[granite1]

again i have so much going through my head thinking about my therapy appointment tomorrow . i want so badly to be able to talk to her about things . it is a completely different feeling then wanting to talk to her in the past. i dont know if this feeling will pass but for now it is what it is . its like i have this want to just move on . i see all this misery . have all this hopelessness. all these feelings of horribleness ,hat for who i am . so cynical of life . like i have nothing of value to offer anyone in this life . on and on and on . it is ruling my life, that along with feeling like i just dont belong in this world .that i never ever had a place from the moment i was born. i really belonged to no one and no one wanted me . i was just there . to serve whatever needs needed to be dealt with . i want to talk to my therapist about all of it . it for some reason seems like i will never have enough time to do this . not with one hour a week . i have this huge need for her to help me figure this all out . i want to either just move on with my life and be happy with who i am, accept my limitations and stop wanting to be like normal people .im probably not making a lot of sense to people but it is just a lot going on here in my head . im feeling so horrible about family stuff and that isnt going away. i was wanted by nobody . anyway im very confused and just wish i could figure out how to be ok with talking about it to my T

[Skeezyks]

Hello granite1: The Skeezyks would simply like to send some warm thoughts your way with the hope that you will be able to find the words to express all that is in your heart. I have some sense of how you feel. I have often wished I could just tell all... express everything I hold within. In my case, it will never happen. I hope that it can happen for you...

[ruh roh]

I'm sorry. I wish I had advice. It's an excruciatingly slow process that I've wanted to speed up, but even when I tried, it just made my symptoms worse.

An hour a week is not a lot of time, I agree. I'm fortunate in that I can email between sessions. It's not usually a lot, but it helps. Are you able to do that?

[annielovesbacon]

I understand this feeling. I hate the times I have to go in between sessions. The one hour never feels like enough time. Journaling helps me. Sometimes I write letters to her (I don't send them, although you could if you wanted, it just helps me get feelings out) and I make notes of things I want to tell her so I can read over it just before session and remember to tell her.