How will/do/did you know when to stop therapy?

This came up on another thread and I was curious: if you ended therapy, how did you know when to end it? Or, how do you think you'll know when to end it - how do you envision the circumstances under which you would know it was time to do that?

I'm not talking about involuntary termination or leaving a bad therapist or switching therapists here; I'm talking about effective therapy that seems to have run its course. How do you know it's time to end? Or do you think the therapist will know and tell you?

For me, I think it would be when I feel happy and comfortable in a therapist's office, when I want to go. It's the discomfort and tension that seem to produce anything helpful out of it for me (I must be descended from oysters). I am betting this is not a standard point of view.

I think an interesting part of your question is when you ask Or do you think the therapist will know and tell you? I have wondered this as well. Actually I wouldn't be surprised if my therapist were to tell me its time for me to stop, though she would probably say "take a break".

Having a chronic mental illness keeps me in therapy. Frankly I need and want the support I get from her. She is the objective voice that keeps me on track when things around me seem to be falling apart. I have gained many coping skills and could probably be fine without therapy. But, as long as I take something away at the end of each session, I will probably stay. I begin my 8th year with her in March.

Aside from having a severe/chronic mental illness, most individuals get the bulk of what they're going to get in the first 3-6 sessions. Some can't quantify it, but others know when it's time to take a break. If you are in therapy, did you have any specific goals? Have you had any success in reaching them? Are you and the T having discussions about this?

I reached a place where I felt like I had worked through my history and had internalized the skills I needed to manage life without needing my therapist to help me process and get through difficult times. We sort of reached that conclusion at about the same time and decided to space out sessions more and just check in every few weeks. After a few sessions at that spacing I really felt completely ready to go it on my own. We left it open-ended, so I had (and still have) the option to go back in as I need to, but I haven't felt that need in a year now and don't predict that I will. I have been able to handle the stressors that have come up, the moments of depression and anxiety, etc. I recognize them early on and am able to proactively handle them so that they just never get to be a serious problem anymore.

It wasn't some huge decision. It was more of a very natural decline in need for his support. No big ending session or anything. Just moved on very easily and naturally.

I think the therapist may know, but I don't think they should tell us when we are done. My therapist said that I would just know, and she was right. I could always find a past wrong, a or present hurt that could have been worked on in therapy, but it would have become a life time oor 10 - 20 years, and I did not want that for me, but it's okay for those that do.
The sign for me was when I no longer grappled 24/7 with wanting to be dead, and when issues came up I dealt with them and my recovery time was much quicker. I no longer needed a therapist, because I could process on my own or reach out for help if I needed it.

I ended 2 prior therapies when it started to feel like a chore to go.
Definitely wasn't done with therapy but didn't know it at the time. It seemed I was no longer getting anything out of the therapies.

I will know when one of us is on our death bed and the nurse is making signs that things have become awkward. Oh, who am I kidding. I won't even know then.

When I can meet my needs in my own life.

That sure resonates with me....

I don't envision that I'll ever be completely without therapy. My mental illness is biological and I've dealt with it since a child. What I do see and what I have seen is the nature of it changing. For me, my goal is to get therapy to a place where it's like if I had a chronic physical condition, I'd be checking in with a professional to help manage it. I have treatment that works (ketamine) but it's still new and I'm still new at it and so my therapist provides support in helping me navigate all of that.

Eventually I envision seeing him or some therapist once every couple of months to touch base.

The ones I see are both in their 70s - retirement or death is not out of the question. I use them to say things I don't say to others - so it is not a need particularly and it will end when they do or when I come up with other things to spend money on.

I have no earthly clue. I just stopped going to my last T's because I felt like I was going round and round in circles, and staying stuck. I sort of reached that point in therapy right now, so I hope my T can help me through it, because if not, I will be done with therapy.

my therapy (CBT) is a program so I knew it would not last forever. We sat down before the therapy and talked about what we wanted to accomplish and what it would 'look like' when we approached that end. As much as I wish to continue to see this therapist I realise now that we are in fact nearing the end of our sessions. I feel very disappointed and at somewhat of a loss.

Did you convey this to the T? What more were you hoping to get out of therapy that you didn't get?

I've never had a therapist suggest that they thought I was ready to "graduate". While having some complicated problems, I'm a fairly low maintenance client, being an unvolatile person with good insurance, so I can never be too sure how these factors balance out where a therapist's inclination to view the relationship as being valuable is concerned.

However, I know that a relationship with a therapist has run its course when I'm no longer learning from the process, and there's always a point at which I've gleaned all I can from a collaboration. This is true whether I've found a therapist to generally be helpful or not. One really great one I was with for many years I got to know so well (he was not the type that was uncomfortable with disclosures) that I felt like I'd fully absorbed his material essence, was absolutely imbued with wisdom he'd had a better chance to come across in life and was able to impart to me, making his perspective a welcome component of my own. It wouldn't have been right for me to pester him with my problems after a certain point, because he had already so generously made his truth a part of my own, so that even though I get along with him great and could gab with him in perpetuity, it was the right thing to do to release my regular appointment so that he could help another person. I don't want to be greedy at the expense of another person's potentially more needed healing.

But the knowing when it's time is the same for me, whether I've found the therapy to be good or bad: when I know I've gotten all I can reasonably get out of the connection, it's time to move on. When I've trusted various providers advising me that they were sure I needed more time with them even when I've felt that not to be the case, the extra time was never worth it, for me... hence my never really being sure as to how the aforementioned factors affect their outlook.

My husband's t told him "When you cancel your session because you want to go fishing, that's when you will be ready to quit therapy."

For me, I think that in order for me to feel ready to quit therapy, I would have to be in a consistent pattern of being able to manage my own problems without having her support or input. Ideally, we would lessen sessions over time, so we could find out if it works, or if I am not ready after all. Once I was able to go once per month a few times, it might be time to try terminating.

I don't think it will happen that way though. My t is 68 years old, and I think she will retire before I'm ready to quit. I hope not, but that is my fear! I don't want to start over with somebody else. I would like to be ready to terminate when she is ready to retire. But we'll see. . .