[Ad Intra]

Does your T offer out of session contact? I'm not sure mine does but I'm too nervous to ask.

You really need to ask so you know what options are and aren't available.

My T was available via phone whenever I felt the need. I would call his office and leave a message for him, and he would get back to me that day -- usually within a few hours but always that same day. If I called after hours (and I only did that in an emergency), his answering service would get hold of him and he would get right back to me. My pdoc worked exactly the same way.

My t is fine with phone calls or texts for scheduling, I can also call and leave a message and she'll call me back, doesn't charge for phone calls if they're under 10 minutes. I've used that option maybe 3 times over 4.5 years. I am free to email (I do try not to abuse that) she doesn't always respond. When she does respond, it's usually only 2 or 3 words. The longest email I ever got from her was in response to my question about referring one of my coworkers to her.

[JaneTennison1]

New T will respond to my emails very thoughtfully. I appreciate her responses very much and because I know it's there I probably only email once a month. Old T seemed against emails and so it became a preoccupation of mine not to be "bad" and email.

[stopdog]

The first one never really said anything. I tend to write and she has not objected. If I call, she will call me back.

The second told me every week for about the first three years to call her if I thought it would be useful. She does not say it quite so much anymore, but I think it is because she thinks I know it is there. I rarely call. Maybe 3-4 times in 5 years.

[woods girl]

I'm very lucky in that I can call mine or text whenever needed, as long as it's important. Sometimes I have to wait due to his schedule, but I know my level of access is rare for where I live. Almost all the other T's around here are off limits outside of session

[Ellahmae]

My T is selective with who she has contact with out of session and not. I did not ask for contact when I first started, she offered me her cell number and told me to text anything anytime and so it began...

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[Gettingitsoon]

My experience is just as Ellahmae.
I would never have expected or asked for between session contract when I first began seeing T. I did know that I could leave a message on her office phone in an emergency and get a call back. That was fortunately not ever needed.

But after awhile, she offered me her personal cell and said that she'd actually like for me to text her between sessions. Now, it's pretty standard that I'll text once or twice just short notes about what's happening on things we've been working on. No big long discussions, just touching base. For me, it's a novel idea to be relying on someone vs always being the support for many family members so kinda a therapy goal. It feel felt weird at first, like therapy in general, but more natural over time. As in, I wouldn't ever be thinking to text my primary care doc or OB/Gyn, so learning to be comfortable with T took time for me.

I while I'm sure my T maintains similar contact with some of her other clients, I doubt it is universal with all.

I was quite lucky as my T had it written in the contract so I knew I cold email him, however if it's something urgent he would suggest scheduling an extra session. He usually replies briefly but we never get into a discussion via email.

[musinglizzy]

T1 has always encouraged Emails. If she didn't hear from me, I was often questioned about it, which kind of annoyed me at times. Now she knows I only Email her if I "feel" like it. She was also quite open with texts until fairly recently. She felt her devices were "taking over her life" so she turned off Email notifications, and asked clients not to text her. It was not easy, felt like yet another thing she ws taking awa, but I've survived.

T2 is also open to Emails, and always responds. I don't email her very often. She also allows texts, which I use even less than I do Emails. But knowing I can...well, that's a good feeling.

[ThingWithFeathers]

My t allows emails and phone calls. She reponds during business hours only (mostly). I didn't ask, but she told me and gave me her details. I make sure I don't abuse the privilege (I email occasionally and call only in emergencies).

I hope you find the courage to ask your t. It is a very helpful resource to have when you're in deep need.

[ScarletPimpernel]

Ex-T allowed emails. When I started with current T, she wanted to start out with the same boundaries as ex-T. And she has allowed me to keep emailing.

[ilikecats]

I can call and text my T. We do it somewhat often. I feel really lucky to be able to contact my T outside of sessions.

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[junkDNA]

i can text and email my T. i could call but i rarely do.

Mine did for all her clients. It's not something she tells them, including me, unless they ask. They just wonder into it, because that is how society is. Not all of or clients want contact out of sessions or are needing or wanting the same amount of contact. She has no mobile, so there is no texting. I was known to show up once or twice without an appointment.

