The Couch - 109: CIX-Reintroduction

OK, that was much longer than I'd intended. Short version: Met 5-year-old from neighborhood who seemed kinda clingy for a kid who just met me and who was looking for food. Is my sense that something's not right worth checking into, or am I just a sucker?

I figure this is the most appropriate place to ask about this. OK, so this afternoon, I was outside with my 4-year-old (who is borderline on the autism spectrum, thought that's not particularly relevant to this story) in front of our townhouse, which is in a big development of townhouses. She tripped and fell on the grass (was fine), and was having a bit of a meltdown when this other girl who I'd never seen before came running up. She started talking to me, saying she was 5 but would be 6 later this year and that her parents let her walk around on her own. Said she had 2 sisters and 3 brothers. Told me her name (my daughter had calmed down a bit by then but didn't seem too interested in new girl).

Then just kept hanging around, talking to me, which was nice in a way because my daughter is behind in language and talks but doesn't really do the back-and-forth conversation thing (she recently tested at about 3 years 0 months in speech/language, even though she turns 5 next month). So part of me was enjoying talking to her and her responding to me.

But at one point, she was saying how she doesn't have any snacks in the house and was hungry, so I went in and got her a snack and a juice box. She was talking about things like how they had a dog, but it ran away, and how her mom and dad don't work, just her grandma does, etc. And I was just getting a bit of a weird vibe, like maybe something was off with her. Then at one point, shortly before my H came home, I was sitting on the steps (D was playing in yard), and the girl was standing next to me, playing with my hair, commenting on how soft it was and that she knew how to do braids. She just seemed to be leaning really close to me for someone she had just met. When H got home, she mentioned again being hungry, so I got her a granola bar, and she headed off after H and I were starting to head inside.

Of course, H said I shouldn't have given her food, which I know was probably bad because now she'll keep coming around wanting it. But I just got this weird sense, like, maybe it was just that she doesn't get much attention at home (like, they're letting their 5-year-old wander around), but maybe it was something more than that. And she was trying to reach out to me. Maybe it's just that she doesn't get enough to eat or that she doesn't get the emotional connection she needs , just because she was seeming rather clingy to someone she'd just met.

I'm someone who tends to be particularly empathic and sensitive to other people's emotional states--my T has commented on my ability to read people and sense things. So I wonder if it was something like that going on here, that this girl just needed someone. Or was I just being a sucker, and she was doing an act, and now she'll keep showing up asking for food? H was like, "Don't believe anything she says." But something jumps out at me. She was coughing right after she ate the one snack, and I asked if she was OK. And she was like "Why are you asking me that?" Like either she didn't realize it was because I thought she may have been choking or because no one ever asks her that.

I don't know, I'm going to bring it up to my T tomorrow, since she's an LCSW and might have some sense. But I just have this feeling something isn't quite right, though maybe I"m just being played. If it's the latter, I don't want to have to try to avoid this girl, since my D loves running outside. If it's the former, I don't know if I should try to contact someone, like her school, social services, etc., just to make sure she's OK. Thoughts?

Sort of just below my right shoulder blade.

I don't know what the laws are -- could you check with your T or someone else if your checking up on her (E.g. calling social services etc) could be done discreetly? Or, would that necessarily entail some sort of action on their part?

Mostly because while the kid's safety is crucial, I'd also worry a bit about what'll happen to the kid if social services visits and then determines all's well but the kid's caregivers end up punishing the kid somehow for it?

Sorry, not to make your conundrum more complicated.

I have this really strange pain in my back. My skin burns when I touch it but it feels like someone is stabbing my lung.

That woulld raise alarm bells with me too. But I have experienced the opposite where young child befriends my child and steals from us. But go with your gut. I meant the scenario with food etc was similar...

So if a kid keeps approaching a stranger for food and attention something is very wrong in her home life.I tried to contact her school or something

Gall bladder - fair fat and forty. Did you eat something greasy? Do you have to burp? Are you getting enough water? Do you hear rumbly things on your right side? I sound like an aquarium sometimes. Blup blup blup up and down. r

TR I don't know if there is a rash. i live by myself and don't have any mirrors/ Of course I could ask my youngest.

Got zero done yesterday but hoping today is more productive. Couch, I like that I can come here for a short break when I need it. Thank you for not being quite so comfortable that I stay all day.

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I know it's late, but would anyone care to pocket ride with me to my pdoc appointment? It's in 2 hr 50 minutes.

I know it's late, but would anyone care to pocket ride with me to my pdoc appointment? It's in 2 hr 50 minutes.

EEWW! I accidently ate fruit. It was ina museli bar thing.