[retro_chic]

So my last T session was two weeks ago and after that I emailed my T telling her I was quitting only to email her again a few days later saying I want to come back.

I am nervous about my session tomorrow but also excited because I have missed my T quite a lot and I seem to have a renewed enthusiasm for therapy so I'm hoping it will be a productive session.

[Out There]

I wish you well , things can often be productive after breaks. I've gone into deeper stuff with my T recently and have had more space to process it.

I have found breaks to be helpful in the past. The longest break I took was like 2 months, and I felt the same way, a renewed enthusiasm and commitment to my process once I went back, and we took my work to a whole 'nother level. I'm taking another break in fact after my next session, this one for about a month, t calls it time to "percolate". I wish you well!

[retro_chic]

Thank you both for the replies! I have high hopes for this session and I really hope I'm not disappointed 😬

Originally Posted by retro_chic

Thank you both for the replies! I have high hopes for this session and I really hope I'm not disappointed 😬

I admire your bravery.

[retro_chic]

Originally Posted by Walkedthatroad

I admire your bravery.

Thank you, although I wouldn't consider myself brave!

[retro_chic]

UPDATE

The session went pretty well! I felt I was more open and more present this time which made the session feel much more productive than my previous ones.

We spoke about my fear of abandonment and how I'm scared that she is going to leave me. T told me she's not planning on going anywhere which was nice to hear . A weird thing that happened though was when it came time to end the session I felt kind of upset about it like T was abandoning me even though it is just the end of the session. I know it sounds ridiculous and hate that I feel so clingy. I then started thinking about the session I had two weeks ago and how I arrived just in time for it (because I was rushing from work) and T's previous client was still there talking to T in the waiting room. When I arrived T finished up the conversation and the client left and we started our session. I feel jealous that that client got to spend and extra 10 minutes with T (the sessions are 50min). I know this is something I should talk to my T about but I am afraid it will make me unlikeable and I really want my T to like me and not dread seeing me every week.

The other thing is, before this whole "quitting and then returning" scenario, my T would always say at the end of the session "Same time next week?" like it was just a given and she was happy to continue seeing me. This time she asked me "What would you like to do? would you like to book another session?" and I had the thought that maybe she is was hoping I would say no. I know this is stupid and she was only asking me because I quit before and was unsure of what to do. Ugh, I feel like the most annoying person in the world.

Also, I'm sorry this kind of deviated from the original topic!

Originally Posted by retro_chic

UPDATE

The other thing is, before this whole "quitting and then returning" scenario, my T would always say at the end of the session "Same time next week?" like it was just a given and she was happy to continue seeing me. This time she asked me "What would you like to do? would you like to book another session?" and I had the thought that maybe she is was hoping I would say no. I know this is stupid and she was only asking me because I quit before and was unsure of what to do. Ugh, I feel like the most annoying person in the world.

Also, I'm sorry this kind of deviated from the original topic!

It sounds like she is taking care to show she respects your autonomy, and not make any assumptions, which is a good thing. If you would like her to revert to "same time next week?" there's no harm in telling her so!
Well done for listening to your needs, taking a break when you needed and returning when it felt right!

[Tangerine87]

Originally Posted by Echos Myron

It sounds like she is taking care to show she respects your autonomy, and not make any assumptions, which is a good thing. If you would like her to revert to "same time next week?" there's no harm in telling her so!
Well done for listening to your needs, taking a break when you needed and returning when it felt right!

When you take a break, can you see another t?

[retro_chic]

Originally Posted by Tangerine87

When you take a break, can you see another t?

I guess I could although I only missed one session when I took this break so I don't think there would be much point and I don't think I will be taking another break anytime soon.

[retro_chic]

Originally Posted by Echos Myron

It sounds like she is taking care to show she respects your autonomy, and not make any assumptions, which is a good thing. If you would like her to revert to "same time next week?" there's no harm in telling her so!
Well done for listening to your needs, taking a break when you needed and returning when it felt right!

Yes, logically I can see this but the insecure part of me still comes up with all sorts of things to make me think T doesn't like me even though it doesn't make any sense at all.

Originally Posted by Tangerine87

When you take a break, can you see another t?

Yes, you can if you choose. I did. In the end I stayed with T2 and terminated with T1.