My therapist cried in session...

Because it was about her and you had to reassure her she hadn't failed. Something therapy shouldn't be.

Knowing how you've struggled and how your T crying would help then I think it could be a breakthrough. I see the flip side too that you might get worried about her feelings too much.

I don't know that I believe there are any absolutes about what therapy shouldn't be in every moment (except sexual activity).

Sometimes therapy is helpful to me (no matter what T is saying or doing) because in those moments I am fully present and I recognize what happened and what I feel. Perhaps this is something that others don't have issues with, but as someone who used to be pretty dissociative it's rather like a revelation.

So for me it would be "T cried, I felt more connected to her and that she understood me better." End of story. No right or wrong, "should" ing on it or not. Just this is what it was, I experienced it and I felt it, end of story, don't need the judgement attached to it.

I agree which is why I responded positively to this but OP asked for ideas as to why people wouldn't think this was good.

Thanks to both responses. I understand both parts now and see why some would say it's proper and others wouldn't agree so much. I guess in the end it's how I felt and if it benefited me or not.

I don't see it as being not right since people cannot control their emotions. But just speaking for my own experience, it may have signaled that my T was becoming too emotionally invested in things. And hence losing the ability to be objective.

I haven't wanted to comment, partly because it's really hard to read these things from the outside, totally blind to the nuances and nature of your relationship. That said, I would want to make sure that your therapist's crying does not put a burden on you to care for her or to alter your own therapy as a way to manage her reactions. You already suffer from taking on burdens that aren't your own. In that light, it's regrettable that your therapist did that; however, if it leads you to open up more of your own emotion and frees you on some level, then it's not harmful. It's all in how this plays out for you--not her.

It definitely made me feel safer, not sure if that's weird or not. Like seeing my T cry because of how it hurts her seeing my like this makes me feel so much closer and thankful about it.

There are definitely different views when it comes to this though for sure.

Having to manage her reactions is certainly a bad thing, probably fatal. It was precisely when I realised I was managing Madame T's reactions that I decided she had nothing more to offer.

On the other hand, the question of whether or not we see T as a human with human feelings is much more controversial. For some, a cold mechanical T is ideal. For others, it destroys the attachment.