[retro_chic]

So my session this evening was interesting. I can't decide if it was a good session or not but I guess it doesn't have to be just one or the other.

Anyway, I started off by telling T I'm worried she finds me annoying and will get sick of me because a couple of sessions ago she was saying how usually the client does most of the talking and I have trouble opening up etc. When I told T about this she said that was interesting because last week I was talking about how in romantic relationships I feel like I need to act a certain way to please the other person and she was thinking about it afterwards and wondering if I feel that way in other relationships too. It may not seem like a big deal but I found it really nice to know that T doesn't stop thinking about me as soon as the session finishes .

The other thing I talked to T about was that I've been wondering if I have BPD. I paused for what felt like forever before I actually managed to bring it up. T asked me a lot of questions like how did I come across the term, what makes me think I have it, how does it make me feel and so on but never actually told me if I have it or not. I said that I worry that if I have it is something I'm going to have to deal with for the rest of my life and that having it makes me unlikable. T said that is why labels like that are often unhelpful. I'm kind of irritated and disappointed that she couldn't just tell me if she thinks I have it or not. I just want to know what I should be expecting from myself and what sort of goals I should be setting and stuff like that. I think if I knew at least then I'd have an explanation for my issues rather that thinking I'm just being dramatic and need to "get over it".

I guess I will need to discuss all of this further with T next session...

Sorry that your T wouldn't tell you if you had BPD or not. Maybe she doesn't feel comfortable diagnosing you? It might not be personal. Some T's don't want to hurt their patients by accidentally diagnosing them with the wrong thing.

You can always ask your T in your next session, and I would encourage you to do so because I can tell it's bothering you. If she doesn't tell you, you can always ask her why. Can't hurt! Besides, she might offer you some advice on who you could see to get a proper diagnosis.

If you see a psychiatrist, I think s/he is the person you should bring it up to.

[retro_chic]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Sorry that your T wouldn't tell you if you had BPD or not. Maybe she doesn't feel comfortable diagnosing you? It might not be personal. Some T's don't want to hurt their patients by accidentally diagnosing them with the wrong thing.

You can always ask your T in your next session, and I would encourage you to do so because I can tell it's bothering you. If she doesn't tell you, you can always ask her why. Can't hurt! Besides, she might offer you some advice on who you could see to get a proper diagnosis.

If you see a psychiatrist, I think s/he is the person you should bring it up to.

I will be asking my T about all of this next session.

Unfortunately I don't see a psychiatrist. I just see my GP for med stuff and I'm actually seeing them tomorrow to talk about coming off my medication because it is making me sweat a lot and it is not even helping me at all anyway. I'm not sure if I will even bother to try something else because I'm just so over it but that's a whole other topic.

Hopefully it goes well

Maybe you're just on a medication that doesn't work for you. There are several different types of antidepressants out there... SSRIs, SNRIs, MAOIs, tricyclics, atypicals, etc.. Each type of antidepressant targets a different mechanism in the brain. So, maybe you're on a SSRI and it doesn't work... That means your depression might not be due to serotonin issues. You could try a MAOI instead (for example).

I would talk to your doctor about trying a different class of antidepressants. If you're taking an SSRI that doesn't work (for example), then other SSRIs probably won't work either.

[retro_chic]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Hopefully it goes well

Maybe you're just on a medication that doesn't work for you. There are several different types of antidepressants out there... SSRIs, SNRIs, MAOIs, tricyclics, atypicals, etc.. Each type of antidepressant targets a different mechanism in the brain. So, maybe you're on a SSRI and it doesn't work... That means your depression might not be due to serotonin issues. You could try a MAOI instead (for example).

I would talk to your doctor about trying a different class of antidepressants. If you're taking an SSRI that doesn't work (for example), then other SSRIs probably won't work either.

Yeah, I've been on an SSRI before and it didn't help so I am on an SNRI now which doesn't seem to help either. I'm going to see how things go tapering off this medication and if it doesn't go well then I might have to see a Pdoc... I'd rather not though because it's expensive and I'm already out of pocket quite a lot with this T I'm seeing.

Yeah, I hope it works out for you. I know that some people with depression have issues finding a med that works, then their pdoc prescribes a med like Latuda or Lamictal, even though they're technically "bipolar" meds. So, that might be an option to consider as well.

Have you thought about bipolar? You mentioned BPD which has similar-ish symptoms. So, you could always try a bipolar med if you get tired of trying antidepressants. Latuda takes anywhere from 3 days to a week to work. It's pretty fast.

[retro_chic]

So I saw a GP this morning (not my usual one because she is still on maternity leave) and it was a huge waste of time. She basically told me to just take my medication every second day for a week (I am on the lowest dose and the pill can't be split) and then stop. I'm just like really?? I was taking this medication a few years ago and was seeing a Pdoc then who told me to taper off I should take it every second day for two weeks then every third day for two weeks and then stop. I think I'm going to just do the same thing this time.

The GP prescribed me Prozac and said I could take it if I felt my symptoms were getting worse after I stop my current medication. I don't trust this doctor's opinion so I'm not going to do that. I am just so over this whole thing. I have wasted so much time and money over the years and it has got me nowhere.

Also, I don't think I have Bipolar. My moodiness is more of a fluctuation between depression, anxiety, anger and emptiness. Theres no "euphoric" kind of moods that would be associated with Bipolar. Also my moods change too quickly for it to be Bipolar. A lot of the other symptoms of BPD seem to fit me so that's why I'm leaning more towards that.