Have you ever been hurt or used by a therapist?

It's fair. I said NOTHING about sincerity, but I do see a strong bent of cynicism toward therapy and therapists here that did not exist even a year or so ago.

I think it depends on what one classifies as cynical.

I took a look at the first page with 20 threads. If I drop the Couch and the 'Dear T' threads, I'd say there may be about 3 threads that could be construed as particularly critical of therapy -- that's about 17% of all threads (3 out of 18).

The rest I see as people asking questions / trying to sort out their emotions, experiences etc while IN therapy -- I don't see that as critical of therapy (or for that matter, being pro therapy either) and it only echoes Pennster's point of people being sincere in their struggles related to therapy.

Am sure I could do the same sort of check for previous pages as well.

But, someone else may come up with a different reading of the 'cynical or critical meter' for these threads.

So, then I think the crux of the matter is what is the definition of cynical or critical that we're using?

I think lola is right that a more therapy-cynical threads pop up on this forum than there used to be, but there is also a lot of people who are really happy with their therapy too (me included).
I also think it depends how you measure it, because, for example, I might be upset at something T has said and start a thread about it, and some of those responses might supportively say "your T shouldn't have said that" "I'd be upset too" etc. I would see that as supportive rather than cynical even though overall I have a great relationship with my T.
And let's not forget there are people on here with shocking therapists, so a good dose of cynicism isn't always a bad thing!

I cheerfully admit to being cynical and skeptical about therapists and therapy. I do not, however, see most people on this forum as being that way.
I am also cynical about my own profession and many other things - for me, psychology is not being singled out.

Cynicism in terms of negative generalizations about therapy and therapists rather than sticking to discussing personal experience. I have no problem with people discussing their personal experience, but when they start generalizing about an entire profession and an entire group of professionals based on their own cynicism over their own personal situation, that creates a general air of negativity around here. That is the trend that seems to have arisen that just grates on my nerves personally. Does everyone experience it that way? Of course not, but I do. It is a difference from the environment that once existed here; I don't experience it personally as a positive change. Others apparently like it. Thus, the nature of these kinds of forums. We experience them differently.

Then I am lead to wonder if this poll had been taken 3-5 years ago, if the numbers would be different.

They wouldn't. It hasn't really changed that much. People on both sides see what they want. Most posts are positive though. Most people are positive about therapy. It's a tiny few who are more realistic about it.

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So negative is more realistic? No judgment there.

I wonder if this doesn't deserve a poll all by itself. Something like --

Do you think this forum sees the influence of therapy / therapists as being mostly....?

1. Positive, akin to the Second Coming

2. Negative, akin to a combination of Darth Vader and a nuclear wasteland

3. Somewhere in between

4. Other (E.g. I have no feelings about the feelings on this forum)

Akin to the second coming? Less realistic? Does no one else the the underlying message that those who think positively about our therapy experiences are somewhat delusional? And yes, delusional has been used to describe us. That's a shame.

For me, other than the times I was careless and walked into the trap or met them without the necessary armour, I have not been hurt or abused or abandoned by a therapist. I base my skeptical approach on how they explain themselves (in person and in their books and textbooks and notes etc) and my professional experience with them.

I took the sample poll questions more as a playful description than one of serious intent.

It ceases to be playful when the message is repeated consistently. It is a joke at the expense of others.

Lolagrace -- that was entirely in jest. Apologies.

If you note though, I used similar hyperbole for the negative side.

I understand that things can get misconstrued online and especially when you don't know someone....so, should've considered a bit more before posting (I'm usually far more in awe of my sense of humor than my audience...sigh).

I read it as playing with everyone - Darth Vader is a bit over the top too.

My T would be described as a "shocking therapist" as Echo Myron said above. I voted "other" in the poll because my T violated me in numerous ways. Shamed, humiliated, yelled at me, violated confidence, betrayed me in the most awful way imagined and then he abandoned me and ignored me hoping I would "go away quietly". He took advantage of my kindness to him. I had been an ideal client.

I can' t tell you how badly he hurt me. I used to encourage counseling for people. I used to be like many others on PC who believed in therapy. Do you know what your T says about you behind your back to other people?? For me it was the complete opposite of what I would have imagined. It was a completely wrong interpretation of me. He pretended to understand me but went crazy associating me with some fictional character he developed in his sick mind.

Exactly. It was funny.

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Sorry you went thru that. That sounds horrific.

