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#1
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Every session my T asks if I have had any suicidal thoughts and I always tell her no, even though that's not the truth. Well last week I decided I was finally ready to tell her the truth, it takes me awhile to open up to people and trust people and so I finally was ready to tell her. So when she asked me in our session yesterday, I told her yes, and I told her that I hadn't been truth ful when she had asked me before.
I thought she would understand that I was too scared to tell her before but she instead asked me a bunch of questions and told me that she wasn't sure she could trust me anymore. ![]() I just feel so sad and guilty.
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stay afraid, but do it anyway. |
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#2
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Therapists are not supposed to guilt trip you.
Did you say in the other thread that you are ending with this one?
__________________
Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
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#3
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I am sorry you are sad about this and feeling guilty. That said, I am not sure I would blame t for questioning her ability to trust you if I had been lying to her about intrusive thoughts of self harm. That is pretty serious. Sounds like she was being honest with you about a possible rupture in the therapeutic relationship. For me, trust is a two way street in therapy.
__________________
Bipolar: Lamictal, and Abilify. Klonopin, Ritalin and Xanax PRN. |
#4
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Sigh. I rolled my eyes at your T's response. COME ON.
#1--People like ALL.THE.TIME. It is the basis of the TV show House ![]() #2--Definitely clients lie to their T's too. I actually admitted to my T a little lie the other day over the phone, and she just laughed and said "Its fine, my clients lie to me all the time." |
![]() LonesomeTonight
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#5
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It's a serious issue and I know my T and pdoc expected full honesty concerning my symptoms from me, including suicidality, because without it their ability to truly be able to evaluate my safety and help me was greatly disrupted. Personally, I wouldn't take what your T is saying as anything more than a firm reminder to, in the future, continue to be honest if you are having suicidal thoughts. As in all human dynamic, consistency in doing this will allay her doubts about what you tell her about your safety. She can't work most effectively on only partial information, particularly if the client is deliberately withholding that information that is very important to evaluation.
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#6
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I lied to my therapist about that too. I did not want to chance having to go to a mental hospital. She was actually understanding. It is your decision what to tell and what not to tell. She should not assume you will trust her right from the start. She does not sound competent. If she is reacting this way now how will you feel safe coming to her for other things.
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#7
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A therapist should understand your fear about speaking about your suicidality. She should not shame you. Rather, she should express gratitude that you overcame your fear. She should praise you for that and encourage you to keep up the good work.
You did well to tell her. Good job! ![]() ETA: It took courage to tell her! I'm glad that you did. |
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#8
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I believe the appropriate response to this would have been, "I'm glad you've finally told me." I don't see how making you feel guilty and untrustworthy is helpful to you, and her job is to help you, not judge you and make you feel bad.
Also, having a go at someone who tells you they are feeling suicidal? Who does that?!
__________________
And now I'm a warrior Now I've got thicker skin I'm a warrior I'm stronger than I've ever been And my armor is made of steel You can't get in I'm a warrior And you can never hurt me again - Demi Lovato |
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#9
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Quote:
To Bill's point, how likely are you, Annie, to bring up something like this again? It can be INCREDIBLY hard for a client to be honest with a therapist about a difficult topic, so I really don't understand where this one gets off guilting and expecting automatic trust. |
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#10
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If you are already feeling suicidal, it seems like such a harsh reaction in response to this could make things bad enough to put you at risk. Please take care and stay safe.
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#11
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i wouldn't like that response. recently i told my T about how i had relapsed on drugs . i hid it from him and everyone else for a while. when i told him, or, texted him the truth... he texted me and thanked me for telling him. i was so worried he would be angry at me and/or refer me out. your T sounds like she reacted negatively which would probably reinforce me into keeping secrets even more
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#12
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That's not a theraputic response.
Though honesty works best. Sometimes it takes time for us to find it for ourselves let alone the T. From how you describe it, I'd say find another T. |
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#13
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How has this incident affected YOUR ability to trust HER?
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#14
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Quote:
![]()
__________________
stay afraid, but do it anyway. |
#15
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Quote:
__________________
stay afraid, but do it anyway. |
![]() Bill3
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![]() Bill3
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#16
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How would you have felt if she had simply said "I am glad that you told me"?
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![]() LonesomeTonight
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#17
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it hasn't affected my ability to trust her one way or another.
__________________
stay afraid, but do it anyway. |
#18
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I would have preferred that response...
__________________
stay afraid, but do it anyway. |
![]() Bill3
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![]() Bill3
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