[clairelisbeth]

During a very intense session today with my T, I revealed that I love her. She told me that she loves me too. It felt like such a deeply intimate moment, and finding out that my T has love for me feels so healing.

What I feel for her isn't romantic love at all (and it isn't quite mother/child love either) but since I came home, I've felt like I have a warm glow inside. I have other people in my life who love me-friends, a partner, parents....so why does this feel so different and so important? Is what I'm feeling ok?

[Argonautomobile]

I think it's okay. Closeness is among the most beautiful things we can feel in our short and wild little lives. Embrace the glow.

[clairelisbeth]

The weird thing is, I've been feeling so low lately. I've even had some suicidal thoughts creeping in. But right now, I feel so calm and peaceful-could it really all be because T loves me? That seems....wrong somehow?

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[AllHeart]

Originally Posted by clairelisbeth

The weird thing is, I've been feeling so low lately. I've even had some suicidal thoughts creeping in. But right now, I feel so calm and peaceful-could it really all be because T loves me? That seems....wrong somehow?

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Love is a weird and wonderful thing. Nothing wrong at all with how the love from your t makes you feel. In fact, it's all very right.

[BayBrony]

I don't think its just that your T loves you. I think those "deep" moments are very special and give you a kind of glow no matter who they are with. That kind of intimacy is just special. I think its extra special in T because we expose ourselves so completely to our Ts. But it's perfectly great to feel loved and even better to have less self harm thoughts due to feeling loved

[Cinnamon_Stick]

What you are feeling is ok and its normal. I am glad you feel the special love from your T. I have told my T that I love her and she has said she loves me too. I feel the same as you about it. Its not romantic love, my love for my T is maternal. It does feel different and important. I think its the nature of the T relationship. The T relationship is different than any other. You have someone who gives you there undivided attention, really listens to you and cares about you and needs nothing from you while you tell them the deepest things about yourself.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

Originally Posted by clairelisbeth

The weird thing is, I've been feeling so low lately. I've even had some suicidal thoughts creeping in. But right now, I feel so calm and peaceful-could it really all be because T loves me? That seems....wrong somehow?

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Its not wrong. It's so beautiful that you feel peaceful and calm and not suicidal. Love is healing.

I think its ok.
My t and i have a strong, healthy relationship. She and i often say i love you to each other. And it does feel good.

[LonesomeTonight]

I've told my marriage counselor that I love him. He didn't say it back, though I said it in the form of "So if I love you, is that OK?" and he said it was. He has said more recently that he cares about me. And I can feel the caring and maybe even love from him in his eyes and in his voice. I have this warm, fuzzy feeling that lasts a few hours after I see or talk to him, so I get what you mean.

[Petra5ed]

Originally Posted by clairelisbeth

During a very intense session today with my T, I revealed that I love her. She told me that she loves me too. It felt like such a deeply intimate moment, and finding out that my T has love for me feels so healing.

What I feel for her isn't romantic love at all (and it isn't quite mother/child love either) but since I came home, I've felt like I have a warm glow inside. I have other people in my life who love me-friends, a partner, parents....so why does this feel so different and so important? Is what I'm feeling ok?

That's awesome! I had the opposite, my therapist won't say he loves me, perhaps because he doesn't, which has left me questioning everything. It must be nice to know you're loved. I have no idea what that must feel like... Safety?

[Bipolar Warrior]

When my uni therapist said "I love you" during a hug just before the Christmas break, I had a total breakdown about it. I became so depressed. I couldn't handle it. I love that woman so much, but somehow the thought of her loving me was unbearable. I've had to work through it. I think I have come out on the other side, though, and in last week's session I when broke down in tears for the first time, she came and sat next to me and held me for several minutes. She spoke soft, caring words and was stroking my back in soothing circles. And even though I felt really ashamed of myself afterwards, it was a very healing experience.

I am almost ready to accept her love now, and it feels good. Maybe I'll even be ready to say it back at some point. I did tell her in an email over the Christmas break after she had said it to me, but I haven't said it to her face yet. So yes, I think it is perfectly okay to feel the way you feel, and I'm glad you have such a loving relationship with your therapist.

[musinglizzy]

Originally Posted by Petra5ed

That's awesome! I had the opposite, my therapist won't say he loves me, perhaps because he doesn't, which has left me questioning everything. It must be nice to know you're loved. I have no idea what that must feel like... Safety?