[doogie]

At first, my T was fine with text and email for scheduling, and I could email her - but her boundary was not to respond. I have been seeing her for about a year now and as she has learned more about me and about my situation and needs, we have agreed on "check-in" emails between sessions such as I might say "Just touching base" and she might write back "I'm here." and that's it. No counseling over email at all, because she feels that goes against her ethical boundaries. I can call her when I need to and she will call me back, but I haven't needed to use that method of contact yet. I also see her weekly, so I don't usually have too long of a stretch between appointments. It's a hard conversation, but I would just bring up the subject in some way and see what your T says.

nothing outside of scheduled sessions

[SoConfused623]

The only thing that I can do is call and leave a voice mail in an emergency. She does not email and has never offered her cell number for texting. I left her a message one time that I really needed to talk to her and she called me back in just an hour or two. We spoke briefly and agreed to talk about everything at my next appointment. While I'm jealous of those who can email and text their Ts I felt very fortunate when I really needed to hear from her that she called me back so quickly.

[ruh roh]

My therapist replies to emails, usually briefly, but sometimes she's gone into more depth. I avoid emailing on her non-work days, but there have been times when I did, and she replied then too. She has never made an issue out of it, and I have needed it less as time goes on.

[seoultous]

My t is in a practice with others including my pdoc. I schedule with a secretary so I have no need to bother her with that. When I leave she almost always says I can call her if I need to. She is unavailable on nights, weekends, and holidays so if I have a crisis I have to go to the ER. All this was made clear when I started seeing her.

[ThisWayOut]

Current t allows texting and calls outside of session. Texting was very weird at first, and I still try not to abuse it much (though sometimes I feel like I text too much). One of the goals of therapy for me is to reach out and ask for support when I need it (rather than end up in the hospital or seriously self-harming). It's taken me a few months, but I'm now at a point where I can text "just to check" and that usually helps me feel less alone when struggling. She keeps insisting it's not bothersome or annoying, so I take that at face value. Occasionally, i'll text something specific about whatever I'm struggling with, and we either have a brief text exchange, or she calls.
She's also open to additional sessions as needed (and she has availability).
I'm not sure she does email, never asked.

Previous t's have had varying policies around outside contact. One was cool reading private blog entries, most would return calls during office hours. A few had clinic crisis lines accessible after hours. Current t has the most lenient outside contact yet. I'm not sure how she does it because she specializes in trauma, which means most her clients have a high likelihood of needing additional support... she's been doing it for a long time though, so she must be taking her own needs into account.

[scallion5]

No texting. Emails are allowed but he doesn't reply, and won't read them unless they're under one printed page (and even then just kind of scans it in the 5 minutes before we meet, I think). I can call him all I want, but he won't answer his mobile. He does call back sometimes if I call during working hours and request a call back, but won't talk about anything except scheduling and maybe something that takes 2-3 minutes.

To be fair, he he also allowed longer contact over the phone with me in between sessions in times he decides I need it and that he is able to be in contact. Like, one time when he understood me to be in an emergency. So, in essentially, very rarely if you mean actual 'contact.' I'm allowed one way transmittals into a black hole...and 5% of the time the black hole shouts back.

[velcro003]

My T is very generous with out of session contact. Almost a year in, and i'm still nervous that one day she'll be like "What was i thinking?!"

I can e-mail, call...and she once told me the easiest way to contact her on the weekend is texting, so i've texted once. It was weird, and it feels too intrusive, so i doubt i'll do it again.

I will say, her being so generous with it, has helped me immensely. She knows that I take time to process things, and I do it better in writing than in person. She has always called back pretty quickly, and I really appreciate it.

[HALLIEBETH87]

I can text if it's super important and sometimes she replies and sometimes we discuss it later

[Pennster]

Mine encourages out of session contact. I can text or ring him and he will ring me back and do some coaching, which generally helps me figure out ways to help myself. Some times I have had to call him a few times a month, but I have gotten much better at managing myself so I need less help now.

I also email sometimes, but I nearly always tell him that I don't need a reply. I use email to either write out a plan for the day if I am having a difficult time, or just vent a little if I am feeling distressed, which seems to help relieve the pressure. He will occasionally reply with something encouraging, but for me the real help is in resetting my mindset by reaching out a little bit.

Outside contact is one of the most useful aspects of this round of therapy. It's really helped me practice managing my mindset, because I feel like it gives me a bit of a floor when I start to get depressed. When I tried therapy with my first therapist with no outside contact, I would often wind up quite distressed for days on end, with no way of knowing how to pull myself out of it. That doesn't happen anymore, and I'm so much better at taking care of myself now.