The Couch - 109: CIX-Reintroduction

Both shoulder joints injected earlier . now i want to die

(((Hug))) Soft one!

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Ugh! My mind needs to stop. Its racing big time but I guess no time like the present to test my coping skills especially considering I'm trying to get my team on board with my getting off meds.

Im sure your gall bladder is just FIIIIIIIINE

Welcome to the couch, Rainyday!

Welcome rainyday!

I'm feeling lonely.

Bored out of my skull at work. I'm so in

I have been feeling like I am barely keeping my head above water lately, but I will sit quietly next to you on the couch.

Back from the bank, and I just got done making a chocolate pie. Son is quite pleased to have his own checking/savings accounts that he will manage. His paid internship that he got through the program he's in at school will be starting soon, so he's all set now.

And I am sitting here on the couch instead of cleaning my house, because cleaning my house is boring! Ah, wait, the table in front of me has a lot of random papers on it. I can still sit here, and accomplish a little piece of cleaning the house, by going through these papers and getting rid of the junk and filing the saves. That's me, accomplish something while still being lazy. ha ha

(((CE)))

Can anyone recommend a good laptop or tablet/laptop combo that has the ability to take a SIM card? Not burned into a certain network? AT&T only offers the Apple tablets and notebooks and I am not paying that much for one. Also I resent being given no options.

I won't get to create the next couch. For some odd reason this saddens me I'll be traveling for the next two days and might be off of the 'grid' for the next couple of weeks.

I wish you well in your travels, Ellahmae.

If you want, we can spam the couch to make sure we use up the remaining pages before you leave.

All I'm doing it trying to stay alive today, however, I have actually done 7 of the things on my list of things to do page.

Have a safe trip Ellahmae!! I'll be thinking of you.

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I had this huge realization the other day in therapy that has not helped my depression at all. If anything, it seems to have made it worse. I always thought there was just something WRONG with me, that people did not really love me the way I love them. I know intellectually that it is the type of person I am involved with that is really at issue, but I suddenly realized that thinking the problem was me meant the problem was fixable. It gave me hope, that someday, somewhere, I would fix myself and have the kind of love and partnership I feel like I desperately need -- that person who will really have my back and be on my side. If I am not defective, then that means there is no hope. What IS now is just what always will be.

Not sure if this is making any sense. A friend made some really astute comments about how I don't even have my own back because I would hurt myself in an effort to help a friend, and about how what makes me feel safe is not what makes my H feel safe. My attempts at feeling safe probably make my H feel unsafe, and so he finds it very hard to try to create safety for me, because those "safe" actions for me feel so very unsafe to him. It made total sense when she said it. Still not sure I am making sense.

Come and chat, CE. We really don't want you to feel lonely.

Makes sense to me. Quite a bit of sense actually...
Thanks.
I haven't done any on mine and I leave in 12 hours and have so much to do I don't want to do any of it.
Genius idea!
Thank you, Bread.

Yes, come and chat CE. More chatting = more opportunity for me to create new couch (less fancy and large this time)

Boo. ....

I have to mix it up

I have an ipad pro 4g that I use an external bluetooth keyboard for but in all honesty it does not replace my macbook which I simply connect with my phone if I need the internet for it if not at home. I have heard good things about chromebooks - I think it sort of depends on what you are looking to do with the device.
Have you seen this article
Best tablets with cell service - CNET

I am not sure any one other can do that for someone else - for me it is a combination of people who I see has doing that - although I admit I rarely think of others as having my back or not. It is not a particular thing for me.

I do know that with my current SO - we have had to adjust because we want opposite responses when things are going rough for each of us. What she wants (and tried to do for me) was awful for me and created the exact opposite of what she was going for = and me with her. So we sort of had to agree to just do the opposite like when she is upset, she wants me there and holding her etc. When I am upset, I need tons of space and to not talk about it and no touching -that sort of thing.