[laxer12]

I've been seeing my T for exactly 1.5 years today which is pretty much the entire time I've lived in Texas and been in grad school. T has been the most important person in my life during this time and I look forward to seeing her every week. I think I've only missed 7-8 sessions during this period of time, only when I'm out of town.

However, I will be graduating in just a couple of weeks and I'm currently applying to jobs back home so I will most likely leave Texas within the next 1-2 months. This means my sessions left with T are very limited but without a definitive moving date, I really don't know how many I have left.

I've been dreading my last couple of sessions for about a year now and the realization that I may only have one more month with T is killing me. I've told her that I'm going to have a hard time when our relationship is over but I don't think I've done a good job fully expressing the pain and sadness I already feel and will likely feel even more once I have to say goodbye.

Anyone have tips on the best way to really tell her how much I'm hurting over this? I'm generally not good at expressing my feelings and I tend to minimize them when talking to other people. I'm not sure exactly how T can help me work through this but I need her to know before I have to say goodbye.

Any advice on the best way to do this/what exactly to say?

[AllHeart]

Congrats on your upcoming graduation!!

What about writing your thoughts down on paper and giving it to your t?

[laxer12]

Originally Posted by AllHeart

Congrats on your upcoming graduation!!

What about writing your thoughts down on paper and giving it to your t?

Thank you

That's definitely an option. I'm not sure I would want to be sitting right in front of her as she reads it but maybe email would work too...

I just don't know how direct I should be. I don't think she has really understood it when I've brought it up before so maybe I need to be direct and just tell her how I feel...

[Coco3]

I second the writing it down. If you're not comfortable with being with your T while she reads it, you can email her before session. Emailing has always worked wonderfully for me, I find it much easier to express what I'm feeling.

[Waterbear]

I am going through the same struggle and, for me, I really think that I need to tell her in person, directly to see her reaction. I think it important for me though it will be so so hard. I have told her in via email and the subject has come up but, like you, I don't feel that she sees how much I am hurting. I think she is sad too, she has said she is, and maybe she is trying to block her own sadness so that is why I am sensing mixed things. I want to see her sadness as I show mine, looking in her eyes, that would be powerful. I can only try. Good luck with whatever you decide.

[laxer12]

So moving away from the method of communication (in person, email, letter, etc.), what specifically have people said in order to fully communicate it. I can't cry in therapy but I think if that happened she would "get it". I don't even know what to say for her to really understand...

I think most T's recognize that special bonds are formed in therapy. After all, they're "that friend you've always dreamt of having". They listen to you, they give you advice, they compliment you, they're there for you through your ups and downs... That's as good as it gets in terms of friendship, am I right?

That being said, I think your T will understand when you tell her how upset you'll feel when you have to leave her. Seriously, just tell her how much she means to you -- tell her how much she has helped you push through your pains and struggles, and express to her that you wouldn't have been able to do it without her. You don't have to say anything special. Just be honest and share your true feelings. In fact, you can literally say "I hope you understand how much pain and sadness I am going through. Your help means a lot to me."

That's what I would do. Best of luck

[laxer12]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I think most T's recognize that special bonds are formed in therapy. After all, they're "that friend you've always dreamt of having". They listen to you, they give you advice, they compliment you, they're there for you through your ups and downs... That's as good as it gets in terms of friendship, am I right?

That being said, I think your T will understand when you tell her how upset you'll feel when you have to leave her. Seriously, just tell her how much she means to you -- tell her how much she has helped you push through your pains and struggles, and express to her that you wouldn't have been able to do it without her. You don't have to say anything special. Just be honest and share your true feelings. In fact, you can literally say "I hope you understand how much pain and sadness I am going through. Your help means a lot to me."

That's what I would do. Best of luck

Thank you

Just reading your post made me tear up a little...I will probably have to write down whatever I want to say because I don't even think I could read it out loud without breaking down.

You made a good point though, she probably does know how much she means to me. She knows I don't really open up to anyone else and that where I'm living now, I barely have any close relationships. It's the hurt and sadness that I'm not expressing well, or really at all.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

I am so sorry you are going through this and feeling this pain. Its a loss like no other. I am in the same boat. My therapist is closing her practice in a week and it has been so horrible for me trying to cope with loosing her. I had to tell her in person how much this hurts and I also feel like she doesn't "get" how much this hurts. I have also written her a letter I will give to her in our final session that says all the ways she has helped and how much she means to me. Its like 10 pages long but we have a long history and there is so much to be said.

I hope you can navigate through this as well as you can. Its hard to loose someone who means so much but try to remember that she will live on in your heart forever. Best of luck to you!