[timentimeagain]

I always feared my T might terminate me..like many of you on here..and it will hurt...hurt badly...and i prayed it never happens...

well guess what?

I terminated HIM !!!

yes, yes, yes !!!!

Me....i am choosing to walk away from him. why? because he has been a total jerk to me. he has disrespected me couple of times and i have let it go...he has played mind games(power/control) in various ways..i let him have it...because i needed him. i had no one to talk to. i kept on going back to him.
when little things showed he didnt care much. it didnt matter. i needed him. he listened to me. rest i ignored.

well, last session...was just wow. i decided to walk out in mid session. i threw money on his table(totally stopdog stlye) and left. he was left standing there puzzled. no apology. he was caught off guard. i proudly walked out with my head held high.

i feel so great...to have this ability to stand up for myself..even though it took so so soooo long! i put up with so much crap from him....and most of it was all sugar coated.

even though i dont need his stupid apology !!!! his words and actions clearly showed he didnt care about me at all...if only as a client. if only as a person who pays him. forget about everything personal i shared with him. this was common decency. this was something that was proffessionaly required from him. but he failed to do so.

how do i end this?????

He has sent me an email...and i have NOT read it. I dont want to read it. I dont want to hear his excuses or his apology. i dont care what is in the email, it will not change what he has done. he knows i have not read his email, as it is sent from a private website where i have to log in to read.

i can cancel all appts. and move on.

or

i can read his email and tell him off in my reply then move on.

what is the common courtesy? i want to take the high road...what is the proper way to end it.

should i communicate or its not even worth it if he will get defensive.
i have been seeing him for about a year.

i have not opened the email, as i dont want to even hear his side .
i dont know why. i am just not interested right now.
it could be an apology.
it could be returning the session fee i paid.
it could be putting the blame on me.
i have no idea.

i am looking for a new T.

[ChavInAHat]

Well done!

Personally, I would not read it. Cancel appointments and not go back. The email would make me angry and then I'd worry that I would say something and lost the moral high ground

Hope you find a great new T

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[stopdog]

For me, sometimes the better part of valor is to simply walk away.

[unlockingsanity]

It's hard to get rid of toxic people, so good job!

I can see your dilemma.

In relationships with other people, I've done both things. One time I simply cut off all communication and never spoke to the person again. Another time, I voiced the issues and then stopped all communication.

I guess it's what you want to get out of it. Do you want to just simply leave that part of your life behind or do you want him to know why and how he screwed up?

You could always read the email, and respond if necessary, and then tell him not to contact you any further.

[AllHeart]

Good for you!

For me, taking the high road means finding a way to honor my Self while not showing any hostility towards others. Telling someone off can be done without hostility. That said, any of the options you listed would be just fine.

[timentimeagain]

I can walk away without looking back. I dont need anything from him.
Is it a grown up thing to do that i dont give him a chance to explain his side or hear what he has to say?
For the first time ...i felt that i was his equal. He was no superior to me. Partly cuz he messed up so badly. He fell from my pedastal.
Just wondering if someone is trying to communicate with you...should u listen or just ignore and walk away.

He knows how he screwed up...he is a T so he would know how i felt as well. He was so out of it....he got defensive...then completely quiet...and i took that moment to exit. Cuz he didnt apologize. He was just very puzzled...like what did i just do...and how do i rectify this. So he blamed it on me. I didnt take the blame...and threw it right back at him. Like r u serious...??? U r making a total fool out of yourself now to safe face. He stood there ...not sure what to say...finding the words..but he could not. I told him its okay...it was so awkward...just standing there while he tried to come up with something to say...but couldnt.

Good for you! I think not reading his email is fine or if you want to read it, that's fine too. YOU get to decide. I'm the kind of person who often just walked away from toxic people because I didn't want to deal with a confrontation or any kind of messiness. What I've learned lately is that I have a right to let a toxic person know exactly what they did that was sooooo way out of line. I'm sure you have plenty of examples of his inappropriate narcissistic type behaviors that were out of line and insulting. For me, I recently sent a final email to a person who was trying to walk all over me.

Before the email, I let her know 4 or 5 times what my boundary was but she continued to trample all over it. So, when she sent me an email and asked me if I was "depressed" or ill because I was acting strangely, I calmly and very very clearly wrote her an email that told her exactly what behavior she was exhibiting that ticked me off to the point that I didn't want to be around her any more. I was polite but pointed in my descriptions and I told her that I decided that I no longer wanted to engage in any type of communication or in-person contact with her in the future. It felt great! It was freeing and it wasn't an infantile, bratty or crazy sounding email. If you think that might help you get closure, I encourage you to send him a very specific email about his behavior and cancel all future sessions. Good luck with whatever you decide! And again, congrats for being so strong and decisive!

[Petra5ed]

Go with your gut.

[ilikecats]

Personally, I would have to read it because the curiosity of what it might say would drive me crazy. But you should do whatever you want with it. Sorry your T hurt you.