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View Poll Results: Do you care/want/believe the therapist will remember you | ||||||
Yes I care/want/ and believe the therapist will remember me specifically after therapy ends |
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41 | 65.08% | |||
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Yes I care/want it but don't believe it will happen |
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8 | 12.70% | |||
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No - what would be the point |
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1 | 1.59% | |||
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Not really - I don't care one way or the other |
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5 | 7.94% | |||
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Maybe for a short while the therapist will |
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3 | 4.76% | |||
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I doubt I will remember the therapist in any specific way |
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0 | 0% | |||
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Other |
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5 | 7.94% | |||
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Voters: 63. You may not vote on this poll |
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#26
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It's creepy to me to think of bring remembered by a therapist. I would only wish that he would know how he hurt me and not do the same to someone else. Other than that I find it really weird and very creepy.
Sent from my XT1565 using Tapatalk |
#27
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Quote:
__________________
Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
#28
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I both hope and believe that my current T and marriage counselor will remember me. I've been with my T for over 4 years, and I feel like in the past year we've become closer (in an appropriate way). She's even admitted recently to getting a bit too close to me emotionally, and I think she has some maternal countertransference. She also mentions some past clients (confidentially) and seems to remember some fondly.
I think MC will remember me partly because of the whole transference thing--I know he's had it happen to him before, but I don't get the sense it was with a marriage counseling client. And there just seems to be a real connection there, like a kindred spirit sort of thing (nothing inappropriate). Plus he also mentions some former clients, though anonymously. And hey, I recently accidentally called him a "moron," which seems kinda memorable ![]() I think much of whether T's will remember certain clients is partly related to how long they saw a particular client and what the relationship was like. Like I doubt the guy I saw in college for a few months remembers me. The one I saw for a year or so in my 20s--hard to say, but I wouldn't expect her to remember. But if you see someone for years, then they'd remember. Or if you saw them only for, say, 6 months but particularly affected them in some way, like you had some unique issues or you just really got into their mind or heart in some way. As for why it matters...in general, I just want to think that people remembered me, whether exes, former teachers, friends I've lost touch with, etc. I want to think that I made enough of an impression on them that they remember me. Of course I don't expect them all to do so, and of course I don't remember everyone from my past (and for ones I do, it's not all fond memories). I guess it's wanting to think I'm special in some way, which sounds kinda pathetic, maybe, but I think that's at the heart of it. Well, and that I touched someone's life, even in some tiny way. |
![]() rainbow8
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![]() Myrto, rainbow8
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#29
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I was one of my therapist's very first clients and have worked with him individually and in groups for 6 years, he has taken over 1000 pages' worth of notes about me, and I am his colleague in our small psychotherapy community. He has all the reasons to remember me (including the fact that we'll likely meet once in a while after therapy ends) and if he doesn't I'd feel like I really truly meant nothing for him, if he can't remember even with all those factors that are likely to help him remember. I generally have an issue around not feeling I matter to people, so this is why it's important to me. For me it's also a reciprocity issue - I gave him a lot of trust and personal openness, I would expect at least to be remembered. You know, at least the very basic things - name, approximate age, main issues, the fact that I was one of his first and longest term clients, ... I don't expect him to remember very detail aspects in the long run, but I want him to remember me and I'm pretty sure he will. Besides, he has even said on a few occasions that he is attached to me and he'd have his own grief process to deal with when we end therapy, so there's that, too.
Last edited by brillskep; Apr 08, 2016 at 03:54 PM. |
![]() LonesomeTonight, rainbow8
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#30
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I would like to think that my T will remember me when we finish, and I actually think they she will, for a certain time anyway. Why? Because my relationship with her is the first time that I have felt valued in my life and her remembering me would mean, to me anyway, that this was real, that I am worthwhile. As someone else said, if you have made an impression on someone's heart then I can't help but believe they will remember.
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![]() brillskep
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![]() brillskep, LonesomeTonight
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#31
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I have a feeling my T will remember me because she keeps saying I have taught her a lot and she is holding me inside of her heart. We are also staying in touch when therapy ends and she has said we can get together once in awhile to catch up so we can keep the relationship, just end the therapeutic part of it. I want to be remembered by people I have known for years.
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![]() brillskep, Schizoid_1
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#32
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It doesn't matter to me.
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#33
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I guess I do want to think that in a way. I think some of my issues are such that he will remember me (unless his memory starts going - he's pretty old!)
I know T1 remembers me as he contacted me out of the blue, but I wish he had kept it to himself... |
![]() brillskep, kecanoe, LonesomeTonight
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#34
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I guess it depends on how long you are their client, and how crazy you (or your family) are. I dont think anybody is forgetting me anytime soon!
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![]() awkwardlyyours, brillskep, Schizoid_1
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![]() atisketatasket, awkwardlyyours, BonnieJean, brillskep, kecanoe, LonesomeTonight
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#35
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I hope my therapist (and the ones in the past) remember me fondly.
