'Knowing' T without knowing.

We talk about what's the relationship. We talk about wanting to know T's personal details to know her.

Well, here's my experience of the relationship workout knowing T's personal live.

Before the easter break, I just asked T, was she going away? (We chat about the traveling we do). T said only up north, as she has a family wedding.

The session continued, it was a tense one, I was having some difficult thoughts and went quite. T asked what was happening? I said "since you said you were going up north, I've got git that phrase "It's grim up north" on a loop in my head". T said, that's holding you together right now.

Forward to last night - It's nearly 2weeks since that session ams we're due back next week - and T's normal photo/email pops up in my in box - she always sends one during a break - is a picture of blue sky and trees -T knows I adore the tree I face out her window in our room - and T said in the email "an unused rail track and siding just passed Yorkshire. Not to grim at this point".

We'll, I literally lol'd when I read that. But it also held that connection between her and I. I actually expected that sort of response from her. That 'grim' moment between us. Something shared between us. I knew her well enough to anticipate her remembering that. And it also felt like our thing. If they makes sense.
That's the relationship. And that's knowing her, without knowing 'her'.

Umm...wow.

Love this.

I don't get too hung up on 'knowing' my therapist. I see her best side, and that's enough.

That's a good feeling isn't it? Kind of shared thing almost like "inside joke".

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My t calls that holding you in mind. He says thats not something my mother did. Even when i was right there in front of her, she didnt see me.

That was lovely.

Thank you for sharing this.

Ditto. My therapist says that was one of my mom's top 5 bad things
"Oh my, I have a daughter🤔"

It's a nice feeling to be thought about. And there's definitely intimacy involved in inside jokes. Nice, too, when knowing what T chooses to tell about herself, it can be 'enough' even when it isn't.