My story contains similar elements, though my T was not shocking. On the surface she was quite nice and supportive. But in the end I too was shamed, humiliated, betrayed, rejected, abandoned, etc. I was also very much expected to go away quietly, which was itself traumatic because it trapped me in a familiar place of powerlessness and mute rage.

As someone wrote, the dynamics of emotional seduction followed by punishment can be very destructive. Punishment could be subtle things like emotional withdrawal, blaming, unilateral boundary or rule changes, intimidation. Or perhaps the ultimate, termination and refusal of contact.

How much of this is captured in surveys on outcomes or in professional literature? Who even cares? The focus is on the headline-grabbing stories. Everything else is the client's problem.

I found out a long time ago the ones who throw out accusations like that aren't interested in rational discussions or actually looking at the true dynamics of the forum. And they are way more judgemental than most while accusing others of passing judgment. People with those attitudes have a lot to do with why I view therapy the way I do.

I agree with this.

I've experienced the good, the bad and the ugly in years of therapy with many therapists. Similar to what stopdog described - I go to therapy because I get something out of it but enter guarded and with skepticism.

I can personally attest to the fact that therapy gone wrong is a hell unlike anything I've experienced in my life outside of therapy. Though I've also felt incredible therapeutic connections and have been able to make a lot of positive life changes through therapy. Sometimes it's with the same therapist at different points in the process.

I find this board to be incredibly supportive of people in therapy. The majority of people here, no matter their own experiences, seem to genuinely care about helping others.

THIS!!!!

I have just realised that when I said this, I actually had my own mother somewhere in the back of my mind. She had a very difficult childhood, with a father who was in and out of psychiatric hospitalisation, and who would then be fine for periods of time until he would start drinking again and get worse until he had to be taken to the hospital again. She spent the first 13 years of her life like that, with a mother who often had to work double shifts because her husband wasn't capable of working at all. My mother was left to look after her father. Long story short, when she was 13 she found him dead from an overdose (it wasn't the first time he'd taken one, but it was the last). She has told me she felt relieved, but she's had to live with that her whole life, the idea that she couldn't save him, and knowing she she felt relieved when that burden was finally taken off her shoulders (rather than feeling sad because she'd lost her father).

My mother is a very emotionally closed off person. She denies it, but I know she has struggled greatly with depression, and though I love my mum it is also becoming increasingly clear to me that her damage has, in turn, damaged me. So when she told me she had once been in therapy, I wasn't surprised, but I also wasn't surprised to hear her say that she hadn't found it helpful. She said it had felt like she was just having a chat with a friend. She eventually just stopped going because she saw no point in it.

I am absolutely convinced that my mother was not ready for therapy. She went in there with scepticism and her childhood emotions so repressed she did not have access to them at all, and she couldn't make use of it. She didn't put herself in a position to be vulnerable and open to change. She knew she was sad and wanted someone to talk to, but at the same time she didn't know how, and probably expected the therapist to do most of the work. When that didn't happen, she decided it was useless and gave up.

Only very recently has my mother gone back to therapy again, and because I have talked to her about my own therapy progress over the past three years (a bit like pulling teeth to get anyone in my family to listen to anything regarding my emotional struggles) I think some of it has actually seeped through, because she started to tell me about her sessions and how they were helping her. She says she's been able to explore a lot of things and to make sense of them, and that it has been eye-opening. She wasn't ready for therapy in her thirties, but she was in her fifties. I don't think she knew what to expect at all the first time she tried it, and I think that's true for a lot of people.

It is quite possible that the therapist she saw all those years ago was useless, and that she didn't explain to my mother what therapy was going to be like and how it could be helpful, but the most important detail for me here is that my mother just gave up. She didn't try to look for another one. In short, she didn't actually want to be there in the first place.

I'm not judging people like my mother. Everyone has to deal with stuff in their own way. But it is important to keep in mind that there could be all kinds of different reasons why therapy doesn't work out.

If there is a trend toward more criticism and questioning (which is not the same as cynicism) of therapy here, shouldn't that logically be seen as a reflection of an increase in negative therapy outcomes, rather than some sort of takeover of the forum by people with bad attitudes?

Also this unofficial prohibition on making generalizations, makes no sense to me. I don't know how I would make sense of anything if I didnt attempt to connect the dots.

I don't personally mind being considered cynical but I find the posts that blame the client for not working or not rolling over and submitting to the therapist or not being ready for therapy or for thinking therapy was going to be easy to show a gross lack of understanding of the situation.

I agree. It is also very easy to client-blame because we have 'problems' or 'issues'.