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![]() brillskep
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#36
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I feel like my therapist will remember me. I feel reasonably memorable and I've seen the guy for years. He's seen me through a lot, and our working relationship has been really excellent . If he did forget me I'd pretty much regard it as a sign he was going doddery. Which of course is a fate that could befall any of us!
Just edited to add that this doesn't mean I'd expect him to remember my name or recognize me out on the street - I'm useless with both names and faces, so I expect little of people in that way. More that he'd remember my story and our relationship, once he jiggled his memory bank a bit. |
#37
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I imagine it depends a lot on how long a T sees a particular client and maybe what they work on together. Probably there's no such thing as a "normal client" (or if there is I don't know what that would be) but some issues/situations might be more unusual than others. Not sure it's really comparable to teaching, at least for me teaching doesn't involve a lot of one-on-one conversation.
I think my T will probably remember me at least in a general way. |
#38
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I do have a lot of one on one contact with my students. It doesn't help me remember them necessarily.
I am a fairly uninteresting client - my reasons for going were not all that interesting or unique, my childhood and complaints are fairly usual, and I am not all that exciting of a person to interact with. I mean, I am good with friends and have had the same group for around 30 or so years - I expect them to remember me -but not some therapist. I probably won't remember much about the therapist either.
__________________
Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. Last edited by stopdog; Apr 08, 2016 at 04:13 PM. |
![]() Schizoid_1
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#39
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You're quite memorable on PC though stopdog!
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![]() atisketatasket, brillskep, Elkino, Schizoid_1, seoultous, stopdog
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#40
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I care if my T will remember me, and I want her to. I'd like to think she will, but I'm not sure. I feel like the T and client relationship is much more intimate than the teacher and student relationship, so I'd expect my T to remember me much more than a teacher. I think it's important to me because I know I'll remember my T forever, and because it'd make me feel like I really mattered to her. I'm hoping to never have to terminate with my T, but if we ever do, I really hope she remembers me and thinks of me from time to time.
Sent from my SM-G925V using Tapatalk
__________________
"The illusion of effortlessness requires a great effort indeed." |
#41
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#42
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I would guess several - how else would people do it?
__________________
Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
#43
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I believe standard practice is to hand the money to the therapist. I either do that or gently lay it on the table between us.
Someday I should try tucking it in her G-string. ![]() As for ending on time, so many clients before me have been out a little late that I don't think clients supervising their time is typical. |
![]() awkwardlyyours
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#44
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I am not getting close enough to the woman to know anything about a g-string.
And I keep the table between us so that is the natural place to toss the money. I would never ever turn time over to the woman.
__________________
Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
![]() awkwardlyyours
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#45
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Ex-T and ex-counselor, both from 10+ years ago, remember me. I ran into my ex-counselor at a dr. appt. It took her a sec because I changed my hair color, but she remembered. My ex-T and I communicated up until last year. Last time she told me she still had a pin I made her.
Do I want to be remembered? Only by those that really made a difference in my life. And I'm pretty sure they would remember me.
__________________
"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
#46
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For me it's all about the relationship and how strong it was. There are ts I seen once or twice that I don't want to remember and I believe that a few ts will remember me. I would like to believe they were meaningful relationships with an "I thou" aspect.
My t often thinks of me between sessions and there is one t that probably remembers me in her nightmares. I believe that t will remember me because we laugh so much and then I cry and then she gets frustrated, I believe she will remember me for as long as she can. We both learned and grew through our relationship together! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
#47
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I believe the two I really opened up to will remember me. Maybe that's just because I want to believe that. It's about having made a genuine human connection, and I have made so few of those in my life that I can count them on my fingers.
The other five or six probably don't remember me even though I saw some of them for a couple of years or more. I never really opened up to them, I only worked on a superficial level. I wonder if they know that, or recognized that at the time? I don't care if they remember me or not. Most of my students do remember me. Some of them even fondly. Sent from my mobile device using Tapatalk.
__________________
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned." --Richard Feynman |
#48
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Yes - students and even clients remember me more than I expected. I have had them come up to me in grocery stores or parks or wherever and talk to me years after I had contact with them. I never remember them. But I (in my position as counsel or professor) am more unique to them than they are to me.
I think the same is true of therapists -to the client - the one therapist is more unique than the client is to that therapist. I would think most anxious or depressed or whatever people are much alike from the outside. In my job of representing clients who are trapped in the mental health system - they can be grouped together by problem or personality type.
__________________
Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
#49
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I don't think my therapist even remembers my name until the receptionist tells him I've checked in.
__________________
"Fantasy, abandoned by reason, produces impossible monsters; united with it, she is the mother of the arts and the origin of their marvels." - Francisco de Goya |
![]() awkwardlyyours
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#50
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My T and I have been through a lot, good and bad, and I've called her on all the bad stuff, and it really affected me greatly. I know quite well that my T won't be forgetting me after we terminate..... we put each other through a bit of hell.
__________________
~It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving~ |
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