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#1
Jul 12, 2007, 04:50 PM
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I want to talk with him. I want to yell at him. I want to quit. I want him to soothe me.
What is wrong with me. I am all over the place with this. I so want to pick up the phone and call. What would I say. I don't know what is wrong - I just want you to talk to me. I want to scream and I want to cry, but most of all I want T. |
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#2
Jul 12, 2007, 05:29 PM
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Maybe you could write down some of how you are feeling and take it with you next time. Ask him if he could leave you a voicemail that addresses what you wrote about... ie if you are afraid he will abandon you ask him for a message that is reassuring.
It is amazingly comforting to listen to your T's voice when distressed. So, if you have nothing to say maybe it would help soothe you to just hear his voice? |
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#3
Jul 12, 2007, 06:12 PM
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((((((((purple))))))))))
Feel free to pm me if you want to talk ok? |
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#4
Jul 13, 2007, 10:04 AM
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You want to "destroy" T and have him "get you back". You want to destroy him but also keep him. Its trying to contain the ambivilance of those feelings where the pain is caused!
Just tell him how you feel. |
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#5
Jul 13, 2007, 10:14 AM
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Well T called my home last night. What is wrong with me. He did not call for me. T has done a lot of family therapy also the last year and I have one son that sees him every once in a while. Well I guess my son called and left him a message - I am very proud of son (he is a teen). So anyhow T called him back last night and he wasn't home so I talked to T a minute about son - well what T could drag out of me. I was like - he isn't home, I guess he is alright, I was rude to say the least and then when we hung up - I was angry at T again - what is up with that. I think I have snapped. I don't know what is going on with me. All I can think is jerk jerk jerk - please help me, I want and need you. AAARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!
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#6
Jul 14, 2007, 08:26 PM
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I really feel for you -- I have that push/pull thing going all the time. I am very conflicted internally about my therapist, therapy, dependency, need, etc. It's all very hard. I wish I had the answer. I just keep talking about it . . . and talking . . . and talking . . .
__________________
Fall down seven times, get up eight. -- Japanese Proverb |
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