Safety, warmth, rise in endorphins.... my T used to tell me she loves me, and I'd walk out of there with my head a bit higher, more confidence in myself, all because I knew that in that room, someone who was hearing every little thing about myself, still loves and cares about me. I found it very healing. And very hurtful when taken away.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by musinglizzy

I found it very healing. And very hurtful when taken away.

Yes indeed.

[clairelisbeth]

Originally Posted by BayBrony

I don't think its just that your T loves you. I think those "deep" moments are very special and give you a kind of glow no matter who they are with. That kind of intimacy is just special. I think its extra special in T because we expose ourselves so completely to our Ts. But it's perfectly great to feel loved and even better to have less self harm thoughts due to feeling loved

Yes, exactly-besides my best friend, she is the person who knows the most about me. She has seen me in my most raw, exposed moments. We've argued. And yet, she loves me, as exactly the person that I am.

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[clairelisbeth]

Originally Posted by Cinnamon_Stick

What you are feeling is ok and its normal. I am glad you feel the special love from your T. I have told my T that I love her and she has said she loves me too. I feel the same as you about it. Its not romantic love, my love for my T is maternal. It does feel different and important. I think its the nature of the T relationship. The T relationship is different than any other. You have someone who gives you there undivided attention, really listens to you and cares about you and needs nothing from you while you tell them the deepest things about yourself.

I'm so glad you've had that experience with your T!

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[clairelisbeth]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

I've told my marriage counselor that I love him. He didn't say it back, though I said it in the form of "So if I love you, is that OK?" and he said it was. He has said more recently that he cares about me. And I can feel the caring and maybe even love from him in his eyes and in his voice. I have this warm, fuzzy feeling that lasts a few hours after I see or talk to him, so I get what you mean.

I could feel the caring from my T also, in her eyes and in her voice. I'm still walking around with this lovely glow inside me.

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[clairelisbeth]

Originally Posted by Petra5ed

That's awesome! I had the opposite, my therapist won't say he loves me, perhaps because he doesn't, which has left me questioning everything. It must be nice to know you're loved. I have no idea what that must feel like... Safety?

I've read your threads, and I'm so sorry that you're having this experience! It sounds incredibly painful. Yes, it's a very safe, cozy feeling.

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[clairelisbeth]

Originally Posted by Bipolar Warrior

When my uni therapist said "I love you" during a hug just before the Christmas break, I had a total breakdown about it. I became so depressed. I couldn't handle it. I love that woman so much, but somehow the thought of her loving me was unbearable. I've had to work through it. I think I have come out on the other side, though, and in last week's session I when broke down in tears for the first time, she came and sat next to me and held me for several minutes. She spoke soft, caring words and was stroking my back in soothing circles. And even though I felt really ashamed of myself afterwards, it was a very healing experience.

I am almost ready to accept her love now, and it feels good. Maybe I'll even be ready to say it back at some point. I did tell her in an email over the Christmas break after she had said it to me, but I haven't said it to her face yet. So yes, I think it is perfectly okay to feel the way you feel, and I'm glad you have such a loving relationship with your therapist.

That sounds like such a lovely moment with your T. I can totally understand feeling that the thought that your T loves you is unbearably painful. At different times in my life, I've felt similarly.

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[clairelisbeth]

Originally Posted by musinglizzy

Safety, warmth, rise in endorphins.... my T used to tell me she loves me, and I'd walk out of there with my head a bit higher, more confidence in myself, all because I knew that in that room, someone who was hearing every little thing about myself, still loves and cares about me. I found it very healing. And very hurtful when taken away.

I've been reading your posts, and I am just so sorry for how your T hurt you. What you've gone through sounds excruciatingly painful. I hope that your new T (T3) can help you find some peace.

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[BudFox]

Originally Posted by musinglizzy

Safety, warmth, rise in endorphins.... my T used to tell me she loves me, and I'd walk out of there with my head a bit higher, more confidence in myself, all because I knew that in that room, someone who was hearing every little thing about myself, still loves and cares about me. I found it very healing. And very hurtful when taken away.

My T never said it. She did care in some unknown way though. But when it was taken away, yea was devastating. In hindsight whatever she was offering me was not curative, it was palliative. Huge difference.