[ThingWithFeathers]

Has anyone else experienced a joint session with a family member? Or, if not, what do you think about the idea?

My mum and I are having one soon and I'm anxious about it.

[Chummy]

I have. A while ago I had my mum coming with me to a session. I needed to tell her some things, but it was really hard for me. My T suggested to have my mum at a session, so T's also there to help me. It was still really hard for me, but it went kind of alright.

Last week my T has said that we could do another session with my mum or dad or brother or all three of them. There are some issues going on at home. And some unsolved issues from the past. Especially with my brother. It's mostly causing problems for me.
I'm not sure if I want that. I'm worried about having therapy with my brother. I'm still a sort of afraid of him.

[nottrustin]

I had my Husband join me a couple of times when I needed to tell him about things from my childhood. Before the appointment T and I planned out what I would tell him. We discussed what he needed to know and what he didn't. We also discussed what she would say and what she would not. I had to stay the conversation, a signal I would use if it was to much, etc. It was scary but we prepared for it so it was okay

[ThingWithFeathers]

My t and I have also spent some time figuring out what I want to say and how my t can help me. So that's a good sign. I'm most worried about it getting too emotional - I'm not close to my mum like that. I don't trust her enough to be vulnerable around her.

[granite1]

my T has always stated that she is my T and here for me and has no interest in meeting the mother or any of my family. i mean im sure she would if i really wanted her to but i doubt it would be all that productive . i guess it is different if you are a minor though

Current t is like granite's - she has stated that she is my t and here for me and doesn't want to bring anyone else's energy into our sessions. I was so happy to hear her say that, because a long time ago with t2, I was probably like 23 at the time, I brought my mom with me one time but she sat there and lied her face off about how she couldn't understand why I needed therapy and how perfect our family was bla bla bla. It really ticked me off to have to pay for that session. But I learned my lesson, my t is my t and no one else will ever come with me again!!!

However, I am still trying to talk h into getting couple's counseling with someone else, but he steadfastly refuses.

I've had several joint sessions over the years that have gone well. It helped that everyone was there to truly be supportive and respectful, and my T is specifically trained in family therapy. I never found them to be a problem, but much depends on who will be coming to the session and how straight they will be with your therapist. I never feared those who were coming would be anything but honest and supportive, so that was never an issue.

[divine1966]

No. Never had a need. Someone on this forum had several sessions with her in laws and it was kind of a disaster.

It depends what is the goal here

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[ThingWithFeathers]

Originally Posted by divine1966

No. Never had a need. Someone on this forum had several sessions with her in laws and it was kind of a disaster.

It depends what is the goal here

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The goal is threefold. First I want to gather information to make a decision about where our relationship is heading. I have for some time now questioned my relationship with her and the future of it. I also want to give her a chance to change, to address some of the issues we have and see if, in time, she is willing to make positive changes. Finally, I want her to hear about how our family trauma has affected me so she understands some of my behaviours.

We are not emotionally close and she lives in denial about how severe our family problems are. So it could go badly. But that would just give me information on which to base the future of our relationship.

Sounds like difficult but important stuff. I hope it goes well for you.

[Chummy]

My T has also said that she's my T. But a joint session can be helpful for you, depends on what the goal is. I had some problems with my brother and it also caused some problems with my parents. I've never really been an open person. I find it hard to talk about emotional things to my parents. So to do it in a session where my T could help me could be helpful for me. My T had said that it's my session and she's my T, so it's my decision. I decide what I want to tell. My T would sit there with us and I would do the word. And T would help me when I asked her.

I don't think I'll do a joint session again soon. This is the last month before T's going on leave and then I'll have a replacement T. I don't want to do it on so short notice and with so little time with T left when that session would be done.
So it won't happen in the coming 6 months.

If you do want to do a joint session, think about it good. How do you want it to go. What do you want T's roll to be during that session. Talk with your T about what you want to discuss and what not and what you want T to do if things don't go right. That kind of stuff.

my psychologist often asks if i would like a joint session with my mother i am not ready nor do i have the energy for this.

[ThingWithFeathers]

So ... The session is tomorrow. I'm trying not to predict how it will go, but I'm very anxious. I will just have to see how it goes.

[Demunie]

Good luck! I'm sure you'll be fine. Tell us how it went.

[ThingWithFeathers]

Wow, um okay. Having a joint session with someone is a whole new world of vulnerable. If you want an intense session, bring someone else to it!

It was an emotionally fraught session and I am exhausted. I haven't processed it all yet. There was so much said and so much let unsaid. I need time to think ...

[SingDanceRunLife]

I've had a few with my mom, and they were very uncomfortable...but good for me overall because my T could see what I was talking about with my relationship with my mom and how she treats me etc.