[ChavInAHat]

Previously with other T's (all short term ones) I have, at one point or another, been annoyed at the T and not wanted to go back or missed sessions.

I haven't had a T for this long (about 30 sessions we have had), for a long long time (12 years), and I thought it was all going ok...

But today for the first time after our session I have felt like I didn't want to go back.

It wasn't a bad session, I was a little annoyed that she kept pushing me to talk about my job that I left 4 years ago. I tried to change the subject but she kept swinging back to it. I get that she wants me to find a place 'to thrive and fit in' but it isn't that simple and there were things that were more important to talk about- especially as we don't have a session next week due to the schools being closed for half term and we both have children.

I also needed to tell her that I had booked an assessment for ASC/ASD but I didn't get a chance- and now the likelihood is that I won't be able to ask her what she thinks or even get her input on the process as she knows me quite well.

Actually if I get the answer at the assessment then I will go to our next session knowing if the specialist has diagnosed me or not.

I know we have a sort of agreement that she will help me when I can't talk by asking questions but I was very much willing to talk and kept changing the subject as I didn't find it important.

I'm no good at saying anything negative because I worry that she will just tell me to find someone else

I probably will go back- but I didn't like the few hours I was figuring out what I will say about missing the session when our kids are back at school.

I don't want this to be the beginning of the end

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[Out There]

It often sounds like you and your T are at cross purposes and not attuned. Healthy assertiveness is to say ' I want to talk about this ". It's not negative. If you don't feel you are being heard or your T doesn't seem to " get " you you will not feel like going back. They go off on a tangent sometimes. Prioritize what you want to talk about.

[CantExplain]

To some extent it is T's job to focus on what you are avoiding.

However, if you tell them point blank that you don't want to talk about it, they should respect that.

[ChavInAHat]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

To some extent it is T's job to focus on what you are avoiding.

I wasn't avoiding though- I don't get why is it important to talk about a job I left 4 years ago. I didn't get into trouble, we didn't talk about why I left- which was due to my daughters special needs. She just kept asking about my boss and what my work day was like.

There was more stuff that we should have talked about- like the thing I emailed her about the following day where she gave a really crap non committal answer because it was in writing. I could have written about my work life out side of the session if she was that interested.



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[A Red Panda]

Have you asked her why she keeps wanting to talk about your past job? I'm curious about her reasoning for it! Did you tell her that you had more important things to talk about, and explain why the past job wasn't a suitable topic that day? If you did then she really should have respected that, but if you didn't then she might have thought you were avoiding it due to it having some bad memories or something? I tend to avoid topics when they make me uncomfortable, but if there is something I am flat out. It going to talk about then I say "I'm not talking about that right now" and he respects that. But I have to make it clear.

[ChavInAHat]

Originally Posted by A Red Panda

Have you asked her why she keeps wanting to talk about your past job? I'm curious about her reasoning for it! Did you tell her that you had more important things to talk about, and explain why the past job wasn't a suitable topic that day? If you did then she really should have respected that, but if you didn't then she might have thought you were avoiding it due to it having some bad memories or something? I tend to avoid topics when they make me uncomfortable, but if there is something I am flat out. It going to talk about then I say "I'm not talking about that right now" and he respects that. But I have to make it clear.

It was more to do with a place that I can 'thrive' that is for me. She wanted to find a place in time where I was doing well. So she kept asking about my work but there wasn't much to tell. No bad memories, no issues.
I liked my job, I did well at my job.

However we were about to have a 2 week break and there were things that she was aware of that are going to be stressful but she focused on me being more sociable- but she knows I find that hard- hence my ASD assessment in 2 weeks

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