm really happy that I was able to say there was something on my mind.

Thanks everyone !

Sounds like a really productive session... Hope it continues

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Your question just made me realize that what I cry about is humiliation and frustration. I never cried over really sad things like deaths and a rape. This is true in and out of therapy.

I remember my mother not comforting me, and verbally abusing me, causing me to cry uncontrollably, and telling me I deserved it.

I feel numb and tell about the really sad things with a flat affect.

I've seen a dozen therapists. Usually they don't react at all to my crying, like they're used to patients crying. This one therapist laid into me with the same verbal abusive tone as my mother, causing me to cry hysterically. I went through an entire box of tissues; crying the whole session and the rest of the entire night- tears and nose blowing-- not pretty.

And no one defended me or protected me from my mother, and my husband (it was marriage counseling) did not defend or protect me from that abusive therapist, just sat there and let him lay into me, probably loving it because the guy took his side.

Does crying help you heal? It didn't help me.

It's great that you've been able to open to your T!

Have you ever cried in therapy? (Either tears or full out crying)
Yes, about a month ago, that's the only time (been going nearly two years)
How does your T react when you cry?
I was talking about a situation and monologuing really. I wasn't looking at her so I don't k ow if she reacted. Afterwards I could see she had teared up a bit, but that's not unusual. She didn't touch me (she doesn't anyway) and she didn't pass me a tissue. I kind of wish she had though, I was a bit snotty, and co-ordinating my limbs to reach for the tissue box at that point was about as likely as flying
How long did it take you to let go and cry? (Not exact but just a guess of time).
Eighteen months, but I don't think it was time, it was the subject.
Do you think it's normal for a client not to cry even when talking about painful things?
Yes, sure.

Thanks everyone ! I think as I spoke yesterday my T would be silent for a while and always say "it's not your fault" and it reminded me of the movie GoodWill Hunting in the therapy scene. When my T would say things like that or something like "you've seen 2 deaths at a young age of course you'll be afraid of an illness" those parts made me want to cry. I never did yesterday but when I was looking down on my paper I realized from the top of my eyes my T would stare at me for like 15 seconds then continue. Not sure what T was expecting.

Has your therapist ever talked to you about hypervigilance? Because it comes through so strongly in your descriptions of your therapy sessions. It's as if you are so tuned into every nuance of your therapist's observations and actions, that you are not fully present in yourself. That could explain why it's so hard for you to show emotion, because you're almost entirely focused on your therapist and not yourself. It's a protective reflex.

That's not to take away from your great progress in being able to communicate that there's something bothering you. It's just an observation. I've been there myself, when I was younger. It's very hard to get past. The downside of letting go is getting lost in the moment and not being on guard to what the therapist is doing, but it also has the benefit of finding out and expressing what's going on with you internally.

My therapist never talked to me about that. I have noticed I do that too but it's not just with my therapist. Usually when I'm around "higher figures" like teachers, parents... I usually try to see how they react to things I say. I think it goes straight back to the fact that Im such a people pleaser.

I dont usually try to look at my therapist reactions but even when I dont look, I still see it. I know its weird.

It could have to do with being a perfectionist/people pleaser, or it could be hypervigilance, which is a trauma response. It makes it very hard to relax around other people or in certain situations.