Birthday present for T?

I'm sure it depends on your relationship. My T and I have exchanged lots of small things like shells we found etc. In the case of the bracelet I made certain shed accept something I'd made ( she's seen examples of my beadwork so she knew what she was getting). I knew it would crush me if she refused it because of the work involved in making it. So before I made it i checked with her and she was actually so excited that she kept asking me if it was done yet : ).

I didn't have to ask about the shells etc BC she gave me one first.
I'm always one to lean toward asking.
And like I said I really was surprised by how huge my feelings about the gift were, so think that through. Of course for me it was not just a gift but a piece of art I designed and spent many hours making so maybe you would not have so many strong feelings.

Starry and her T have their own relationship that works for them. Unless someone is asking for advice I don't think its supportive or fairvto criticize T relationships you don't know anything about.

My T has conversations with my spirit animals and at our last session she tickled me for several minutes straight because I teased her about something. There are all kinds of unique relationships out there that don't fit a mold. My T and I have worked together for 4 year . Some boundaries are important to her. Others. Like physical closeness or saying " I love you" are not important to her.

I'd prefer people avoid judging other people's T relationships unless someone is asking for help or advice.

Starry and her T have their own relationship that works for them. Unless someone is asking for advice I don't think its supportive or fairvto criticize T relationships you don't know anything about.


My T has conversations with my spirit animals and at our last session she tickled me for several minutes straight because I teased her about something. There are all kinds of unique relationships out there that don't fit a mold. My T and I have worked together for 4 year . Some boundaries are important to her. Others. Like physical closeness or saying " I love you" are not important to her.


I'd prefer people avoid judging other people's T relationships unless someone is asking for help or advice.

Thank you! I thought long and hard about what I wanted to give her. I remember you saying your T gave you a necklace. That is so special. What did she say to you when she gave it to you?

I'm all for close relationships with T's, this is what makes therapy work. I'm close to mine, like I said before. But we all have our own boundaries based on our own therapeutic experiences.
I'm not judging in any way, just giving my opinion and advice

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My point was, advice is best directed towards people who ask for advice . otherwise it discourages people from being honest about their experiences. Starry was just sharing her experience and didn't ask anyone to comment on whether her T relationship Is appropriate. Unless someone says they feel.uncomfortable/confused/ need advice I think its best to assume they are safe in their relationship.

My point was, advice is best directed towards people who ask for advice . otherwise it discourages people from being honest about their experiences. Starry was just sharing her experience and didn't ask anyone to comment on whether her T relationship Is appropriate. Unless someone says they feel.uncomfortable/confused/ need advice I think its best to assume they are safe in their relationship.

I agree with the comments that each therapist-client relationship (well, each human-human relationship) is unique and if something works and is beneficial, it's a good idea to sustain it. I have the same opinion on boundaries in general.

That said, I have never been big on anniversaries, holidays etc and would not give a birthday gift to my T (don't even celebrate my own bday). No idea when his bday is and I don't think he knows mine either. What I would consider though is if we have done something special together, like a breakthrough in our work, I might acknowledge that with some sort of creative symbolic gift. I think anything that carries a meaning can be interesting to share especially if we are open and willing to explore the significance of both the gifting and the gift together.

I agree with the comments that each therapist-client relationship (well, each human-human relationship) is unique and if something works and is beneficial, it's a good idea to sustain it. I have the same opinion on boundaries in general.

That said, I have never been big on anniversaries, holidays etc and would not give a birthday gift to my T (don't even celebrate my own bday). No idea when his bday is and I don't think he knows mine either. What I would consider though is if we have done something special together, like a breakthrough in our work, I might acknowledge that with some sort of creative symbolic gift. I think anything that carries a meaning can be interesting to share especially if we are open and willing to explore the significance of both the gifting and the gift together.

In December I gave my T a journal I made. Inside it I wrote all the ways therapy has helped me and how she has helped me and all the changes that have happened in my life because of therapy and then at the end I wrote her a little personal note. She loves it. She almost cried when I gave it to her and I have seen it on her desk. I put so much time and effort into it and its so wonderful that she loves it and appreciates it so much!

To me that's really unprofessional.
There's a fine line between good therapist & client relationship and bad therapist & client relationship. This one rings alarms bells to me.

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Has anyone ever given there T a birthday present? What did you give her? How did she respond?


My T gave me one of those adult coloring books for my birthday and so I thought it would be symbolic for me to color a picture from it and give it to her for her birthday. I also got a pair of crystal necklaces and I want to give her one and then I would have one, so we would both have one.

My opinion is anything above and beyond a greeting card and an extremely small token of appreciation (i.e., a $5.00 gift certificate to Starbucks or something similar, etc.) is inappropriate.

I believe gift-giving to be a true art form that can enhance our relationships with those in our lives but at the end of the day he / she is paid in some way, shape or form to do one thing; that tasking being to provide you with mental health treatment. Period.

He or she isn't going to like you any more or less - at least if they're any good at their job - based on the gifts you give them.

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I don't give my T gifts in order for her to like me more! I give them because of how much I like and appreciate HER. "Providing me with mental health treatment: period" is not the way my T does therapy. She and I have a close relationship, with boundaries, of course, and because of that relationship, healing occurs. Not everyone has the same relationship with their Ts.

My opinion is anything above and beyond a greeting card and an extremely small token of appreciation (i.e., a $5.00 gift certificate to Starbucks or something similar, etc.) is inappropriate.

I believe gift-giving to be a true art form that can enhance our relationships with those in our lives but at the end of the day he / she is paid in some way, shape or form to do one thing; that tasking being to provide you with mental health treatment. Period.

He or she isn't going to like you any more or less - at least if they're any good at their job - based on the gifts you give them.



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I don't give my T gifts in order for her to like me more! I give them because of how much I like and appreciate HER. "Providing me with mental health treatment: period" is not the way my T does therapy. She and I have a close relationship, with boundaries, of course, and because of that relationship, healing occurs. Not everyone has the same relationship with their Ts.